


Come Home with Me

by SiLVeR_MisT



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alex Danvers and Ava Sharpe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Falling In Love, Insecure Sara Lance, Jealous Sara Lance, Lesbian Sex, Mention of Gideon, Nonbinary Charlie (DC's Legends of Tomorrow), Sara Lance Needs a Hug, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe-centric, Soft Ava Sharpe, Verbal Abuse, mention of Amaya Jiwe/Nate Heywood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 60,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28334355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiLVeR_MisT/pseuds/SiLVeR_MisT
Summary: Barista Sara Lance is dealing with the aftermath of her broken engagement and toxic relationship. While coping with confusing emotions, she cannot deny her ever growing attraction to a very particular beautiful blonde patron, Ava, who immediately noticed her missing ring. Even so, Sara knows she needs time but can Ava wait for her and most of all, will she be able to understand her?-All of us have scars, past hurt and broken bits. Sometimes we feel unworthy, but that is a lie we tell ourselves. No one is too broken to be loved. No matter what the voices say, we are good enough. Our scars are warrior paint, showing the world our strength.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe, Sara Lance/Nyssa Raatko
Comments: 204
Kudos: 278





	1. It's Done

**Author's Note:**

> I humbly ask that you give this story a chance. Be warned that you have to at least get to Chapter 10 before things will get better. This is my first post so please be kind. This story is the outcome of reading Avalance fics from my favorite authors. One in particular has been very accommodating to me and by doing so, her kindness made a difference to some awful and painful days. I hope that she will not change. To my very patient, loving and caring support group, thank you for the push. 
> 
> “Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal.”
> 
> I want to test the waters if this works for me and it would be nice to know what you think. So here it goes…

SARA LANCE

I am done. I, Sara Lance, is officially done.

Why? Because I cannot live my life the way my fiancé wants me to. No, not anymore. I don’t want to be told every single day how I should wear my hair, or that I should dress how she sees fit. So, I am done. For good. Just like I promised myself the last time I was in this mood. Just like I told myself the last time she brought me so far down that I was simply existing. Slipping my jacket over my shoulders, I pace the dark hardwood flooring beneath me. This apartment feels different today. It is cold and uninviting. I only feel void. Void of any sympathy that I once had for my ex-fiancée. Void of any love or commitment I felt during our five-year relationship. 

It’s been hard trying to break free from my relationship, but I have to do it for my own sanity. I have to accept that Nyssa and I shouldn’t be together, even if she has other ideas. No matter how many times she tells me she loves me, I see something totally different. I don’t see the love in her eyes anymore. Even when I did, it was short lived and I am not even sure if it was actually that. Now, I see nothing but control. Control over me. Control over our life together. I’m not fragile and I’m not vulnerable, but that is how Nyssa makes me feel. She makes me feel like a shell of my former self. Someone who isn’t capable of being independent or worth anything. Yeah, she makes me feel worthless.

Stopping at the exposed brick wall in front of me, I glance at the photographs hanging in the ivory frames. Even here my smile isn’t real. It’s a necessity. I just want someone who can love me wholeheartedly, but Nyssa isn’t that person for me and I’ve known it for a long time. I’ve known it since she started demanding I do things her way. I’ve known it since she started to lay out my clothes each day or prepare my coffee the way she liked it rather than how I liked it…and I’ve known it since she insisted I watch my weight because she couldn’t attend social events with me if I was carrying a few extra pounds. We have discussed it before and she has always promised to change, but honestly, its only getting worse. She cannot let go of the control so I’m doing it for her. I’m ripping off the Band-Aid and I’m leaving.

I’m twenty-nine and I have so much more to give in my life. Yes, I only work at the local coffee shop, but I love what I do. I love the people. How they go about their lives. I guess watching people is what makes me tick, and I guess watching people is what told me that I deserve more. So much more than what I have right now. And who am I kidding. What I have right now is nothing.

Maybe one day I will find the right person for me, and maybe I won’t. I just know that I cannot settle for the sake of it. I know that I cannot continue in the relationship I’m currently in because it will only cause a deterioration in my mental health, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to always feel second best or worthless. I want that love which sweeps you off your feet when you least expect it. I want the honesty and the kindness. I even want the fights. The disagreements and the discussions.

Nyssa doesn’t like to fight or have heated discussions. She believes she is wasting her time and energy on something that she will ultimately have the final say in. Her motto is ‘why bother?’. Kind of funny really since I’m about to take her motto and turn it around on her. If she cannot find it in her to be what I need…what a lover and a partner should be, then I cannot find it in me to try anymore. And so, why bother?

Releasing the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding, I straighten out the picture frames and turn my back on them for the final time. Taking one last glance around the open space that has never felt like home, I take my purse from the couch and the rucksack that is resting against the coffee table and approach the front door. Now standing in front of the large mirror to the left of the door, my eyes trail my body and even I don’t like what I see. I don’t feel good about myself. I know this is the right thing to do, but it still hurts. It still stings when I think about the five years I wasted on this woman. My dull blue eyes looking as tired and weary as they have done in as long as I can remember, I try not to focus on the black rings around them. God, I need a break.

Alright, maybe she doesn’t find me attractive anymore. Maybe she doesn’t feel that connection I once felt. That spark. I miss that spark. The one that gives you butterflies deep in the pit of your stomach. The one that sets your skin on fire. The one that tells you the woman standing before you is all you could ever need. That spark died between us a long time ago and I believe our relationship did in the same moment. I will survive. I survived before I met Nyssa and I am sure as hell that I will survive after her.

No longer willing to watch the woman staring back at me, I take my keys from the table and step out into the corridor. This has to be the final time. I can’t crawl back to her again. I just can’t. I may only have a rucksack full of my essentials, but it’s all I need. I’m taking some time out at a friend’s place and anything I need is already there. Maybe I will one day return to collect the rest, but when that will be…I don’t know. I just know that I have to break free from this relationship from hell. I need to be my own person again.

Heading towards the exit of my soon to be old apartment block, I breathe a sigh of relief when my shoulders release the tension they’ve been burdening for a long time. Maybe this will all fall to pieces, but maybe, just maybe it could be the best decision I’ve ever made.

Stepping out to the streets of cold and grey New York City, the icy wind pierces my bones and a slight chill settles deep inside of me. I have arranged to stay with my best friend Zari until something more suitable becomes available, but right now I have a shift to get to. One that will take my mind off the pain of my morning so far. I may no longer love Nyssa, but she had been a big part of my life, even if it was never reciprocated.

Ten minutes into my walk, I reach the coffee shop. Always arriving a little earlier than usual, it gives me a chance to enjoy my usual choice of coffee before the busy midday rush keeps me on my toes. I am actually looking forward to seeing my regular customers today and that isn’t normal for me. Not on a Monday morning, anyway with the usual rush. Okay, I am looking forward to seeing one customer in particular. One who just has something about her that I can’t quite put my finger on.  


Ava. 

That is all I know about her. Her name. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. One who would probably never look twice at me. We have spoken occasionally but she has never given me any hint that she would be attracted to me. Why would she? I am just me. Plain and boring. At least, I am sure that is what she sees. I have watched her come and go with different women and they all look so much more than I ever would. Some looks like her friends or colleagues and I am guessing that one of them is someone so much more. 

The bustle of my workplace instantly relaxing me, I head straight to the wooden counter and my best friend Zari is there. Ready and waiting for me. She knows my routine better than I do.

“Cappuccino, Zari.” Giving her the slightest of smiles, she narrows her eyes and studies my face.

“You did it, huh?”

“Did what?” I ask, my eyes focusing anywhere but on Zari.

“You left?” Dipping her head, Zari meets my eyes and a small smile curls on the corner of her mouth. “I’m so proud of you.”

“It just all feels so wrong.” I shrug. “How I’ve done it. Left without any word.”

“Mmmm, you really shouldn’t worry about it.”

“That’s just who I am, Zari.” I clear my throat of any emotion. “I’m not the kind of person who just walks away without a goodbye. Surely she deserves that?”

“She deserves less but whatever.” 

Following Zari to the opposite end of the counter, she sets down a large Cappuccino on the wood between us and disappears. Moving towards an empty table, I take a seat and give myself a moment to realize exactly what I have just done. It is not too late to go back but doing so will only prolong the agony I’m going through. Doing so will prevent me from ever moving on with my life. I have to do this. Come on Lance! You can do this.

Studying the faces of the many customers inside the huge warehouse-like building, my eyes land on a familiar body and my heart rate speeds up a little. 

Ava. 

I smile to myself. This particular blonde is fairly new to the coffee shop but she hasn’t gone unnoticed by me. Every time the grey blue-eyed goddess arrives, I turn into a puddle, but it is all completely one-sided. At least, that is how I see it. Ava is a woman of sophistication and wealth. She oozes class and that is totally not what I possess. Not at all. Don’t get me wrong, I can dress like the best of them when I want to, but Ava is a beauty. Someone who draws every person she passes by completely in. God, she is something else.

My eyes dropping when Ava looks my way, a heat rises up my neck and settles on my cheeks. It isn’t the first time I blushed under her gaze, but now isn’t the time for flirting. I only left my apartment for the last time a little over twenty minutes ago, so…NO!, now is not the time to climb into bed with another woman. Yeah, in my dreams.

This is becoming a common theme with me of late, and I hate it. I hate that I have little to no confidence. I hate that I don’t feel like I’ll ever be good enough for anyone. That never used to be me. Not at all. I, Sara Lance, have always been confident and outgoing, maybe even a little flirty at one point. Nyssa sapped that right out of me, though, and now I’m living with the consequences of her actions. Her words. Her lack of love or respect for me. Pulling my phone from the side of my purse, I am relieved to find no word from her.

She pulled an all-nighter at the graphic design company she was recently hired at, and I figured that was the perfect opportunity to leave. Maybe it was a little cowardly of me, but I don’t have anything left inside of me where she is concerned. So, I left her a note. Pathetic, I know. It was just the easiest option for me right now. If I don’t leave this time, I fear I will never get the courage doing it.

Bringing the cup to my lips, I smile as the aroma hits my nostrils and I can already feel myself relaxing as the time ticks by. I am certain this day won’t end with me feeling relaxed but I’m taking what I can get right now. In this moment, everything feels okay and that is the only thing that matters.

Furrowing my brow when a familiar scent overpowers the aroma of my coffee, I lift my eyes slowly and my heart twists in my chest. That scent is one I have come to crave every Monday morning for the past month or so and I would recognize it anywhere. It’s subtle but has the ability to knock me off my feet. Ava.

“May I join you?” A soft voice causes me to blush again. “The other tables are taken.”

“Oh, right.” I clear my throat and sit up in my seat. “Help yourself. I’ll get out of your way as soon as I’ve finished.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Her grey blue eyes pierce through my soul and I’m not sure I am breathing right now. “You deserve to rest just like everyone else.”

I am totally lost right now. She is talking to me like she knows me. Like she wants to know me. Watching in slow motion as she runs her slender fingers through her luscious blonde locks, the scent of her shampoo overpowers my entire world and I quickly realize that she is talking to me.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked if you had the day off.” She leans forward in her seat a little.

“Oh, no.” I can see Zari watching me out of the corner of my eye. She knows how bad I’ve had it with Nyssa and she is the one who finally convinced me to leave. “My shift starts at ten.”

“Shame.”

“What is?” I ask, trying to get a read on the woman sitting across the table from me.

“That you have to leave in…” Glancing at her watch, she checks the time before once again fixing her stare on me. “…fifteen minutes.”

“Is there a reason you don’t want me to leave?”

“You seem like you would be good company.” Holding out her hand, Ava takes mine and gives it a firm shake. “Ava.” Thank god I already know her name because right now, I am too lost in her touch. “And you are?”

“Oh, Sara.” I internally chastise myself for staring at her longer than I deem acceptable. “You come by here a lot lately.” It is not a question but more of an observation.

“I do.” She agrees. “Seems I have a thing for good coffee, and now…good company.” Taken aback by this woman’s undeniable confidence, I feel like she is flirting with me.

“Oh, I’m not sure you would find me exciting.” I can feel the heat rising up my neck once again but I have no way of stopping it. She has this effect on me. “I’m just a barista.”

“Are barista’s not good people?” She narrows her eyes and I can’t help but notice the smirk forming on her gorgeous soft pink lips.

“They are.”

“You look different.” The sudden change in direction catching me a little off guard, I feel totally exposed right now.

“Different?” Does this mean she has noticed me before? Does this mean she has been watching me just like I’ve been watching her? This day may improve after all. “Different, how?” I ask.

“You used to wear a ring.”

“Good observation.” A slight laugh rumbles in my throat but I am not sure I like where this is going.

“But now you don’t.” She studies my face and those grey blues are just pulling me deeper and deeper. Further than I would like right now. “Tell me to mind my own business.”

“It didn’t work out.” Toying with my coffee cup, I glance down at the hot, creamy liquid and avoid eye contact with this beautiful blonde. The more I stare, the more I want to undress her.

“Well, I hope you find someone who deserves you.” Those soft pink lips curling at the corners, I give this intriguing woman one of my own smiles and she’s suddenly looking at me differently. “I should head off.” I sense a disappointment in her voice.

“Yeah, I guess I should, too.” I sigh. “Thank you for taking five with me.”

“Maybe it will happen again.” She says as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’ll see you around, Sara.” Standing, Ava fixes her blazer a little better on what I can only assume to be an incredible body and gives me a full smile. Wow. “Have a great day.”

“You too.” Something about the way Ava says my name leaves me feeling a little light-headed. How it just rolled off her tongue so effortlessly. I am in trouble.

Watching Ava as she walks away, I can’t help but allow my eyes to divert to her beautiful ass as it sits so perfectly on top of her incredible legs. Ava has left a mark on me, but I’m not sure what to make of it. Get out of your head, Lance. She would never go for you. Smiling at the interaction I’ve just shared with the mysterious blonde, I take my coffee cup from the table and stands. Work is the only thing that settles my mind, so work is what I will do.

***

Trudging through the cold and wet New York streets, I can’t remember the last time I felt such a strong connection to another person. I certainly haven’t felt it with Nyssa in a long time, but even then, that felt different. Different how, I’m not sure, but I know it didn’t feel the same. That spark that coursed through my entire being as Ava’s skin touched my own has awakened something within me, but it also scares me. The thought of falling for this woman and not ever acting on it terrifies me more than anything else right now.

The flirtatious nature of Ava caught my eye from the moment she sat down with me and it hasn’t left my mind all day. She hasn’t left my mind all day. Simply beautiful. I knew I was playing with fire from the moment I allowed this gorgeous blonde into my space, but it felt good. Just talking with her left me feeling better about myself more than any other conversation with a man or a woman has in a number of years. I guess I became so accustomed to the nasty words of my ex-fiancée that nothing else ever felt good.

My friends are long gone since I have pushed them away and the only person I had to fall back on was Zari. I lost all of them because of Nyssa. And Zari, she has become a good friend over the past year that I’ve been working at the coffee shop, but I do miss my old friends, too. I miss the people I have always considered to be my people.

Reaching my best friend’s apartment, I use the key she gave me to grant access to the block and I feel safe now that I am inside. Anywhere but my old apartment makes me feel safe and Zari’s place is no exception. It has always been warm and inviting, homely even. Something I have always struggled with is the understanding of how my own home felt so cold. How I felt completely detached when I was there. I don’t ever want to think about that place again.

Shaking myself from my thoughts, I climb the single flight of stairs to my new sanctuary. Nyssa doesn’t know Zari’s address, so I am safe here. Even though there was never any physical abuse, the emotional side of it was enough and often too much for my mind and body to take.

Reaching the door with 225 attached to it, I phish for a different key and slip it into the lock. Pushing the door open, I met a warm and enticing atmosphere. Finding Zari sprawled out on the large leather couch in the living room, I make my presence known and my friend simply throws her hand in the air and waves my way.

Quietly making my way through the loft space, my mind instantly wanders on my day. Ava noticed me and I am not entirely sure what to make of it. I never imagined she would ever hold a conversation with me, but she did, and I cannot stop thinking about her. It was something in her eyes. Something that told me she wants to hold more conversations with me.

Maybe I am just looking for a little attention, but when our hands met, I felt something stir inside of me. Kind of like that spark I have been missing. The one that I crave with another person. Isn’t that how the greatest love stories unfold? Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic and maybe I am just trying to hold onto something I’m not sure exists, but I admit, it kept me going today, so I’m sticking with it.

“Has Nyssa contacted you?” Zari pulls me from my thoughts and I give her a slight shake of the head. “Wow, really?” She approaches me in the kitchen, her oversized tee hanging from her body.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that she will contact me at some point.” I scoff. “She is likely to be figuring out some kind of speech to get me back.”

“God, I hope you won’t fall for it, Lance.”

“I won’t.” The determination in my voice causes Zari to raise her eyebrow a little. “I’m serious, Zari. She is wearing me down.”

“And, what about that blonde?”

“What blonde?” I feign any knowledge of what she is talking about.

“The one who comes into the coffee shop most days.” She smiles. “The one you shared coffee with this morning?”

“Ava? Oh, no.” I disagree. “She is way out of my league.”

“She is?”

“Come on, surely you can see it too?” I need Zari to tell me that we don’t fit, but we do. God, we so do.

“See what?” She asks. “The way she stares at you longingly from afar?”

“Does not.” I can’t help the laugh that escapes my mouth. “No one looks at me longingly, Zari.”

“Well, she does.” I move into the living room but she follows me, dropping down onto the couch beside me. “You may not see it, but I do.”

“I don’t know what you think you see, but Ava is a customer. Nothing more.”

“Not yet.” Okay, I really don’t need my friend to try and get my hopes up. Ava is way too good for me, and I have to acknowledge that before I allow it to go any further. She is smart and sophisticated. I may not know anything about her, but I can see that she is those things. It’s just something about the way she carries herself. The confidence in her shoulders.

“Zari, there is nothing there between us.”

“You keep telling yourself that.” She pats my leg. “But this would be so much easier if you just allow yourself a little fun. You know?”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Meet with her more often,” Zari suggests. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“We didn’t meet today.” My forehead creases. “She asked if she could join me. That’s all. It’s totally different.”

“And of all the tables in that place…she chose yours.” It’s more of a statement than a question.

“It was a full house when she arrived.” I am desperately trying to let go of any hope where Ava is concerned but my friend is making it painfully hard. “She needed a place to sit.”

“Trust me!” She holds up her hand. “There were plenty of empty seats.” Rolling her eyes, Zari sinks back into the couch and curls her legs under her body. “I’m not asking you to fall head over heels for this woman, but at least test the water.”

“And how do you propose I do that?”

“Talk to her.” She gives me a full smile. “Because I know she wants that interaction with you. I watched you both this morning.”

“And…relationship whisperer, what was the conclusion you came to?

“She wants you.” Trying to be as nonchalant as possible, a laugh rumbles in my throat and I shake my head. “She does, Sara.”

“Sure she does.” Rolling my eyes and removing myself from the confines of the warm leather couch, I move towards the window and watch the New York lights twinkle. I’ll bet she’s home with her wife or someone else right now. “I’m not looking for a relationship, anyway.”

“But if she asked?”

“She wouldn’t ask.” I glance back at the brunette who is burning a hole through my back with her intense stare.

“But if she did?” Something inside of me causing my stomach to somersault, a slight smile curls on my lips and I already know the answer to Zari’s question.

“I’d say yes.” I release a deep breath. “In a heartbeat.”

“Figured.” I can feel Zari smiling without even looking at her, but I’m not doing this. I’m not prepared to put myself in a situation where I would be left hurting. What’s the point? I don’t need that in my life right now. I’m okay. The single life is the only life for me at this moment in time.

“I’m turning in for the night.” Pushing off the frame of the window, I take my phone from the coffee table and give my best friend’s shoulder a squeeze. “Thanks for trying to help, but it really is no use.”

“Mmmm.” She slowly nods. “You’ll see.”


	2. You don't ask, you don't get any...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is on Ava's perspective and how she sees Sara. It also explores some emotions on Ava's part after their last encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A gentle reminder that you have to at least get to Chapter 10 before things will get better.
> 
> Thank you for the support and comments. It means a lot to me while I'm still finding my footing with this stuff. I do hope that you are having a nice holiday whatever way you choose to celebrate it.

AVA SHARPE

“Hey, Gary.” My call connecting, a voice filters through to me.

“Miss Sharpe…”

“Can you call down and check my schedule for Friday with Nora?”

“Sure can, Miss Sharpe.” I know he’s smiling. He always is. “Can I get you anything else?”

“That’s all for now.” Ending the call, I lift my black thick-rimmed glasses from my eyes and set them down on the mass of papers beside me. 

I can feel the headache I am trying to avoid all morning is creeping up on me and I’m not sure I have the time to deal with it. I am not sure I have the time to deal with anything right now. I didn’t sleep so well last night and it’s really beginning to affect me. It’s been almost a week since I slept soundly and I feel a hell lot older than thirty three. I feel ancient today.

Rolling my head on my shoulders, the grey New York sky only adds to my poor mood and today feels like the ideal day to curl up at home with a good movie. A romance sappy. The kind that makes you cry but also leaves you wondering if there is someone out there who is perfect for you.

Yeah, I need someone right now. I’ve needed someone in my life for way too long but it just never happens. My love life never happens. Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know. I feel like I could be someone’s everything, but it seems people have other ideas. I’m only good for one night stands, it seems.

I prefer to have someone to come into my life and stick around, but it hasn’t been that way in almost six months. The break was good at first. You know, that feeling of being free. The ability to breathe and just be me. I am over that now, though, and I am over my ex. A two-year relationship that just ended the moment I walked into our shared apartment to find her in bed with another woman.

I never imagined I will get that feeling, that tightening in my chest like I was unable to breathe. I never imagined I’d be cheated on. I am only human though. I might have been successful in the career department I always dreamed about, but at the end of the day, I go home and sleep just like everyone else. At the end of the day, I am just a woman who wants that earth-shattering love not only sex. Instead, I got the heartbreak. The hurt. The inability to trust anyone with my feelings again. I know everyone isn’t like my ex, but when you have watched your relationship crumble around you, it’s hard to let anyone in. It’s hard to give yourself away and totally drop your guard. I’m ready, though. More than ready.

She makes me want to drop my guard. Glancing out at the drizzle trickling down my floor to ceiling windows, the smallest of smiles settles on my lips and I drift off into my own world. To the woman who is constantly on my mind for the best part of the month. 

Sara.

She is interesting, to say the least. An absolute beauty. Brunettes have always been my preference but this woman, a blonde like me, is so much more than just a preference. Her eyes pull me in every time she looks at me. Every time I step into the coffee shop, I crave her attention.

To be honest, I am not the kind of woman who craves attention, but she totally turns my world upside down. Crazy, right? Crazy since I don’t know anything about her. I literally know nothing about her. I don’t care about that, though. If I could spend my life just watching her, I could die happy. Sharpe when did you get sappy?

My heart pounds inside my chest just thinking about her, but she’s totally closed off. I spoke to her last week and since then, I have avoided her. Something about her makes me want her, but I feel like I have to protect myself. She has gotten to me so I know I need to protect myself. How can I fall for a woman who doesn’t appear to want me in her space? How can I fall for a woman whom I do not know at all?

I have been asking myself those questions all week and I’m still left without answers. I tried to focus on my work but there is nothing in my head other than Sara. She invaded my thoughts constantly. Her eyes, those baby blues. Her touch. Her voice. God, she drives me crazy.

I have to stop this and I need to stop thinking about what I can’t have. But I could have her, right? Warring with my own internal thoughts, I pinch the bridge of my nose and try to breathe through the intense feelings I have right now. None of this is right. My behavior over the past week is not acceptable. I’m a highly successful business woman and I’m locked away in my office for fear of running down the street and kissing a woman I don’t even know. Her lips. They are the only thing I can focus on when she talks to me. Even if that is simply taking my order for coffee, she pulls me in. She drags me closer to her.

Maybe I should just change my coffee shop again? Maybe I should stop going by so I don’t have to see her, speak to her and fall for her. Though at this point, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah, avoiding her isn’t going to work. Why? Because I don’t want to avoid her. I don’t want to never see her again. I just want to know her. Get a feel for what makes her tick. Share coffee with her. Maybe even drinks outside of the coffee shop setting. I know she is resisting, but maybe she has a very good reason doing so. Has she been hurt? Has she had her world crushed just like I did some six months ago? And my conclusion to all this...Strangers. That’s what we are. We are nothing but complete strangers.

This is my daily internal musings. Releasing a deep sigh, I take my cell from the papers piled to my right and power down my computer. I need some air. Standing, I straighten out my tight black pantsuit and fix it on my thighs a little better. I totally haven’t dressed for the weather today, but my heels make me feel good. Heels always make me feel good.

Lifting my tailor-made black blazer from the back of my chair, I slip it over my shoulders and fix my hair. Today’s hair preference was to go straight. It adds a little length to my usual blonde curls. Satisfied that I’m good to go, I take my purse and head out of my office, all eyes landing on me as I do.

“Gary, I’m taking the rest of the day for myself.”

“Noted Miss Sharpe.” He stands, giving me a slight nod. “Nora is almost finished with your schedule.”

“Great.” I smile. “Email a copy over to me. Thank you.”

“No problem Ma’am. Have a nice day.” He immediately drops down into his seat and taps away on his keyboard. He’s the best assistant I’ve ever had working for me and at times, I don’t know what I’d do without him. He just gets me. 

Giggling to myself as I disappear out of sight, the elevator doors open on cue and I step inside. I don’t know where my feet are taking me right now, but I cannot sit in my office any longer. I need to think. I need to feel. I need to breathe.

Reaching the lobby, my heels click against the marble tiles beneath me as I head for the exit and onto the sidewalk. The air a little cool, I pull my blazer around my body and weave through the crowds of mid-afternoon workers taking their usual breaks for a little light shopping or late lunch. Here is the thought…Maybe I could suggest lunch to Sara? I don’t know why she would ever agree to lunch with me, but a girl has to try, right? You don’t ask, you don’t get any...

Crossing the street, a familiar storefront comes into view and I catch sight of the blonde who continues to invade my thoughts. Her finger still void of a ring, it only makes me want to pursue her even more than I did before I left my office. I’d never chase someone who was clearly unavailable, but she isn’t. She was, but not anymore. I don’t know if it was a bad break up but maybe I could take her mind off things? Maybe I could be whatever she needs right now? There I go again with my assumptions.

Here goes everything. Pushing through the heavy glass door, her head lifts and our eyes meet. That same feeling I experience when I’m in her presence hits me square in the chest and I have to compose myself before I take another step. Coughing, I clear my throat and put on my best smile. Her own slowly but surely appearing, I cross the short distance to the counter and she doesn’t once take her eyes off me.

“Usual?” Sara raises an eyebrow.

“Yes please.” I study her face as she takes a disposable cup from the stack beside her. “Oh, I’m hanging here for a little while.”

“That’s new.” She shrugs. “I usually catch a glimpse of you and then you’re gone.”

“Oh.” I narrow my eyes. “I’ll try to remember that for next time.” A smirk curling on my mouth, she drops her eyes to the cash register between us and I swear she has just taken her bottom lip between her teeth. “Maybe I should hang out here more often.”

“Wouldn’t be the worst view in the world.” She says, nonchalantly. Her baby blues are unreadable as she looks back up at me but something tells me I made the right choice in sticking around.

“Good to know.” I follow her to the opposite end of the counter, my eyes never leaving her beautiful slender body. “Wanna join me?” I ask.

“Sorry, my break isn’t for another thirty minutes,” Sara replies and I sense a little disappointment in her tone. “Maybe next time?”

“I don’t have anywhere to be.”

“I’m sure you don’t want to hang here waiting for me.” She blushes. Adorable. “You seem like a busy woman, Ava.”

“The busiest.” I sigh dramatically, rolling my eyes playfully. “But, not today.”

“I could use some company.” I love her honesty. I want her to let me in but I suspect it’s going to take more than coffee during her break to do that.

“Then I will hang out at my usual spot.”

“You don’t have a usual spot.” She deadpans.

“I do now.” Turning around with smile on my lips.

***

I could watch her forever. I’ve been waiting a little over thirty minutes for Sara to join me for coffee and I can see her rushing around behind the counter. I am willing to wait all afternoon if I have to, but I’m hoping it won’t come to that. A sudden rush of early afternoon customers seems to have hit but I’m staying right here. Where I can see her. Where I can watch her. Where I can think of her.

Every now and then I see her confidence flair up, but once her eyes find mine, it drops out. I don’t know why, but I don’t like it. Does she feel inferior to me? Does she feel second best in her life? A woman like her should never feel second best. Nobody should. Ever!

Giving me a small smile as I watch her over the rim of my coffee cup, I wink back at her and her face turns a deep shade of pink. I love the effect I have on her, but I want her over here with me. I want her in my space, laughing, and generally enjoying my company. I have all the time in the world to flirt with Sara but right now, I just want to get a feel for her as a person. Right now, I want to simply study her beautiful features and memorize them.

“Sorry.” She rushes out as she approaches me. “Crazy busy.”

“I can wait.”

“No, you’ve waited longer than acceptable.” Pulling out a seat, she sits opposite me and I can see the anxiety building in her shoulders. “So, why aren’t you working?”

“Took the afternoon off,” I say, my eyes wondering on her perfect face, her freckles and that dimpled chin.

“You can just do that?”

“Mmmm…” I sip my coffee. “I own the company, so?”

“Awesome.” Sensing that she is a little more relaxed, I watch her shift in her seat a little and make herself comfortable. “What do you do?”

“I’m in real estate.”

“Interesting.” Sara narrows her eyes. “Not what I imagined.”

“What did you imagine?” I cock my head to the side, a smile settling on my mouth.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” She breathes out. “Do you live close by?”

“5th Avenue.” Sara’s eyes widen a little and I’m not sure how she feels about that piece of information I’ve just shared. “What?” My forehead creases in confusion.

“Nothing.” Clearing her throat, those bright blue eyes lower to the table between us and I know she is closing down on me. “I should get back to work.”

“Please don’t.” I dip my head and meet her gaze. “I enjoy your company.”

“That is sweet but you and I have nothing in common, Ava. Nothing whatsoever.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Running my fingers through my hair, I sit back in my seat and create a little space between us. “Who do you think I am?”

“I don’t follow.” Sara furrows her brow. “I don’t know you so I don’t have an opinion.”

“I wish I could believe that.” Laughter rumbles in my throat. “You are holding back from me, Sara. You and I both know it.”

“I’m not holding back.” She defends. “I don’t even know why you are here giving me the time of day.”

“Let me take you to dinner.” The words leave my mouth faster than I can process them. “Please?” I know I’m wasting my time but I feel like I need an answer from her. I’ll drive myself insane if I walk away from here today without asking.

“I can’t.” Unshed tears form in her eyes. Those gorgeous eyes is suddenly filled with pain and regret. “I have a fiancée.”

“Oh.” I’m taken aback by her comment. “I thought it had ended.”

“It did, but I’m going back.” Her voice void of any emotion, something tells me that she doesn’t want to go back to her fiancée. Something in the way she talks about her ex-lover makes me wonder if she is making a big mistake. “Sorry, I should really get back to work.”

“I’m sorry for bothering you, Sara.” My hand brushes her own. “If I’d known you were still involved, I never would’ve come here today.”

“That’s okay.” She gives me a full smile. Fake, but full. “It was a spare of the moment kind of thing.”

“Your relationship is spare of the moment?” I raise an eyebrow, hoping that she will elaborate.

“I had a change of heart, is all.”

“Right.” She glances up at me through hooded eyelids. “Are you happy?”

“I hope to be.” Her answer breaks my heart but I have to step away from this. I have to remove myself from any kind of situation that could threaten her relationship. “Thank you for waiting around.”

“It’s no problem.” My own voice filled with disappointment, Sara’s hand settles on my own and my stomach tightens. Surely, she feels that spark too?

“I’m not the right person for you, Ava.” My eyes closing as I try to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall, I can’t bear to listen to her talk about herself in this way. The uncertainty. The lack of self-esteem. It saddens me. “Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”

“Wait!” I grip her hand as she tries to pull away from me. “Give me a chance.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Give me a chance to prove myself to you.” She looks at me with trepidation and I know that she is backing away faster than before. “If you’re not attracted to me then I will walk away right now, but if you are, think about it?”

“I have to go.” She tugs her hand out of my own. “You are beautiful and really very sweet but I have to go.”

Slowly nodding, I watch her walk away and my heart aches for her. My body, too. I may have just gotten myself into something I know I shouldn’t have, but she’s pulled me in. Unintentionally, she has pulled me in further than I care to admit. Damn it! Realizing that I shouldn’t be sitting here, I stand and grab my purse from the seat beside me. I can’t even look at her right now. I want to. I want to say goodbye, but I can’t. God, she is breaking my heart.

Turning my head a little, I find her watching me and it stops me in my tracks. I don’t know what I want to say to her but I feel like I should at least open my mouth and try.

“Join me for drinks tonight?”

“I can’t.” She disagrees.

“Right, yeah.” I smile, my eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Take care, Sara.”

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, I release a deep breath and head towards home. I don’t feel much like being in public right now so home is the best place for me and my thoughts. My thoughts of Sara and her skin touching my own. That spark. How she blushes in my presence. I know I’m not imagining any of this but I have to let her figure this out herself. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think happened to Sara and what is going on in that beautiful head of hers?


	3. Nobody should be alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a roller coaster ride of emotions for Sara. She wants to put an end to her past relationship with Nyssa so she could start fresh and focus on herself for her own good. 
> 
> Will the universe agree with her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A gentle reminder that you have to at least get to Chapter 10 before things will get better. And I promise it will get better.

SARA LANCE

Tossing and turning, I didn’t sleep much last night. Something about my encounter with Ava has been tugging at my mind and I found myself restless until the sun began to rise. I am generally a good sleeper, but I guess things have just gotten on top of me lately and now it’s beginning to show in my routine.

I really don’t need anything else on my mind right now, but that’s just me. Never content with only having one issue in my life. It is one of my biggest downfalls. My mind stirs up all kinds of unnecessary thoughts at the most inappropriate times. I am good at coping though, but I don’t need Ava invading my every thought. When I close my eyes all I see is her and those grey blue eyes. How they glistened as I blew her off. How they seemed a little duller than before. I don’t need her disturbing my sleep. It’s the only time I feel at one with myself and I really don’t need Ava with me for that.

This is Zari’s fault. Yep! I blame it all on her. She is the one who stirred up my feelings for Ava last week. When I told her there was nothing between us, she wouldn’t drop it. She knows I’m in a bad place right now, but damn she’s persistent. I know she only wants me to be happy. I love that about her but now isn’t the right time. I’m still a complete mess. The last thing I need right now is a relationship. The one I’ve just ended has left me feeling like a coward and I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m tired of feeling like a failure. Not good enough. I’m tired of love. It only hurts, anyway.

I am filled with regrets and I should’ve been upfront with Nyssa. We need to talk about our relationship and give her the opportunity to decide where we were going. I don’t believe there is anything between us anymore, but she may have wanted to try harder? I told Ava I was going back to my fiancée and I meant it. I feel like I have to try again. I feel like I should at least stop by and see her. You know, check on how she is doing? Maybe I’ve been a little hasty in my decision to leave? I should go home to her. I should go home to what I know. Nobody deserves to be walked out on so I have to fix this. I have to try.

Climbing from the soft mattress of Zari’s guest bed, I pull an oversized sweater over my body and make my way out into the kitchen. The smell of fresh coffee hitting my senses, my shoulders relax and my best friend glances up at me. Her usual spiked hair wild from sleep.

“Thought you’d never show.” Her dark eyes focusing back on the newspaper in front of her, I head for the kitchen counter. “Did you sleep well?”

“No, I barely slept at all.”

“Wanna talk about it?” She suggests, her paper now settled flat on the marble surface.

“Thanks, but I’m going to shower and get out of here.” My fingers curl around the warming porcelain cup I’ve just filled. “I have a lot going on my mind right now, is all.”

“I know.” She gives me a sympathetic smile. “You need a fresh start, Sara.”

“I’m thinking of going back to the apartment.” My honesty causes a flash of concern in my friend's eyes but I have to be upfront with her. “I feel like I’ve done this all wrong.”

“What about the mysterious blonde?” She asks, her brow furrowed.

“What about her?” A slight laugh rumbles in my throat. “I told you last week that nothing would ever come of that, Zari.”

“What the hell has that evil woman done to you that you cannot see how Ava looks and appreciates you?”

“Zari please.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Ava doesn’t look at me like anything. We’ve been through this.” She doesn’t know about the encounter I had with Ava yesterday and honestly, I’m not sure I want to tell her. It will only encourage her to push me towards Ava.

“You really are deluded if you cannot see it.” My friend shakes her head in disappointment. “That woman cannot take her eyes off you.”

“You really see it?” My nose wrinkling, Zari simply gives me a nod in agreement. “When? How?”

“I don’t know when and how it really started but it’s becoming a common theme at the coffee shop.”

“I’m sure you’re reading way too much into this.” Waving off her comment and her supposed observations, I sip on my coffee and a silence falls between us both.

I don’t know the first thing about women or even men anymore. At least, not like I used to. In all honesty, I feel as though I’m living in a totally different world to everyone else lately and I don’t like it. I don’t like it because I feel out of place and I’m not sure what the singles of New York want anymore. Do they just want fun and a good time? A one night stand, if you will. Is Ava one of those who only wants to have fun?

Well, that’s not for me because I want love. A pair of arms wrapped around me each night. Curling up with a good book or movie. Dinner whenever the mood takes us. I’m just not sure I’ll ever find it. It’s hard to imagine when the one person you thought you would spend your life with turns out to be the bitch from hell. I know I shouldn’t speak about Nyssa like that, but it’s exactly what she is. Ava could be different. Geez Lance, will you stop thinking about her. 

I should go home and back to what I know. It’s the right thing to do. We are supposed to be planning our wedding. Yeah, I should go home. My mom would never forgive me for just walking away and right now, I’m not sure I could forgive myself, either. I haven’t even called Laurel. I am not sure I am ready for the interrogation.

“Right, I’m going home,” I say with a determination in my voice.

“Lance, you’re making a huge mistake,” Zari says as her deep brown eyes fix on the wooden counter between us. “The biggest.”

“Maybe, but you can be the first to say ‘I told you so’.” Heading for the bathroom, a quick shower will do me the world of good. Then...I can be on my way.

***

When I reached my old home, I took my key from my purse and slip it into the lock. I know Nyssa is home. Her car is parked out front but I don’t know how I’m going to be greeted. I doubt it will be with open arms, but that’s on me. It’s my own fault for leaving and I’ve probably just created a bigger mess between us. I’m sure Nyssa will make me aware of that. She always does.

Why is it that I always put the blame on myself? I roll my eyes and internally chastise my thoughts. Turning my key in the lock, I push the door open and step inside. As always, the apartment holds nothing but silence. That coldness is still lingering too. 

I set my purse down on a table close to the door and glance around. At least she didn’t trash the place this time. That is usually her go-to method for coping with our issues. I am always the one that is left to clear up the mess. Scoffing to myself when I find the place in order, I’m beginning to wonder if maybe Nyssa has realized the mistakes she has made in our relationship. I doubt it, but a girl can hope, right?

The sound of the bathroom door opening, I hold my breath and prepare for the inevitable onslaught I’m about to face. Shifting uncomfortably from left to right, I don’t have a good feeling about being here. I know I shouldn’t be here and this is a huge mistake. Zari was right. I’m trying to center myself but it’s hard when Nyssa is around. She makes me feel uneasy. I never know what is coming in situations like this. I never know how to talk things out with her.

“Well, well, didn’t expect to see you back.” She scoffs as she ties her robe tighter around her body.

“Figured we had some things to discuss.”

“Like...how you left me again?” As always, I’m the issue. I don’t know why I bother.

“No.” I laugh. “Like, how I am not happy in this relationship anymore.”

“I fail to see why.” Nyssa shrugs as she moves a little closer to me. “I give you everything you want. A home. Wealth. Love.”

“Love?” I raise an eyebrow. “When? I must have missed that.”

“Don’t.” Nyssa holds up her hands, her eyes trailing my body with complete disgust. “I’ve given you everything you could ever want. Even when you added a few pounds and become lazy working out, I still loved you.”

“Wow, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.” A sadness settles inside me.

“We belong together. You ought to realize that. Before me, you have nothing.” Her words are cold and I don’t like where this is going. I don’t like her tone. “Nobody would take you on.”

“Excuse me?” I scoff. “Maybe I don’t want someone who will take me on. Maybe I just want a normal relationship.”

“And what exactly do you call this?” Nyssa gives me an incredulous look. I don’t have any words to describe our relationship. I always come up short in that department.

“A joke, a cruel joke.” I spit as I move away from her and take my purse from the table. “And this time I’m leaving the keys.” Throwing them her way, they drop at Nyssa’s feet and she simply smiles. “You really think I can’t live without you?”

“I don’t think, honey. I know.” I hate how Nyssa was so confident of it.

“Wow, you’re just so sure of yourself, huh?”

“Always have been, Sara.” She gives me a wink, a smug smile settling on her mouth. “Don’t ever forget that.” Realizing that this conversation is over, I head out of the front door and into the hallway. If Nyssa thinks I’ll ever return, she is sadly mistaken.

I am deeply hurt and she has only reinforced my hate for her this morning. Our relationship is without a doubt over. I refuse to be someone’s servant. I refuse to bow down to her to please her. To make her feel better. She can go to hell as far as I’m concerned. I may not be good enough for Ava, but I’d be better off alone than staying here for the sake of it.

Without thinking, I slammed the door shut, I’ve never been more thankful that her apartment is at ground level. I don’t have time for elevators right now and I certainly don’t have the patience for them. I need to leave this place the sooner the better before I crumble. Not because I’m sad, but because I’m furious. Furious usually means tears for me and I’m so close to that so I must avoid it. I don’t want any more tears because of my ex-fiancée. I just want to move forward and take the next step in my life. One that doesn’t include Nyssa.

With all dignity that I can muster, my pace holding nothing but pure determination, I cross the street and head for the coffee shop. Zari will know what to do and I am fully expecting a smug look on her face when I arrive. She told me I was making a mistake and she told me not to go back to my old place, but I am my own worst enemy at times. Now is clearly one of those times. Me and my stubbornness.

Reaching the calming setting of the coffee shop, I push the door open but I’m blocked by a body in front of me. A familiar body. A familiar scent. One that usually sends my heart racing and my pulse pounding in my ears. Ava. Her front is pressed against my own and everything is moving slower than I would like it to be.

“Sorry,” I mumble as I attempt to move past her.

“Sara you’ve been crying.” She holds up her hands and continues to body block me.

“No, just the cool air. It plays with my eyes.” You are terrible Lance.

“Oh right! Are you sticking with that, or?” She gives me a genuine smile but I don’t want her to see me like this. I feel vulnerable and this isn’t me. At least, it wasn’t at some point in my life. “Sara?”

“Huh?” I pull myself from my own thoughts and I’m met with the most incredible grey blue eyes I’ve ever seen. “Sorry, what?”

“Do you want coffee? I’m buying.” Ava offered.

“Thanks, but I’m sure you’re busy.”

“I’m free right now.” Is that my cue to say yes? I want to but this is only going to make things worse. My mood is already low and I know the moment Ava starts showing an interest in me and saying all of the right things, I will crumble. “I’m not taking no for an answer.” Ava said firmly

Without another word, my body is suddenly being pulled through the coffee shop and towards an empty table at the back of the room. I’m finding it hard to keep my eyes off Ava right now. She just oozes class and sophistication and I’m still at a loss as to why she even notices me. And her hands touching me is doing something in my body.

“What are you having?”

“Cappuccino, thank you.” Giving Ava a small smile, her own curls on her mouth and I can’t help but notice how genuine it seems. It is making me feel good right now and that is what matters, right? Feeling a little happy isn’t something I should avoid but it’s hard not to. Everyone is happy until they get hurt. I am no different. I know exactly where this will go if I get too close to Ava.

“Why were you upset?” She takes a seat facing me and shifts a little, setting down two Cappuccinos between us.

“Why are you so interested in my life?” I shoot back. That was rude.

“Because you’re intriguing.” Giving me a slight shrug of the shoulders, I furrow my brow and Ava studies my face. “Interesting, beautiful... I could go on but I know that isn’t what you want.”

“And I’m sure you say that to all of the ladies.” Rolling my eyes, Ava leans back and sinks into her seat. “I’m sorry, I’m not in a good place right now.” 

“I can see that.” She sips her coffee and nods her head slightly. “That is why I’m here sitting with you right now. To help.”

“I don’t follow…”

“A shoulder. An ear. Whatever it is that you need.” And there it is. ‘Whatever you need’. She wants sex. She wants a one night stand. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, though. Isn’t that what they all want? No strings attached. A little fun. Or I am just getting ahead of myself?

“What is it that you think I need?” I raise an eyebrow, my tone a little harsh.

“A friend, maybe? Someone who you can talk things out with?” That’s sweet and here I am thinking she will only take advantage of my vulnerability.

“A friend would be good right now.” I toy with my coffee cup, Ava’s scent cocooning me. “Maybe a personality transplant, too?”

“I’m sure that’s not what you need.” Her features soften. “Seems pretty perfect to me.”

“Why are you here?” I breathe out. I don’t like to be rude to people but if she thinks she is taking me to bed, she is sadly mistaken.

“You want the truth?”

“Yes.” I sigh. “Please…”

“I watch you.” She clears her throat. “Every time I’m here, I cannot take my eyes off you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know exactly and I can’t even understand it sometimes...but” Ava releases a deep breath. “I’m drawn to you. Maybe attracted to you too. And definitely intrigued by you.”

“Yeah, well you should really look elsewhere, Ava. I’m not worth the headspace.”

“Okay, so answer me one question and I will leave you alone.”

“Shoot.” I drop my gaze to the coffee cup in my hand. “Whatever you want to know.”

“Why are you so hard on yourself?” I didn't expect that from her. I know I’m hard on myself but it comes so naturally lately.

“It’s just how it’s always been.” I sip my coffee. “It’s easier that way.”

“What is?” Ava has confusion written all over her face. “What is easier?”

“The hurt.” I sigh. “Less chance of having your heart broken if you don’t put yourself out there.”

“So, you don’t want a relationship?” Ava seems shocked and I’m beginning to wonder if she has ever been told no before. I’m also wondering if she really heard anything I’ve said to her since we met.

“Right now, no.” I grip my cup and I’m sure it’s ready to smash in my hands. “I’ve just ended a bad one so I’m better off alone. Concentrating on myself.”

“That sucks.” Ava seems disappointed. “Nobody should be alone, Sara.”

“Maybe, but I think I am destined to be alone.” I’d like to believe that maybe I am just being hard on myself, but Nyssa is all I’ve known for the best part of five years and she is the best I could’ve ever hoped for. Even she finds me too hard to love so what’s the point? What is the point in putting myself out there when I will only end up hurt and alone again? This made Ava sigh.

“A few of us are hitting some bars tonight.” Ava pulled a pen and started writing her number on the napkin and put it down in front of me. “You should come.”

“Thanks but I’m not much of a drinker.”

“Then I’ll treat you to water.” Her lips curl into a smile and her eyes brighten. “Just think about it, okay?”

“Sure.” It’s easier to just agree with Ava since she has trouble accepting the word no. This woman is unfazed by rejection.

“Call me, okay?” She stands and straightens herself out a little.

“Will do.” Watching as she leaves the space we have just been sharing, I sink back into my seat and close my eyes.

I can’t help the thoughts running in my head. Why do I find it so hard to just go with it? Why can’t I just be like every other woman in New York and take whatever I can get? Because that’s not me. My internal thoughts reminding me that I’m not one of those women, I push my coffee away and stand.

“Ava!” She turns back to face me, and I’m suddenly wondering why I’ve called her back. “Why are you giving me your time and attention? I mean, why now?”

“Because.” She moves a little closer to me, her scent sending me dizzy. “You are no longer wearing a ring.” I can see the honesty in those grey blue eyes.

“And so?”

“So, I’m not the type of woman who goes after those who are already taken Sara, and unless I’ve missed something, you are no longer taken.” Wow, I got her totally wrong.

“O-Oh.”

“Maybe I’ll see you tonight, but I don’t expect a call.” Her presence disappearing, I’m suddenly feeling the loss of contact between us. She certainly has a way with words, I’ll give her that.

Something inside of me is telling me to get to know this woman but then something else pulls me back into my fears and insecurities. Something is pushing me and pulling me and I don’t know how to begin working through it. It’s been so long since someone has been attracted to me and honestly, I’m not sure I can be what she needs. I know I’m a good person and I know I have a huge heart, but is that enough? Ava is making me feel good, but how long could that possibly last?

“Ahhmmm....Are you just going to just stand in the middle of this coffee shop all day?” Startled from my thoughts, I turn around to find Zari standing behind me, her arms folded across her chest. “Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Are you going to take her up on the offer of drinks?” She gives me one of her signature smirks. The smirk that tells me she knows me too well. The smirk that tells me she knows I’ve got it bad. The smirk that will one day become the bane of my freaking existence. “I know nothing good came from going back to Nyssa.” Here it comes. My ‘I told you so’ moment.

“No, I’m not.” I clear my throat. “I have to work on myself before I even think about dating, Zari.” 

“But you see how she looks at you, right?”

“No, I do-“

“If you even think about finishing that sentence, I’m going to kick your ass.” She gives me a hard glare. “When will you stop denying all of this? If it feels good, go with it.”

“It does feel good.” I sigh, my eyes focusing on the floor between us. “It feels too good. And that is the problem”

“Then go get back to my place and make yourself look hot for tonight.” Choosing to ignore the last portion of what I said, she throws me a wink. “You know, what is about to happen is a D-A-T-E.”

“Oh, it’s not.” I disagree. “It’s drinks with her people from the office.”

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that.” Zari rolls her eyes then laughs. “Maybe if you stick with what you are feeling rather than what you are overthinking, you will actually make it out of the door tonight.”

“I’m not going, Zari.” I grab my purse and pull my best friend into a hug. “I’m going to your place and I’m going to do some much needed relaxing for the evening.”

“Awesome.” She rolls her eyes once again. “You do that. I’ll be home in a few hours.” Zari releasing a sigh.

“Sure, yeah.” I head for the exit. “See you tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Sara will let the invitation pass or will she give in?
> 
> Thank you for still hanging around.


	4. As friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava left the ball on Sara's court whether to accept her invitation or not. She is still very much intrigue of her especially on what happened to her relationship with Nyssa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A gentle reminder that you have to at least get to Chapter 10 before things will get better. And I promise it will get better.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos, comments and for paying a visit in here for the updates. Your support warms my heart and boost my confidence to continue working on this.

AVA SHARPE

I cannot control it but Sara is driving me insane. She is all I think about and I don’t know why I keep thinking about her when she constantly rejects me. My mind has different ideas though because I can picture her smile and her gorgeous hair. The smell of her perfume is imprinted on me. I’d like to believe that she thinks about me too, but I know she doesn’t. I know that it is just wishful thinking on my part and that just makes this all the more painful.

Knowing that she isn’t attracted to me makes me feel like I’m wasting my time and honestly, I don’t know why I’m sitting on my couch thinking about her. God, I’m thinking about her so hard right now. Her harsh words should’ve made it clear for me to back down and not further pursue. This is all going to end in disaster, but what if it doesn’t? What if it turns out to be something kinda beautiful?

Everything in my life seems crazy right now, but I think it’s a good kind of crazy. I think it’s a healthy kind of crazy. I haven’t thought about another woman this hard in a long time so I know just how much Sara has got to me. I know that this isn’t me trying to get another lay. I know that this is different and Sara is different.

Yes, I’m not proud of the person I used to be but we’re only human, right? We all crave that intimacy and that ecstasy with another person and I am no different to the next woman. Of course, I would prefer to be settled down at home every night with the woman I dearly love, but life never works out that way. Life never gives you what you want. It seems that I already hit that point in my life where I want to settle down with someone who would love me as me, all of me. 

I may have everything…but love is not on my side and I’m beginning to wonder if it ever will be. It doesn’t feel that way right now. Sitting here in my expensive home. The home I worked my ass off for. No, it doesn’t feel like I’ll ever truly have the one thing I believe we all need in our lives. Love. That connection that sends a shiver down your spine and the happiness that tugs your heart even when things get bad.

I don’t know why I see that with Sara when I close my eyes, but I do and it’s really beginning to become a problem. It’s affecting everything I do. It’s affecting my sleep and my routine and no, I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling out of control where my life is concerned. I just want her to open up to me. I just want to spend some time with her and get a feel for who she is as a person. I am not pushing her to love me. I can settle for friendship if only she will give me a chance to know her. Is it too much?

I have this feeling that is way beyond me and kinda preposterous but I know that I would love everything about Sara. It scares me sometimes. For now, let us stick to the facts that she doesn’t feel comfortable around me and she doesn’t look at me the way I know I look at her. I’ve tried to avoid watching her and I’ve tried to push her from my mind but I fail every time. I fail and then I’m back to the beginning thinking about her and wishing she was here. Everything about Sara sends my body and mind into overdrive but it’s one-sided, I understand that.

I understand that she isn’t ready for a relationship and I understand that even if she was, I’m not the one for her. I thought I felt a connection with her. When her skin touched my own. When her hand fit so perfectly in mine. I felt the connection but perhaps Sara didn’t. I wish things could’ve been different. I really do but I cannot change the time and circumstances of how we've met.

My brow creases when my phone decided to interrupt my musings. I lean forward in my seat and took it in both hands on my coffee table, my heart stops. It’s her. Sara. I want to pinch myself. I read her simple message perhaps a dozen times. Be still and breathe Sharpe.

Time and place for drinks? – Sara

Oh, wow! Shit! Is she serious right now? I mean, is she genuinely going to show up or is she playing some kind of game? I’d like to think that she wouldn’t do that to me, but I’m so unsure about how she feels around me that I’m suddenly becoming a little wary.

Eightish. Corner of 9th. Are you familiar with Todd’s? – Ava

I am. See you then. – Sara

I’m glad you changed your mind. – Ava

It’s just drinks, right? – Sara

Of course. – Ava

Feeling a little disheartened by Sara’s doubting words, I decide that it is something better than nothing. If I have to show her that I’m not the woman she seems to think I am. She may never open up to me, but I was raised to persevere and never give up. I’ve never wanted to try harder with anything or anyone in my life as I do right now. She’s something kinda special. 

Deciding that I’ll enjoy a glass of wine while I soak in the tub, I make my way slowly through my open plan home. This place is beautiful and everything I ever imagined I’d own, but it’s a little lonely here. It’s lonely and my home deserves to be shared with someone else. Someone who makes my heart pound hard in my chest. Someone who makes my face hurt when I smile. That someone can be Sara. Those eyes…

I pour myself a healthy measure of red. I try to breathe through this intense feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. It’s not a feeling of fear but it is definitely a feeling of apprehension. A feeling of not knowing what this evening will bring. I’ve never been nervous or anxious when it comes to meeting women, but right now, I am. I am nervous because I don’t want to do anything to make Sara run to the hills. I don’t want her to have an awful night with me.

I’m usually good at wooing and flirting, but something about the mysterious blonde with the dimpled chin leaves me feeling a little unsure of myself. I want to spend my evening with Sara but I’ve got to be honest, I haven’t told her the complete truth about tonight. When I invited her for drinks earlier today, it was borderline verbal diarrhea. I told her I was joining friends, but I wasn’t. Sure, I could call a few of them and ask them to help me out but if this is ever going to become something more, I should probably head to Todd’s bar tonight and be honest with her. I didn’t intentionally lie to get her there, but whatever it was...it worked.

This may all go wrong and I’ll end up leaving looking like a fool but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. It’s a risk I believe I have to take. I’m a good person. I’m loving and loyal. I’m willing to do anything to help those that I care about. Maybe she just doesn’t see that yet, I don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t see the real me behind the expensive tailored suit and the knowledge of where I live. She probably thinks I’m the average rich bitch. 

***

I have so much to give, but I’m beginning to doubt myself. Surely there is a reason Sara doesn’t want to be with me and all our interactions are beginning to play on my mind. It has been since I sunk down in my bathtub and allowed my thoughts to run away with themselves. Typical me. Never happy just going with the moment. Well, that’s a lie. Usually, I’m perfectly fine with just going with the moment. 

Sara is different and she’s beautiful and yeah…I have to get this right. I cannot mess this up. It means too much to me. I don’t understand how that even happened since I don’t know that much about her, but I knew the moment my eyes landed on her that she was someone worth knowing. That feeling has only heightened since I finally plucked up the courage to speak to her.

Pushing the heavy glass door of Todd’s bar open, I give myself a second or two to calm myself, my breathing and my pounding heart. I know that Sara is going to look beautiful but that look isn’t reserved for me. She isn’t my lady. As she so bluntly put it, it’s just drinks. God, I wish it were so much more than that. I wish that we’re on a date.

Maybe in time Sharpe. I’m trying to stay positive and I’m trying to see the good in all of this but my mind is playing with me tonight and I don’t have time for it. I want to give Sara my full attention. I want to give her everything she deserves. I don’t quite know what that entails just yet. If she needs a friend, then I will be that for her.

Lifting my gaze, I scan the room and find her waiting for me, sitting up on a barstool. Okay, she looks incredible. Checking myself out before I take another step, I may have dressed up a little tonight, but so has she. Clearing my throat a little since it seems to have run dry, I step up beside her and nudge her shoulder.

“Hey there…” I smile.

“Oh, hi.” She returns a half smile of her own. “I can’t believe you actually showed up on time.”

“Was I not supposed to?”

“Yeah, just…Nobody usually does.”

“Maybe I’m not like the others,” I say, nonchalantly. “Who knows…but… I want to start things right…” 

“Speaking of that…I have a confession to make.” The stunning blonde turns and faces me fully after interrupting my own admission. “I didn’t actually text you tonight.”

“O…kay.”

“Zari did.” Sara sighs. “Told me I couldn’t back out.”

“And do you want to back out?” I ask, my eyes studying her face. “I don’t want you to be here if you don’t want to be or is it me?” I will always give Sara her freedom to choose on what’s good for her. 

“I don’t know…”

“Maybe I should just leave.” I attempt to turn but she stops me. I give her some kind of half smile. “Sara don’t do this if it’s not what you want.”

“Do what?” Her brow furrows in confusion. 

“Spend the evening with me.”

“You mean you and your friends, right?” Her mouth curls into a slight smirk.

“No.” I focus on the bar in front of me. “That’s the thing I’m supposed to bring up before you interrupted me. I didn’t know how else to get you to accept the invitation, so I lied.”

“You did, huh?”

“I’m sorry.” A sudden panic courses through my body and I feel awful. “It wasn’t my intention to be dishonest with you Sara.”

“Okay.” She takes her wine glass between her gorgeous full lips. “What are you drinking?”

“Wait…you’re staying?”

“I guess so.” Sara nods. “It’s just drinks, right?”

“R-Right.” I nod slowly, not entirely sure what the hell is going on right now. “Glass of Cabernet would be great.”

“Coming right up.” Sara gives me a soft smile. “Maybe we could take this to a table?”

“Let me take care of that for us.” Slipping from my stool, my eyes scan the room and I’m thankful when my eyes landed on an empty table towards the back of the bar. I’m not trying to hide away, but I do want a little privacy. “The window okay for you?”

“Oh, um…sure.” Sara purses her lips together and smiles at me, uncertainty evident in her intense eyes.

“You’re sure?” I try to read her. “We can take another table if you want.”

“No, the window is good.” She hands me my glass of Cabernet.

“Thank you.” I help her down from her stool, my hand in her own. So soft.

Guiding Sara through the bar, my hand finds the small of her back. I hold my breath and expect her to pull away but she doesn’t. Okay, I cannot get a read on this woman. Damn. Maybe I shouldn’t read too much into it. Maybe I shouldn’t think too hard about this. Just go with it. Go with it and see where this night will lead.

“You look incredibly beautiful tonight,” I say, still somewhat wary of what this is between us.

“I can dress up when I want to.” Sara’s lips curl slightly. “I don’t live in that nasty grey uniform.”

“No.” My eyes find hers. “No, you don’t.”

“What is this?” Sara toys with her glass. “This invitation.”

“I just wanted to get to know you.” My admission causing an anxiety to settle in the pit of my stomach, I’m not sure I should’ve said that. “As friends.”

“Alright.” Her glass rests on her perfectly full bottom lip. “Are you always so persistent with your friends?”

“Depends.” My elbow rests on the table between us and my head falls into the palm of my hand. “None of my friends are as beautiful as you are.” She blushes. 

“I’m sure that isn’t true.”

“And I’m sure it is,” I say with total confidence.

“Tell me…”

“Tell you what?” My forehead creases.

“Something. Anything.”

“About me?” I point to my chest with my thumb and Sara nods. “I’m not sure there is anything interesting to say.”

“That can’t possibly be true.” Sara disagrees, her head shaking slightly.

“How about you tell me what you think you know about me?”

“I don’t know anything about you.”

“Exactly.” I sip my wine, the burn traveling down my throat and sending a slight rush through my entire body. “Yet you assume that we couldn’t possibly date?”

“This is just drinks, Ava.” I let it slide.

“You said you were going back to her.” I take my bottom lip between my teeth and study Sara’s face intently. “Did that happen?”

“That is none of your business.” She holds up her hand. “We’re not here to discuss my personal life.”

“Of course not.” I nod slowly. “I just wish things could’ve been different.”

“Different, how?”

“That we could have met under better circumstances so you would see me.” I release a short sigh. “That you would notice me.”

“Oh, I notice you.” Does she? She has a strange way of showing it.

“But it’s not enough, right?”

“Ava, you are really great…”

“But?” I arch my eyebrow, a sadness settling within me.

“We’re worlds apart.” Her eyes landing on the table between us, Sara’s shoulders slump a little and it only intensifies what I’m feeling right now. I hate that lack of confidence and that she feels inferior to me. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” I blow out a deep breath. “I think you’re really great too.” Yes! I think you are amazing so please stop belittling yourself. I stopped myself from saying that out loud.

“Thank you.”

“I guess it’s just a coffee occasionally kinda friendship then?…”

“I’d like that.” A genuine smile forming on Sara’s mouth, my heart rate increases a little. “You know, I should probably head home soon.”

“You live close by?” I ask.

“Few blocks away.”

“May I walk you?”

“I guess so.” Sara agrees. “I’m in between places right now.”

“Mmmm…” I finish my wine and set my glass down. “So you didn’t figure things out with her?”

“How about... we take that walk?” Sara breathes out, ending the discussion I was desperately trying to start so I could phish for some information on what happened to her last relationship. “If the offer is still there…”

“Of course.” I will take what I can get tonight. Friendship it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can Ava help Sara regain her confidence? Do you think Sara will now let Ava in or will she shy away from her?


	5. Can you not do that?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been almost a week since Sara last saw Ava and she fears that she really pushed her away this time. As Ava continuously plagues her thoughts, she got an unexpected visitor and a dinner invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your support amazes me. I am grateful for the kudos and comments that you leave.
> 
> Again and again, a gentle reminder that you have to at least get to Chapter 10 before things will get better. And I promise it will get better.

SARA LANCE

I am a little wary and I can’t think straight right now. It’s been almost a week since Ava came into the coffee shop with her invitation for drinks and the few days after that left me in fear that I won’t see her anymore. Our last encounter was at the bar and I suspect she has changed her coffee shop…most likely, again. Who can blame her? I’ve blown her off and I have been more than unfriendly with her on more than one occasion. Even though we enjoyed a drink together, I still ended the evening quickly and said goodnight kind of abruptly. She doesn’t have time for that. She doesn’t have time for any back and forth with me. I know nothing would ever happen between us but the thought of something might felt good. I appreciate that she has backed off, but I won’t lie, I miss seeing her around here. I kept glancing on her spot now. 

If I will be honest, I miss watching her walk through the door with that confident stride she has. How it just oozes from her. How her curls bounce as her hips sway so majestically. I know that if she doesn’t come in here, I can get over the feelings I have for her. If she doesn’t come in here, Zari will no longer push her remarks on Ava’s interest in me. 

Going about my usual routine with my customers, I take their orders and hand them over to the other staff to prepare and complete them. I only have an hour left of my shift but today has been slower than ever before. I know why time is standing still lately but I refuse to acknowledge it. I refuse to believe that it has anything to do with a particular blonde who no longer comes by. The blonde with grey blue eyes who told me I looked incredibly beautiful and great right before I walked away. Never to see her again. What exactly do you want from her Lance? She will not stay when all you do is push her away.

“Good afternoon, Sara.” One of my regular customers steps up to the counter and gives me a smile.

“Ray, hi. What can I get for you today?”

“Oh, you know me. Same old.”

“One Americano coming right up.” Handing his cup over to Zari, he moves down the counter and waits for his order.

“You seem different.” He narrows his eyes. “Life treating you well?”

“Better than usual, yes.” I give him a wink and he blushes a little. He’s been coming into the shop every day for the best part of two years and he’s kinda sweet. “You take care, okay?”

“Only if you do, too.”

“I promise.” Giving him a small wave, I prepare for my next customer and the line lessens a little. Glancing up, I find my ex standing in front of me and I’m a little taken aback. “What can I get you?”

“Cappuccino.” Nyssa clears her throat. “And dinner with you tonight.” Typical Nyssa. More of a demand than an invitation.

“I’m busy.” I hate how she does that. Catches me off guard and corners me. She knows we cannot have this discussion right now. Not with customers around. “Your order will be ready in a few minutes.”

“You’re finishing soon, right?” Her gaze is fixed on me. 

“Depends. We’re kinda short on staff today.” That’s a lie.

“That’s okay. I can wait around.” Nyssa gives me one of her smiles. “I think it will be worth it.”

“I think you’re wasting your time.” Zari comes up behind me and silently reminds me that she has my back. “We have customers. If you could move along?”

“Sure. I’ll just hang over here.” Throwing her thumb over her shoulder, I roll my eyes and hope that this shift drags on a little longer. Nyssa will get tired of waiting if I can draw it out. God, I hope she does.

“Does she ever take no for an answer?” Zari asks quite irritated.

“Nope she does not. Never.” Sighing, I shake my head. “Can you take over here? I want her gone before I leave.”

“Sure. I will be here if you need me Sara.” I appreciate Zari’s concern.

Rounding the counter, I head for the table that my ex-fiancée is about to take a seat at and drop down in the chair facing her. Damn her! This is Ava’s spot. She gives me one of her adorable smiles, but they don’t work on me anymore. They haven’t for a while now.

“Please have dinner with me tonight?” And now I am getting a ‘please’.

“Why?” I laugh. “Why would you possibly want to spend time with me?”

“Because I miss you.”

“No Nyssa, you just miss having someone to insult and control.” I gave her a hard stare and she drops her gaze to the table between us. Her fingers toying with her coffee cup.

“Look Sara, I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you. Just please, give me one more chance.”

“I think we’re already out of chances, Nyssa. You know that.” I am trying my hardest not to give in.

“Come on honey, let me make it up to you? If you still don’t want me, you can walk away.” All of a sudden, she remembers to use our old endearment.

“It was never about me not wanting you.” I give her a look of total confusion. “All I wanted was you.”

“Then why did you leave?” She asks. “I don’t understand.”

“I can’t take the insults anymore. You are really wearing me down.”

“I’m sorry. You know that I have issues and I’m trying to address them. ” She gives me a small smile. “I need you by my side to do that, though.”

“I don’t know anymore Nyssa.” I’m genuinely torn right now. “I think you need to do this alone.”

“No, I need you with me. All I need is you, Sara.”

“Maybe we should just share coffee now instead of grabbing dinner together.”

“Why?” She furrows her brow. “How is that any different?”

“Because I don’t want to get your hopes up.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. “You don’t want me. You don’t love me.”

“I do Sara. I love everything about you.” That is such a lie and she knows it.

“If you do, then name one thing?”

“No, I’m not sitting here with you and listing what I love about you when you should just be at home, in my arms. I’m not doing that.”

“So, it’s gone from dinner to wanting me home?” I asked with confusion probably showing on my face. 

“I’ll always want you at home with me.” Glancing back, I find Zari watching me and I know that this is all totally wrong. Wrong, but it’s also my normal. 

“Fine.” I sigh. “Tonight. Seven. Usual place.”

“You won’t regret it.” She gives me one of her best smiles. “I’m trying, Sara. I promise.”

“Sure.” My chair screeching as I stand, I move away from my ex and give her a smile. “See you tonight, Nyssa.” I agreed but my head and my heart are screaming at me. And there back on my mind is Ava, taking residence on my thoughts.

***

All of this is completely wrong and definitely a bad idea. I know I’m setting and exposing myself up to being hurt again, but I don’t know what else to do. Nyssa has this way of drawing you in, and once she does, it’s harder than you imagine getting out of it. She knows how to control me, and I’m letting her. Foolishly, I’m letting her. I only have myself to blame, but I guess it’s better than spending the rest of my life single and alone. Maybe it’s not, but I feel as though I have to try. Again.

She said that she is trying to address her issues. I have to try to help her be better. Maybe even convince her to have professional help too. I don’t have anyone else in my life right now, I suppose it makes sense to try this with her. This is the last time, though. The first sign that her old self makes an appearance, I’m gone. Faster than ever before.

Checking myself out in a store window, I’m not entirely sure why I’m bothering with my appearance. She will only find a reason to criticize it anyway. That’s how it usually goes. I can’t remember anymore when Nyssa appreciated my looks. But satisfied that I feel good in myself, I push through a familiar restaurant door and approach the bar. I’m a little early, but that’s normal for me. I like to give myself a few minutes before a date just to calm my nerves and take in the surroundings. Get a vibe for the place. 

Getting comfortable, I start glancing around, I find a few familiar faces from our neighborhood. Everyone seems happy and busying themselves with the company they have for the evening, but something tells me I won’t be one of those people. Maybe I’m thinking too much into it, but I’m expecting tonight will go how it always does. Time can only tell, I guess.

I placed an order for drinks and the bartender moves around preparing our cocktails when I hear the bell above the door. Alerting me to the new presence, I glance over and find Nyssa approaching me. She looks great but she always does. I’ve always been the type of person who compliments their date and this time won’t be any different. I just like to make people feel good about themselves. It makes me feel good in turn. Whoa, this isn’t a date Lance.

“Wow.” I breathe out as her scent hits me. “You look amazing Nyssa.”

“Hi.” Placing a kiss below my ear, Nyssa steps back and takes in my appearance. “You look beautiful.” Maybe I am all wrong. Perhaps she is really trying.

“Thank you.” Almost choking on the acceptance of her compliment, I’m beginning to wonder if she really has changed. Or changing, at least.

“Should I ask about our table?” She says as I hand over her cocktail.

“Sure.” Sipping on my drink, I watch her approach one of the staff and he directs her to our table. Waving me over I take my purse from the bar and head towards Nyssa. “Nice spot.” I smile as I take a seat facing her.

“Your favorite?” She chances. 

“Mmmm.” I gave her a slight nod as I peruse the menu, I can feel her eyes on me. Watching and waiting for my choice of food for the evening.

“See anything you like?”

“Maybe the pasta.” Shrugging as I work my way down the menu, I glance up at her and I can see her biting her lip. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” She holds up her hands. “Just undecided.”

“Just choose what’s good.” I smile. “Don’t think about it so much okay.”

Setting down my menu, I’m about to truly test her. She is very particular about the food she puts in her body, and it turns out, she’s very particular about my choices, too. At the beginning of our relationship, she would simply ask me and go along with my choices. Then it started to change. She would comment on what I eat and later on, she would make the choices on what I should eat. 

When the waiter returned to our table, I gave him my order of pasta and focaccia bread. Nyssa clears her throat and orders a salad and it takes everything I have within me not to laugh. Of course, she will order a salad.

“Thank you.” Taking the menu from me, she hands them over to the waiter and I sit back in my seat, my eyes narrowing slightly. Here we go. I know she is desperate to question my choice of dinner but she is struggling with herself right now. She is figuring out how to go about it. I can see it in her body language.

“So, how have you been?” Nyssa asks.

“I am good, actually.” Sitting forward in my seat, I clasp my hands beneath my chin and rest my elbows on the table that is separating us. “Relaxed.”

“That’s good.” She smiles. “Look Sara, don’t take this the wrong way, but how did you manage without me?”

“Excuse me?” My brow furrowed, she fixes her eyes on her cocktail. Right now, I am shocked with what she just said.

“It is just that you don’t usually cope alone very well.”

“Don’t I?” I scoff. “Guess I’ve been trying harder, huh?” Is that what she thinks about me? That I cannot function without her?

“You’ll come home tonight, right?”

“I don’t think so.” I disagree. After what she just said, I am starting to doubt that she is trying to change.

I can’t fall back again into her arms. I know it’s what she wants, but no, I can’t do that. I have to give myself some time to figure this all out…decide if I want to go back to her.

“Why?” The shock on her face causes a rumble of laughter in my throat.

“Because it isn’t as simple as that, Nyssa.”

“Seems pretty simple to me.” A very familiar voice and that intoxicating scent is pulling me away from the sound of my ex-fiancée’s, I glance to my right and find Ava about to take a seat at the table next to us. Oh my god, this isn’t happening. It can’t be happening. “Are you still with me?”

“Sorry.” I wave off her question. “I’m here.”

I’d like to think that Ava hasn’t noticed me yet but it’s only a matter of time before she does. I’m not sure I even want to be here any longer. How can I sit here with Nyssa but think about Ava the entire time? That’s what will happen. I know how my own mind works. And it is usually, against me. Every fiber in me became alert and aware of Ava's presence. I did not take a further glance to see who is with her.

Her perfume is causing my eyes to close momentarily, I’m concentrating on trying to breathe through the thoughts I’m having before Nyssa realizes that my attention is on someone else. She has that kind of radar and she is quick to notice things and I really don’t need a confrontation in the middle of a restaurant right now.

“So, I was promoted to editor.” Nyssa clears her throat, deciding to change the topic.

“That’s amazing Nyssa. Congratulations.” Raising my glass, Nyssa raises her own and I’m actually happy for her. She does work hard and she deserves the promotion and recognition. It’s just a shame she couldn’t work hard in our relationship. “You’ve wanted this for a while now. I am happy for you.”

“Yeah.” She agrees. Her smile beaming. “It could be good for us.”

“Us?” I question, once again confusion written all over my face.

“Yeah, you know? The better lifestyle. Better salary.” Sipping on her drink, she is having a dig. I know she is. She just cannot help herself, no matter how hard she tries. “Maybe buy a bigger place?” 

“I’m sure you will make the right decision.” I smile.

The ringing in my ears is caused by Ava’s laugh. It is sending shivers down my spine, I want to look her way but I can’t. I really cannot do that. 

“No, Sara. We will make the right decision. Your input matters, too.” Once again, she is trying to win me over with wealth and luxury. I don’t want any of those things. At least, not above love and a healthy relationship. “We will check out some places together.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.” I focus on the table in front of me. “One step at a time, okay?”

“Fine.” She sighs. “However slooowww you want to go.” Her slur doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Nyssa this isn’t about the speed. It’s about doing the right thing.” My eyes finding hers again, she rolls her own and I know that this is the beginning of her unraveling. “Don’t do that.” I lower my tone. “I just want to be honest with you. Isn’t that what you want, too?”

“I just want you back, Sara. I don’t care about the rest.”

“Well, you should.” I sit back a little as the waiter places our food down in front of us. “Thank you.” Watching him leave our table, Nyssa eyes up my food and shakes her head in disappointment. “What?”

“Nothing.” She is trying to feign her disapproval on my plate of food. 

“No. Why are you shaking your head?” 

“Just, the food.” She clears her throat. “You will put a few more pounds on if you keep that up.”

“A few more?” I scoff as I give my ex an incredulous look. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You will look more…fuller.” She tucks into her salad and I watch her intently. “Sorry Sara, I just have to be honest with you.”

“Yeah, sometimes I wish you wouldn’t.” A sigh slipping from my lips, we fall into an uncomfortable silence. This is usually what happens, but I’m tired of this. I’m tired of bowing down to her every want and need. Especially when it concerns my own body. “You know, I’m happy with my body.” My eyes is on Nyssa.

“You are?” She raises an eyebrow. “Okay.”

“What’s the problem with it?” I ask.

“Ohh…n-nothing.” Placing her fork down, she gives me a false smile. One that is laced with sarcasm. “I just think you should take better care of yourself. You know, your weight.”

All of a sudden, a distinct sound of fork dropping down on a plate at the table beside us can be heard, I tense a little. I keep on telling myself that Ava hasn’t even noticed me yet. Clearing my throat, I take another mouthful of food and a chair screeches beside me. Unbeknowest to me, Nyssa is intent on giving me a scowl. 

“Can you not do that?” Ava’s gorgeous form appearing beside Nyssa, I watch on in complete shock.

“Do what?”

“Speaking and looking to your girlfriend like that.”

“I’m sorry but how I speak and look to her doesn’t concern you?” Nyssa scoffs. “You ought to mind your own business.”

“It isn’t any of my concern,” Ava responds firmly not taking her gaze off Nyssa. “But you should really treat her right before you lose her.” Wow, this woman is incredible. I know Nyssa doesn’t know that Ava has a thing for me, but she won’t like it if she found out. I know she won’t. “Unless that is what you are trying to do.”

“You should return to your seat Miss and keep your comments to yourself.” Waving Ava away, my eyes trail her form and I can’t help but feel incredibly attracted to her. I’ve longed to see her all week, and now that I have, she looks stunning and glorious while enlightening my ex on how I should be treated. Ava…

“Just, watch your mouth, okay?” Backing off, Ava returns to her seat and I’m completely lost for words right now. She hasn’t even glanced nor made eye contact with me.

“I think I’m going to head off.” Taking some cash from my purse, I throw it down between us and stand. “It was good seeing you, Nyssa.”

“You’re not going.” She furrows her brow. “Sit down and stop making a scene.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing this.” I scoff. “Don’t try to even reach me or contact me again.” I have to get out of this place. 

It’s one thing to be spoken down to like that, but for Ava to hear it, too? No, I don’t like how Nyssa has just made me feel. I don’t like it at all.

Once my feet hit the sidewalk, I breathe a sigh of relief. I knew my ex couldn’t help herself. I knew she couldn’t possibly be kind and open with me. Instead, she told me I looked beautiful and then proceeded to insult me minutes later. I just can’t live that way anymore. No matter how much I once loved her, none is worth it if I can’t be happy with her. We were before but not anymore. None of it matters if she is never going to tackle her issues with control. She needs help and I don’t think I’m the one who can give and do that for her. I deserve better than this. I deserve so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think it is really the end of the line for Sara and Nyssa?


	6. Just say yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of last night's dinner looms in Ava's thoughts. She is frustrated, worried and expecting Sara's wrath. The needed course of action is to see Sara and apologize. However, when she walked into the coffee shop, it was Zari who's in the counter and Sara is not even around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill amazing people. A gentle reminder that you have to at least get to Chapter 10 before things will get better. And I promise it will get better.
> 
> Thank you for continuously reading and supporting this story. I am amazed that some of you even bookmarked it. Your lovely comments and kudos kept me going and working for chapter updates.

AVA SHARPE

I am still so mad till now. Last night I didn’t sleep at all and it is because of my outburst at the restaurant. I am well aware that it wasn’t my business to get involved. It wasn’t my business to even have an opinion or make a comment, but I did. I did and now I regret it because after my outburst Sara left. I don’t know if she is mad at me or not. I fully expect her to be, but in my defense, I know that I was doing the right thing. Nice one Sharpe! Good job for creating a scene.

I thought if I would have her back and on her corner, she would be grateful. She doesn’t need me to fight her battles. She’s a big girl. Now I feel terrible. I want to text her or call her but it is not appropriate. If she had something to say to me, I would’ve heard from her. She would’ve called or text, but she hasn’t. Damn, I messed up big time.

I need to pull myself from this madness I feel inside, I approach the window in my office and watch the drizzle trail down the glass. I feel safe here. I feel protected from the crazy city life and everything that comes with it. I love New York, but damn, the women are so complicated. Aren’t we all? 

Sighing as I wrap my arms around my own body, a tear slips down my face and I use the back of my hand to remove it from my jawline. I am so far from a cry baby but I’m embarrassed by my behavior. I’m upset with myself, not Sara. I’m not sure I could ever be upset with her. She is very upfront and has told me time and time again that she doesn’t want anything more with me, and I have to accept that. She knows what she wants…and that isn’t me.

I’d like to believe that we could become great friends but I feel I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t be simply friends with her. Not when I have this so much feelings for her. It wouldn’t be fair to her. I would always expect something more and inside, it would kill me. Inside, I would be forever wishing that she would take me in her arms and hold me close. I wish she wanted me like I want her. 

Oh what would I give to have her here with me right now. What I would do to just catch her attention and make her smile and make her mine. Her fiancée, Nyssa, she doesn’t deserve Sara. She doesn’t deserve to wake beside that incredible smile each day. Maybe I don’t either, but I know that if I am Nyssa, I’d treat her right. I’d love, protect and cherish her. Nyssa doesn’t possess that quality as far as I can tell but I hope Sara will one day realize that.

This isn’t about me wanting her to myself. This is about Sara being happy. I know that at this point, I don’t make her happy, but someone will. Someone, somewhere, will come along and sweep her off her feet and love her exactly how she wants to be loved and needs to be loved. Someone who is worthy of her and will not take her for granted.

To love her wholeheartedly, passionately and happily. That could really be me. Closing my eyes and trying to rid the tears from them, some escape but I don’t care right now. If I have to cry to feel something, then I will cry. Weak, I know…but it is what it is. They say that there is also healing in tears and I need to heal something within me. Because deep down, I know that my heart is breaking a little each time I think of Sara.

I glanced at the clock on the wall behind my desk and a relief washes over me when I discover I’m due to leave in the next ten minutes. Today is Wednesday and I only work until one in the afternoon. I make up for that time when I’m working from home during weekends, but Wednesday is usually the day after I take most of my conference calls and I’m generally late leaving for home. I need to get out of here.

Approaching my desk, I pull my jacket from the back of it and take my purse in my hands. I need to see Sara to be sure that things are okay between us. I’m sure they won’t be, but if I could just apologize, I will sleep better tonight.

Deciding that I will go straight home and change into something less professional, I gather my things then pull my office door open and shut off the light. After changing, the coffee shop is my next destination. I just hope Sara is there and I hope she doesn’t hate me as much as I feel like she probably does right now. 

***

I need to be optimistic. I have to, right? I’m generally very forward in my approach with women but something tells me Sara doesn’t appreciate that. What I do know is that I have to see her. She is consuming everything I do and everything I am. I’m not sure I’ve fully concentrated on work because the events of last night keeps on playing in my thoughts. Now, I’d rather concentrate on Sara. I want to see her eyes, her smile and even her cute freckles. The intense baby blues that stares back at me even when there is sadness in them. What I’d give to take that sadness away from her.

Pushing the door open to the coffee shop, my eyes immediately land on the counter and I’m disappointed when I don’t find her in her usual server spot. I’m disappointed but I’m not surprised. She doesn’t work every hour of every day and I’ve clearly arrived at the wrong time and the wrong day. Figuring I’ll take a coffee to go while I’m here, I move towards the empty space and Sara’s friend gives me a full smile.

“Ava, hi.”

“Hi, umm…”

“Zari.” She holds out her hand. “Good to see you again, I haven’t seen you around here lately.”

“No, I’ve been trying to lay off the stuff.” I lie as I shake Zari’s hand.

“Well, that didn’t work for you, huh?” she chuckled.

“No, apparently not.” I sigh, the reminder that Sara isn’t here is coming back to the forefront of my mind. “Americano to go please.”

“Coming right up.” Zari made a note of my request on a take-out cup and hands it off to another member of staff. “So…”

“So?” My forehead creases.

“Sara was hoping you would come by.”

“She’s here?” I try to hide the shock in my voice but I failed. I can tell by the way Zari is smirking at me. I am really hoping that she is in here.

“She is.” The brunette says, nonchalantly. “You still want that coffee to go?”

“To be honest, I don’t know.” I toy the phone in my hand just to do something to hide the nervousness that suddenly crept to me now. “Is she mad at me?”

“You mean for verbally kicking Nyssa’s ass?” Zari arches her eyebrow. “No, she isn’t mad about that.”

“Really?” I wrinkle my nose. “How can she not be?” I’m surprised by Zari’s revelation.

“Ava, she appreciates it.”

“She’s a tough one to crack, Zari.” My voice low, I lean in a little closer. 

“This isn’t a good time for her, Ava. Don’t give up, though.” She gave me a small smile.

“I’m not sure there is anything to give up on.” My shoulders slump in defeat. “She’s giving me nothing, absolutely nothing.” 

“I know.” Zari rolls her eyes. “She’s sitting at the back of the store. Go and see her.” 

“Right, yeah.” I trail my fingers through my hair and nod slowly. “Guess I’ve got nothing to lose, right?”

“That’s the spirit.” A wink from Zari spurring me on, I head to the other end of the counter and take my coffee.

“Oh, I forgot to pay.” I glance back over to Zari, a twenty dollar bill in my grasp.

“On the house.” Giving Sara’s friend a thankful smile, I take my coffee cup from the rugged oak counter and weave through the tables heading to the back area of the store.

My eyes is quick to spot Sara sitting at a table with her head in her hands but I don’t know where to even begin with our conversation. She is so closed off when I talk to her that I sometimes wonder if she even wants me in her space. Okay, I can do this. I clear my throat… 

“Hi.”

“H-Hi.” Those incredible baby blue eyes found mine. “Did you need something?”

“Oh, no.” I set my cup down on the table. “I just wanted to check in with you.”

“That’s nice and so sweet of you.” She gave me a sincere smile.

“May I sit?” I motion towards the seat beside her. 

“Sure.”

“Look Sara, I’m sorry about last night,” I say. “It wasn’t my place to get involved. It wasn’t any of my business. And Nyssa….” And my rambling was interrupted.

“Ava no, I actually wanted to thank you for that,” Sara replies as she makes herself comfortable in her seat. “You didn’t have to do it, but what you did, I appreciate it.”

“And here I am…” My fingers trail my hair. “Fully expecting you to freak out on me.”

“Why?” Sara’s brow furrows in confusion.

“Let us take a look on those reasons… First and foremost, for interfering. Second, I admonish your fiancée out on her crap. Third, for causing a scene.” I arch my eyebrow. “Do you still want me to continue?”

“No.” Sara’s pink lips curl into a smile. “But thank you.”

“I know it is not my place…but, you shouldn’t let her treat you that way, Sara.” I’m sure she senses the worry in my voice but it only encourages me to keep this conversation going. She hasn’t pulled away from me yet, and I’m thankful.

“It’s all I’ve ever known with her.” She admits.

“You know, that doesn’t make it right, though.”

“I know that Ava.” Sara agrees. “But what else am I supposed to do?”

“Mmmm…share drinks with me…again?” I chance, giving her an earnest look.

“You really don’t take no for an answer, huh?”

“Not when I see a beautiful woman who deserves better than what she currently has, no.” Complete certainty in my voice, I narrow my eyes a little and study her face.

“Stop trying to read me, Ava.” Caught. 

“I’m not.”

“I just don’t understand why someone like you would ever be interested in someone like me.” Okay, I’m done with listening to her talk less about herself. I really am. I need to divert this conversation. 

“I never told you how much I love hearing you say my name, did I?” Her features softening, I suspect she knows I’m trying to flirt with her right now. Something tells me it’s been a long time since anyone paid her any attention when she deserves all the attention in the world.

“N-No, you didn’t.” She blushes.

“Well, I love it.” I lean in a little closer, my elbow resting on the table. “And if you will just go with this, I can listen to you saying it more often.”

“Very tempting…”

“So, go with it?” I drop my hand and trail my fingertips over her knuckles. Her skin is like nothing I’ve ever felt before and right now, it is setting my own on fire.

I hate seeing someone feeling so unsure about themselves. Why is Sara willing to miss out on potential happiness because she is scared? Sure, I could be wrong, but I can feel that she also wants it but she is trying her hardest not to. I don’t know what she is thinking and feeling but I hope that she will give in. Sara...Just say yes. 

“Sara?”

“Sorry, I was a little distracted.” Her eyes is on my hand which is now covering her own. My thumb is running over her knuckles and my heart is pounding hard in my chest. “Drinks you say?”

“Mmmm.”

“When?” She asks, nerves evident in her voice.

“Whenever you want to spend some time with me.” My smile widening a little, Sara’s mirrors my own. We will do it at her pace.

“What is that look?”

“That look is called happiness, Sara.” I answer back, trying to lighten the mood a little. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to spend some time with you.”

“I didn’t say yes.” She teases. “A little presumptuous of you, don’t you think?”

“Mmmm, I’d say yes but I know you are going to accept my offer.”

“Okay.” She nods. “Drinks.”

“Is that a yes?” My smile grows impossibly wide and my heart has just melted in my chest.

“Sure, why not?” She shrugs a little. “Friday?”

“Friday works for me.” I sit back in my seat and try to not show my excitement. My heart is jumping with gladness though. “Should I pick you up?”

“Where are we meeting?”

“My place?” I chance. “If that is okay with you?”

“Your place?” She deadpans. “What exactly is this going to involve?”

“It will involve drinks, conversation or whatever you want it to involve.”

“Okay.” She wrings her hands together and I tilt my head a little, a sad smile forming on my mouth at the sudden shift of her mood. I think I know what is going in her head right now.

“I’m not going to pounce on you, Sara. If you would prefer to meet elsewhere, that’s okay…It is up to you if you want to change the time and place”

“Your place will be okay.” I can feel the embarrassment creeping in her face. 

“We won’t be alone, don’t worry.” Something in her eyes flickers and I’m beginning to wonder if she was hoping to be alone with me. “I have a few friends coming by actually. It would be nice if you would meet them.” 

“Right.” I can still sense disappointment in her tone and it is evident in her eyes.

“Is that disappointment I’m seeing in your eyes?” I narrow my own.

“No.” She tries to defend herself but I can still hear it in her voice.

“You know, you are really good at giving off mixed signals.”

“No mixed signals here.” She disagrees. “It’s just drinks, right?”

“Sure, if that is what you want to believe.” That smirk appearing on my face again, she knows I’m trying to get a rise out of her. Damn, she makes me crazy. Is Friday a date or is it not? I feel like I want to be on the same page as her, but the mysteriousness is really a huge turn on.

“I guess I should get back to work.” Sara’s shoulders slump as she releases a deep breath. I simply watch her. Trying to figure her out.

“You don’t want to leave right now to go back to work?” I raise an eyebrow as I try to hold back the smirk I can feel forming.

“Who wants to go back to work?” She furrows her brow. “Sitting here is much more appealing.”

“With me, or?” I decide to chance my luck.

“With you…yes.” That blush creeps up her neck again and I can’t help but find it incredibly adorable. She wants to stay here with me.

“Mmmm, figured.” Lifting her hand, I lean in and press a kiss to her skin. I’m barely breathing right now but god, this feels so good. “I’ll see you Friday, Sara.”

“Wait!” She stands. “What is your last name?”

“Why? Planning to stalk me?” I throw her a wink and I’m fairly sure her knees just buckled a little. I don’t know where my confidence is coming from but I’m loving this moment more and more.

“N-No. Never mind.” Sara’s head drops but I curl my fingers under her chin and find her eyes. I am determined to see the confidence of this woman. I will do everything I can to help her rebuild it.

“Sharpe.” I gave her my full and sincerest smile. “And yours?”

“L-Lance.” She stutters. Adorable.

“Well, Sara Lance…thank you for giving me your time today.” Leaning in a little closer, I press a kiss on her cheek and she sighs. Looking at her, she gave me a timid smile.

“Goodbye, Ava. See you on Friday”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Sara wants to spend alone time with Ava?


	7. Stripped bare, uncovered, naked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara accepted Ava’s invitation to her home. Her nerves are getting into her and she is ready to bolt and run for the hills, but Ava managed to calm her. She learned a few things about Ava too and the night lead them to some revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A blessed New Year to each and everyone of you. Please consider this chapter as a treat for the occasion and enjoy it.
> 
> I don't want to give false hope though. My gentle reminder will still persist that you have to at least get to Chapter 10 before things will get better. And I promise it will get better.

SARA LANCE

I am restless since this day started. My heart is pounding ready to jump out my chest. I don’t know what the hell I am doing right now, but in the next ten minutes or so, I’ll be at Ava’s place surrounded by her friends. What does that even mean? This can’t be a date, I know that much. Do I want to date Ava? Yes. In a heartbeat. Do I think I could ever be good enough for her? No. I know that with complete certainty. I know that no matter what this night brings, we will never be together because Ava is Ava and I am just me.

Okay, I may or may not have dressed for her tonight, but I’m feeling good with the way I look anyway. It will be nice not having someone watching my every move as I prepare for tonight and it’s nice not worrying if I have the wrong outfit on for a change. I’ve promised myself that I won’t think too of Nyssa tonight but it’s hard. I really am trying to move forward and whether that happens remain to be seen. All I know is that I have to try.

Pulling up outside a very high-end apartment complex, my heart sinks into my stomach when I realize where I am. I know I’ve been gripping my phone tightly in my hand all day with the address displayed on the screen but now, it truly hits me. Ava lives on 5th Avenue, where the people with money reside. 5th Avenue where I don’t even feel good enough to walk down. Just keep your cool Lance, you can do this. You want to see Ava.

After paying the cab, I step out and glance down at my body. Okay, I look hot and I feel it too. I know that much. I am wearing a tight black dress hugging my figure in all of the right places where it finishes mid-thigh but not in a slutty way. At least, I don’t think it is. Shaking myself from my thoughts, I release a deep breath and approach the glass doors that will lead me to the impressive blonde with grey blue eyes and dazzling smile I’m spending every waking hour thinking about.

I head for the elevator and double check the address on the screen of my phone. I admit that it was good to hear from Ava earlier today and even though she offered to fetch me, I declined. I always struggle to think straight when I’m in her presence so no, her collecting me was a no no. I need my faculties to do this on my own volition. As the elevator doors open, I step inside and press the button for the floor I’m heading.

My stomach is doing somersaults and I’m suddenly not sure this is a good idea. What if I’m overdressed, or underdressed? I should go home and change. Better yet, I should go home and just cancel. This is a mistake. I can feel the anxiety building. All of a sudden I don’t know if I would be able to speak to the woman who has invited me over to her beautiful home tonight. The doors of the elevator is already opening, and before I hit the button to head back down, I find the blonde I’m longing to see clearly waiting for me.

“Hey.” She gives me one of her best smiles and my own graces my features.

“H-Hi.” I clear my throat.

“You look incredible.” My heart is pounding at her compliment. I run my eyes on the length of her body and I knew I’m salivating. A deep blue dress is falling perfectly over her body and she is donning a pair of heels that might probably worth more than my monthly salary. Her hair is straightened and falling around her shoulders and her smoky eye makeup only makes me want to push her against the nearest wall and have my way with her. Oh, good lord. I have to reign the desire that is coursing through me right now. 

“Thank you.” I drop my gaze and give myself a moment to breathe. “You look…wow.” 

“I’ll take that.” She smirks as she motions for me to come a little closer. “Did you find the place okay?”

“I did.” I nod. “The elevator alone is out of this world.”

“There is only one thing out of this world tonight.” She leans in and presses a kiss below my ear as her hand settles on the small of my back. “Shall we head inside?”

“Sure.” She has a way with words. I’ll give her that. Her perfume, her kiss and her hands are assaulting all my senses.

“What can I get you to drink?” Her blonde hair flicks around her shoulders as she turns back to face me. “Do you like anything in particular?” Yes, you. I can't tell her that, can I? I need to get a grip.

“A glass of red would be good.” My eyes changing their focus and scanned the interior design of her home. It is just how I imagined it would be. Ava’s home is incredibly beautiful and elegant but this totally isn’t me. Me being here alone doesn’t feel right. My insecurities are starting to creep in. We are from completely different worlds and I’m sure the owner of this home sees that too. How could she not?

“So, I won’t lie…I thought you wouldn’t show tonight.” Rounding her kitchen island, Ava approaches me and hands over my drink. “I was waiting for another blow off.”

“Why? It’s just drinks.”

“Is that how you still feel about this?” She cocks her head to the side and narrows her eyes. “Am I still not date material to you, Sara?”

“Honestly?” I raise an eyebrow before sipping my wine. “I am not sure anyone would be good enough for you.”

“A little judgmental, don’t you think?”

“I’m just being honest Ava.” I give her a sad smile. “But really, thank you for inviting me tonight.” That sounds polite.

“I guess I’ll just have to show you that your opinion of me is wrong.” Her hand settling on the small of my back again, she guides me into the living room and I find a mass of people who are all dressed in their best possible outfit. Thank god, I didn’t show up here in my jeans.

“You said ‘some’ friends, Ava.” I lower my tone and glance her way, her scent almost knocking me to the floor.

“They are ‘some’ friends.” She laughs. “And you will love them all.”

“I don’t even know you so I don’t imagine I’ll have a group of new friends by the end of the night.”

“You don’t know me, yet here you are…in my home and looking drop-dead gorgeous.” She gives me a look that says she knows I’m attracted to her and once again, I find myself blushing. “You want me to introduce you or are you just going to mingle?” And there she is again. Leaving me with choices and not cornering me. This woman…

“I do feel like I shouldn’t even be here.” I attempt to turn on my heel but Ava stops me. “Ava.” My gaze fell on her beautiful face.

“Please don’t leave.” I can see pleading in her eyes but this really isn’t my thing.

“This isn’t my world.” I drop my gaze but her fingertips instantly find my chin and she lifts my head.

“You belong in every world, Sara.” Inching a little closer, I swallow hard and she senses my hesitation. “I would really love for you to stay, but I won’t make you.” Damn! I wanted to bolt but her pleading tone and her begging eyes won’t let me. Here I am trying to run for the hills because she knows that I am way out of my comfort zone and yet she still gives me the option to either stay or go. And my head is now more confused.

“I’m sorry.” I shake my head. “This is just all so new to me and I feel totally out of place.”

“I get that.” I can see understanding in her eyes.

“Maybe I’ll just stay a little while and then get out of your hair.” It is the possible option I can think right now. Somehow despite my insecurities, I am not ready to leave.

“Stay as long as you want to.” She lifts her hand and brushes her thumb across my bottom lip. “You look breathtakingly beautiful tonight.” She makes me want to kiss her. I can’t do that, though. I don’t know anything about this woman. But all I do know is that she is everything I want in a girlfriend. Ava makes me feel good and something within me is telling me that I need to know her better a little more.

“Do you mind if I take a look around?”

“Not at all.” She holds up her hands. “Make yourself at home.” Yeah, I wish.

Moving away from the numerous bodies in front of me, I head towards the floor to ceiling window and my breath catches in my throat. She has the perfect view of Central Park and I’m not sure I could ever tire of looking at it from this angle. From so high up in the place where I decide to make myself comfortable, I can feel her eyes on me but I’m completely lost in the view right now. I know the view behind me is just as good but looking out over the vast expanse of Central Park is settling me a little right now. It’s calming. Just like Ava.

“Beautiful,” I whisper to myself.

“Kinda like the woman looking at it.” Her breath washes over the side of my neck and my eyes close momentarily.

“How do you ever leave here when you have a view like this?” I glance back over my shoulder and Ava is studying my profile.

“It’s beautiful but it isn’t as good as it could be.”

“I don’t follow.” 

“It always looks better when I have someone to share it with.” Shuddering when Ava’s fingertips graze the skin of my neck, she brushes my hair from my shoulder and her hand move away and finally rests against the frame of the window, away from any part of my body when she senses my anxiety, but her eyes never leaving my body. “Do I make you nervous, Sara?” She asked thoughtfully.

“Yeah, you do,” I admit.

“Uncomfortable, or?” I can see the worry on her face but I don’t know what she wants me to say to her. I don’t know what she wants me to give her.

“I don’t know how you make me feel, Ava.” A half smile settling on my mouth, she backs away a little and I realize I may have hurt her with my words. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She waves off my apology. “I’m just really attracted to you and I clearly read you wrong.” I can still see the hurt in her eyes.

“You haven’t.” I rush out my response. “I just don’t know what I feel for you.” Sensing that there's more reason than the words that I blurted, her eyes narrowed, trying to read my sincerity. 

“Give me a few minutes and we will go somewhere a little quieter, okay?”

“Sure.” After agreeing, my eyes return to the view outside her window and she disappears from beside me. I don’t know if I want to be alone with her right now because she makes me crazy, but she deserves to hear the truth. She deserves to know that she is everything I want but can’t have.

***

The view of Central park calmed me somehow and I’m feeling a little more at ease in Ava’s home but she still hasn’t returned to talk to me. I know I’ve hurt her and I know that she doesn’t owe me anything, but I’ve been psyching myself up to have a conversation with her and now it may have all been for nothing. I can see her across the room talking to another woman but it doesn’t look like they have anything going between them. She isn’t looking at the redhead the way I know she looks at me. Maybe I’ve read way too much into those looks I’ve received tonight, but I don’t think I have. Ava wants me. I’m sure of that. The flirting alone confirms her want. Somehow though, I can see that the shorthaired redhead is always touching Ava’s arms and for a moment I feel that this woman might be attracted to Ava and I can't blame her. 

Finishing the remainder of wine in my glass, I head for the kitchen and help myself to a refill. Maybe if she sees that I’m not a nervous wreck anymore she will return her attention me. I’ve never been detached but I guess I’ve made myself that way recently. It’s not always intentional, but I know it makes people less likely to give me the time of day. Ava is the only one who manage to penetrate the bubble that I enclosed myself in.

There are only so many times people can be shot down or blown off, I get that. If the tables were turned, I can’t imagine how I would feel to be in Ava’s position where she and I are concerned. I’ve been a complete bitch. Any woman in my current condition will totally grab the chance to be with this amazingly beautiful person without reservations.

I leaned back against the edge of her perfectly polished marble countertop, I take my wine glass between my lips and watch the gorgeous blonde through the crowd of people. They all seem like nice people, but again, I’ve avoided conversing and interacting with them. I only gave a nod, a smile, little Hi and Hellos. They seem way too sophisticated for me. Maybe I should have tried harder, but isn’t that the story of my life? I have always tried harder but now, all I want is just to be me and be comfortable with who I am. 

A flash of blonde hair catches my eye, I don’t move from my position and simply watch on as Ava weaves through her crowd of friends. I can watch her all day. She is a poetry in motion. She just finished talking with a dark haired woman who looks familiar. I think, at one point, I have seen her already with Ava at the coffee shop. Some of her friends are trying to catch her attention, she simply smiles and insists that she must keep on moving. Her perfume is making me dizzy right now but I have to do this. I have to let go and live a little.

“I’m sorry.” She breathes out. “One of my staff, Nora, had an issue with some plans and I had to discuss it with her.”

“Don’t apologize.” I smile. “I’m just watching.”

“Watching what?” I can see confusion in her eyes.

“You,” I say with total confidence. Whoa, where did that come from? I don’t know, but it felt good. It felt like me. The real me. The confident me that I lost but right now catching up with me again.

“Maybe you will take me up on my offer to move this conversation somewhere quieter?” She raises her eyebrow and proceeds to be nonchalant.

“I’d like that.” I agree. “Lead the way Miss Sharpe.” I am so flirting right now.

Moving through her home, I take in the framed pictures of what I assume to be her family and friends and it tells me that she is close to the people who mean the most to her. It tells me that she is a friendly and an outgoing woman. I know that, but I still can’t quite get a read on her. She still strikes me as a player and a womanizer. 

“Is here okay?” She guides me inside a dimly lit room filled with Indian lanterns and meditation pillows and my heart rate is steady for the first time since I arrived at Ava’s apartment. The hint of vanilla relaxing me, she closes the door behind her and I head for the window seat. I can’t get enough of this view.

“Your home really is incredible.”

“I am not sure if its really a home. Yes, it is comfortable.” She shrugs. “Well, more like a place where I crash lately.”

“Why so?”

“You aren’t the only woman who have been hurt, Sara.” Okay, I get that but that was a little harsh. “I’ve had a shitty time, too.” And it dawned on me what Ava is trying to tell.

“I’m sorry.” My eyes find the space between us. “I don’t intentionally push you away.” Ava looked at me and I can’t get a read anything on her features. It is like she wants to tell me something but opted to sigh.

“Really?” She laughs. “Because that’s how I see it. It’s how I always see it.”

“All the more reason to stop pursuing me then.” I sigh in return, standing and tugging my dress down my thighs a little. “Look Ava, I’ll go. I don’t want to upset you in your own home.”

“Stop doing that.” Ava groans in frustration covering her face.

“What?”

“Avoiding me.” She scoffs. “I’m not a monster or whatever you believe I am.”

“I don’t think that.” I disagree, my head shaking slightly. “I’ve never thought that.”

“Then what do you think of me Sara?” She stares me down. “If you are about to walk away from me again, at least tell me what you think? How you feel?” A moment of silence fill the room.

“Stripped bare.” My words falling from my mouth unintentionally, I realize I can’t go back now. I’ve said it and now I have to follow through. “You make me feel bare.”

“Okay, you’ve lost me.”

“Stripped bare, uncovered, naked.” A nervous laugh falls from my mouth. “Like you can see everything that I am.”

“I see the beautiful woman that you are.” She steps a little closer. “And I can see how much you’ve been hurt.”

“When I’m around you, Ava, I can’t think straight.” I sigh. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That isn’t always a bad thing.” She smiles as she takes my hand in her own. “The uncertainty, the apprehension, it isn’t always a bad thing.”

“But it has been for me in the past and I don’t like that feeling of being totally open to you. I don’t like that feeling of not being able to protect myself.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you.” She furrows her brow. “I would never hurt you Sara.” Oh, I do so want to believe that. What I would give to believe those words.

“No, not like that.” I lace our fingers together. “You are slowly but surely breaking down my walls and I don’t like that. I don’t like how you have totally consumed me and you are all that I can think about. You always seem to invade my thoughts” 

“I’m all you think about?” She repeats my words back to me. “Seriously?” I know its hard to believe what I am saying if I am in Ava’s shoes after the times I blown her off.

“Yeah.” Placing my wine glass down, I run my fingers through my hair. “I’m struggling, okay? I want to let you in but I don’t know if I am ready to start something new”

“Just let me know you Sara.” I can hear the pleading in her voice and it breaks my heart. “Please?”

“I want to,” I admit. “I want that more than anything.” I know that Ava deserves it. I deserve it too.

“So, stop backing off. Stop closing down on me.”

“Why do you want me?” I asked, genuinely lost and confused why this woman would choose me when she can have any woman in New York if she so chooses. “What do you see in me?”

“You intrigue me and you are very captivating Sara Lance” She steps painfully close. “And just like you, you are all I can think about, too.”

“I am nothing special.” I drop my gaze and focus on our hands linked together. They feel so good together. Soft. Like silk. Our hands fit so perfectly. “You’ll see that in time.” 

“Let me be the judge of that?” She suggests. “Let me try?”

“I need some time Ava.” 

“Then I will wait for you until you are ready.” Wow. She would do that for me? She is willing to wait after everything that I did to push her away? She is so much more than I thought she was.

“I never had anyone say that to me before.” A blush creeps up my neck and my face heats a little. “Nobody has ever made me feel how you do.” And it is the complete truth. She takes my other hand in her own and her body presses against me. Oh, God. That spark I’ve felt with her is hitting me square in the chest right now. 

“Honesty is the most important thing to me. Thank you for telling me how you feel” I can feel her appreciation by the way she looks at me.

“Me too.” I feel like I can’t breathe. This woman is simply amazing. 

“So, let me just be honest and sweep you off your feet.” Her words causing a smile to settle on my face, her lips are dangerously near from my own and I feel as though someone has stolen all oxygen from my body. The air around me is disappearing, as well as the room. “I’ll treat you right.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Her breath is tickling my lips and I’m struggling to pull myself away from her. From this. From us.

“Trust me…” She whispers. “Trust that I can make you feel good.” I want this.

“I want to,” I admit. “You make me crazy, Ava.”

“Crazy good, right?” A smirk curling on her lips, I simply nod and her bottom lip ghosts over my own. My stomach is tightening. Her arms are wrapping around my waist. Everything about this moment is breath-taking. “Because crazy good is my favorite kind of crazy.” 

“Definitely crazy good.”

My eyes closed as she presses her lips to my own, I’ve never felt such an intense connection with anyone before. This woman has the power to put me back together and I’m beginning to wish I’d let go sooner. I have my reasons, but suddenly those reasons aren’t relevant anymore at this time. Those reasons seem to fled right outside this very room as Ava kisses me.

Ava wants this. She wants me. I would be a fool to turn her down again. She could have the pick of anyone her heart desired, and she chose me. I don’t know why, but she did. I’ve never been kissed like that before. Something about how her tongue trails my bottom lip and how her breathing is steady and sure grounded me but at the same time wreaking me. Given half the chance, I’d let Ava kiss me forever. For the rest of my life. Oh! Those sensuous lips, heaven. I think I died and resurrected back to life again.

Pulling back, her intense grey blue eyes open and they’re enough to stop my heart from beating. My fingertips pressing against my lips, I’m trying to savor this moment. I’m trying to imprint this woman on my brain. My body could never forget her, and I’m not sure I will ever be the same again.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Her words are spoken barely above a whisper, her voice hoarse, but I’m hearing everything she is saying. I’m hearing it, and I’m totally taking it in.

“Just…?” She looked at me filled with so much understanding.

“We will take it at your pace.” She gently tucks some loose strands of hair behind my ear and kisses my forehead. I can feel the smile tugging on my lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen next for these two? And who is that short haired redhead that Sara noticed? 
> 
> There are some hints in this chapter that will give clues on what will happen on the next ones.


	8. It’s for the best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava remembers the kiss that she and Sara shared last night first thing in the morning. She took the chance inviting Sara to meet in the coffee shop that ended into a dinner invitation at her place that both of them agreed on. While waiting for their dinner to cook, they decided to have a talk only for it to spiral down causing them to totally forget dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this has to be done so here is Chapter 8. The good thing though is we are near chapter 10. It will get better, that I promise you. I didn't notice that the story is already halfway. Thank you for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks. I do appreciate all your support and your kindness too. Keep safe everyone.

AVA SHARPE

I woke up to a bright sunlight streaming through my bedroom window. My eyes immediately squinted trying to avoid a headache I can feel looming. I don’t have to work today, and if the way I’m feeling continues, that plan won’t be changing.

Sara Lance.

I touched my lips remembering the kiss. Her lips on my own. Yes, it was everything I hoped it would be. It was everything and more. They were so soft, so inviting and I’m not sure I could’ve stopped myself even if I wanted to.

Sara Lance has something about her that I still can’t quite put my finger on, but I’m not backing down. I’m not allowing her too much time to mull over this. If I do, I’ll lose her. Those walls will build back up, possibly stronger than ever before. I know her better than she thinks.

Crazy I know, I really do. How you can know someone…yet not really know them at all. I don’t profess to know all there is to know about women, but I know how to treat them. Until they decide they want someone else and drop me, cheat on me. I don’t believe I could ever do that to the person I love, but I guess I’m not the same as the others.

Seriously, when it comes to the matter of the heart, when I love, I love hard. I’m all in. When I love…my partner is all I see. She is all I feel. She is the only thing keeping me going each day. Maybe one day Sara and I will be at that place, but for now, I’m happy to kiss her whenever I have the opportunity. If possible, every moment of every day.

Removing myself from my comfortable but lonely bed, I stretch out my body and give myself a moment to get my bearings. I slept peacefully for the first time in days last night and I know who caused that. I know exactly why I slept so well. Sara has that effect on me. She makes me feel calm and relaxed. She makes me want everything I’ve dreamt about for the best part of six months. 

Slipping my arms through my robe, I tie it around my waist and rustle my hair a little. I need coffee before I even think about any plans for the day, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping to include Sara in those plans.

Making my way out of my bedroom and into my open kitchen and living room, my phone is sitting on the kitchen counter where I left it last night and I’m instantly drawn to it. I don’t know why, but before I can think about anything else, I have it in my hands and reading a message from Sara.

Thank you for a wonderful evening. – Sara 

Thank you for letting me in. – Ava 

Smiling as I set my phone back down, I prepare my morning coffee and lean back against the counter, a sigh falling from my lips. Should I be a little braver this time around? Should I just suggest meeting up again? Maybe that is what she needs. Someone who isn’t worried about the consequences of their suggestions. Pushing off the counter, my phone is once again in my hands.

Maybe we could do it again? – Ava 

I would like that. – Sara

I don’t know why this woman makes me smile so hard but I’m not complaining. I love the effect she is having on me, and I hope that one day, I can return the favor. I just want her to feel good, too.

Maybe I could drop by the coffee shop? – Ava 

I’m not working today…– Sara

Why is she not working on the one day that we both want to see each other? I hate to think that the universe is laughing at me today. Be brave, Sharpe. Just…be brave. Just as I’m about to send another text to Sara, my phone buzzes in my hand and my smile widens.

We could still meet, though? – Sara

Now, that is the answer I was waiting for. – Ava 

Name the time and I’ll be there. – Sara

Would it be too much to invite you over to my place again? – Ava 

Gripping my phone in my hands, my eyes close and I get the feeling I may have suggested the one thing she doesn’t want right now. This is me being too full on. I just get that impression. I hope I am not making a huge mistake here.

Sure. What time do you want me there? – Sara

No way. Sara didn’t just agree to come to my place today. I must have read that message alone five times just to make sure. I mean she said sure, but why? Why does she want to be here with me when she said she needed time? I don’t understand. Shit!

I have to clean up from last night, but how about I cook us dinner? – Ava 

Sounds nice. – Sara

Be at my place around sixish. – Ava 

You got it. – Sara

You know I really want to see you right now but I need to get this place clean to look a little more presentable. – Ava 

Good to know. See you later. – Sara

That’s enough for now. If I look too needy she will disappear. She will back off and I really don’t want that to happen. My coffee machine alerts me that my caffeine relief is ready. I shove my phone into the pocket of my robe and cross the kitchen. Pouring myself a large cup, I head for my couch and drop down on it, pulling my feet up on the coffee table. Just ten minutes and I’ll begin my day. I promise.

I rest my head back, close my eyes and I knew there’s a permanent smile on my face. I might look like an idiot but I don't really care. Sara is coming over this evening. We will be alone for the first time and in all honesty, I’m not worried. If she didn’t want to spend the evening with me, she would’ve suggested other arrangements like the coffee shop or at a bar. Something that didn’t involve us being alone.

My smile growing wider when I’m reminded of the taste of her lips, I take my bottom lip between my teeth and try to desperately prevent the throbbing between my legs from growing any worse. I know tonight isn’t about sex or anything of the sort, but this is how Sara makes me feel. My body responds just at the sight of her so the thought of her ever having her hands on me is making me crazy right now. Yeah, this could be something beautiful.

***

Oh Shit! Glancing at the clock, it’s ten minutes to six and I don’t feel prepared. I don’t feel like I have anything together right now and I’m still in my sweats. Should I change? Should I make myself look a little more presentable? No, no I shouldn’t.

I want Sara to see the real me and this is totally it. Comfortable, relaxed and not concerned about how people see me. Sure, I dress professionally during the week and it may seem a little intimidating to some, but that is never my intention. Not even where my staff is concerned. I want Sara to see that I’m just like her. That I’m not different or from a different class of people. I just worked hard and it paid off. It’s as simple as that really. I know she feels less and I know that she doesn’t believe we could ever be together, but that really isn’t true. I don’t care where she works or how much money she has. I only care that she spends time with me and we are happy. Okay Sharpe, you’re getting WAY ahead of yourself right now.

I don’t seem to be able to turn off these feelings I have for her. I don’t necessarily want to avoid my feelings, but if it makes Sara feel better, I can try. For her, I’ll try anything. A light knocking on my door startle me from my own ridiculous thoughts, I check myself out and internally groan. Yes, I want to look comfortable, but I don’t want to look like I haven’t left my home in a week. I don’t have time to make myself look any better so how I am will have to do. Sara is already outside my door and I don’t want to keep her waiting any longer than necessary. Clearing my throat, I cross the distance and settle my hand on the handle. Okay here it goes.

“Hi…” I pull the door open and give Sara a full smile. “Come on in.”

“Thanks.” Brushing past me, her scent sends a shiver down my spine but I push it to the back of my mind. If I don’t, I’m likely to force her back against this door and have my way with her. “Something smells good.”

“Mmmm…I think that could be you.” I close the door and steady my breathing. “You look beautiful.”

“So do you.” She tilts her head to the side a little and gives me a soft smile. “I like this look on you.”

“Yeah?” My forehead creases. “You’re teasing me right?”

“No, I like it.” She nods, her jacket slipping from her shoulders. My eyes trailing her body, she is wearing her dark wash denim skinny jeans. A deep green blouse covering her upper body is leaving very little to the imagination right now, her cleavage making my mouth water.

“I, uh…drink?”

“You drink?”

“No, I mean…can I get you something to drink?” I have to recover from my inability to speak coherently.

“Sure, whatever you’re having.” I’d rather have you… behave Sharpe.

“Glass of red?”

“Sounds perfect.” Smiling as I move into the kitchen, I busy myself with a bottle of wine and two glasses and glance over my shoulder to find Sara watching me.

“I’m sorry but dinner is going to be another hour, tops. Promise”

“That’s okay.”

“Okay, uh…”

“You wanna sit?” Sara arches her eyebrow. “Talk?”

“If you want.” I nod, trying to gauge her reaction to being here. “Did you have something you needed to say?”

“I do, yes.”

“Then we should sit.” Motioning for her to head into the living room, she kicks off her shoes and rounds the couch. “So, what’s up?” I ask as we both sit down on the couch.

“I just wanted to apologize.”

“For what exactly?” Why is she apologizing?

“How I’ve treated you lately.” Sara sighs. “It’s just been a bad time for me.”

“I know that. You have nothing to apologize for”

“I’m trying, though.” She settles her hand over my own. My own that is resting on my thigh.

“I don’t want you to try.” I upturn my hand, lacing our fingers together. “I just want you to be you.”

“I’m afraid if I’m me…you’ll run.”

“That isn’t going to happen.” I give Sara a reassuring smile. “I promise. Unless you want me out of your life”

“Ava, you don’t know the first thing about me.”

“But I will learn as we get to spend more time together?” I try to reason.

“Y-Yeah.” Her eyes focus on the coffee table in front of us both and I can feel her mood change. “I do really like you, please don’t think that this is all one-sided.”

“I had wondered if it was one-sided,” I admit. “You wouldn’t give me anything.”

“I don’t want to get hurt.”

“I won’t hurt you, Sara.” She probably heard that before and I can’t blame her if she will not believe me.

“Isn’t that the line of the century?” She watches me out of the corner of her eye. “Don’t they all say that?”

“I’m not all.” I squeeze Sara’s hand. “And I know that is probably what you have heard before, but I’d like to believe I’m not like the others.”

“You said you’d been hurt… Last time we talk I can sense that you’re about to say something about you.”

“Story of my life.” I smile as she faces me fully, one leg curling under her body, her wine glass gripped firming in her right hand. “We’ve all been hurt, though. How we come through, it is what matters most.”

“What happened?”

“Love happened…or the lack of.” I try to be as nonchalant as possible where my past relationship is concerned but I can feel Sara’s eyes on me. I can feel myself wanting to open up to her fully. I’ve never done that. Not with anyone. Is this woman the right person?

“Did she hurt you?”

“She cheated.” I shrug. “Told me she loved me but cheated.”

“I’m sorry.” Sara’s soft thumb grazes the back of my hand.

“I’m over it…I have been for a while now.” That's not everything though. I am not sure why I am hesitating right now to tell her everything.

“I wish Nyssa had cheated on me.” Her admission catching us both off guard, I arch an eyebrow. “It would’ve made it easier to leave her.”

“Why did you leave her?”

“She took everything from me.” Sara focuses on the wine in her glass, swirling it around as though it would give her the answers she is looking for deep within. “Not materially, but emotionally and mentally.”

“The control.” I give Sara a sympathetic smile, her eyes downcast. “I saw that at the restaurant, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.” She nods.

“Nobody should treat someone else that way…”

“I’m not sure she knew any other way.” Sara glances up at me, her eyes holding unshed tears. “She told me time and time again that she was going to change, but I have yet to see that happen.”

“Please, don’t go back to her.” The words fall from my mouth unexpectedly.

“I’m not,” Sara says with a determination in her voice. “I may want to be loved, but not that kind.” I nod my head. I have to take my chances to tell her how I feel.

“You know…I’ve thought about you all day.” My body shifts a little closer to Sara and I internally scream with joy when she doesn’t pull away. “I’m not sure you realize just how beautiful you are, Sara. Those things she said to you…they’re all wrong.”

“How?” She asks. “How can they be wrong when everything she said felt like the truth?”

“Trust me…you’re beautiful exactly how you are.”

“Do you really have to say that?” She rolls her eyes. “Are you trying to get into my pants.”

“Okay, I don’t know whether I’m supposed to be offended by that.” I feign shock.

“I’m sorry.” Sara shakes her head, disappointed by what she has just said. “I didn’t mean that.”

“I mean, it’s not the only reason why you’re here, but you wouldn’t be far wrong.” Winking, a blush creeps up Sara’s neck and my free hand rests on the back of the couch, behind her head. If I could just touch her.

“Thanks for not backing down.”

“I’m not sure I have it in me to ever back down,” I say with honesty. “Not from you, anyway. Not unless it is what you really want Sara. I know that I am persistent and I don’t back down from challenges but I also know how to respect people”

“You think we could do this more often?” Sara chews on her bottom lip. “If you wanted to?”

“I’d love to have you over more often.” My hand finds the back of her neck, my nails grazing her skin. “We could be good for each other. You do see that, right?”

“I feel like we could be good together…” God, that is all I’ve wanted to hear from her since I laid eyes on her.

“Yeah?”

“There is something about you…”

“Care to elaborate?” I chance.

“I can’t.” She disagrees. “Because I haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Maybe there is nothing to figure out about me.” I lean in, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Maybe I’m just me…and you’re just you.”

“I want that. I’m just not sure I’m ready for a relationship yet.” My heart sinks into my stomach but I guess I can understand Sara’s reasons why. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Maybe, just friends?” I can hear the sadness in her voice, but I cannot make her want me. I cannot make her need me. No matter how much I’m trying.

“Friends, yeah.” Pulling my hand from the back of the couch, I feel like I need to distance myself a little. If I don’t, I won’t be able to remain friends with her. I’ll say something I shouldn’t or I’ll kiss her again and that will be the end of this. The end of there being a potential for us. “I’m sorry I couldn’t change your mind.”

“This is all totally on me, Ava. You have no reason to apologize.”

“Still…” I pull myself up to my feet. “I believed trying was the right thing to do.”

“In time…maybe?” Just maybe? Wow…

“You don’t have to tell me what you think I want to hear, Sara.” I gave her a thin smile. “I should check on dinner.”

“Ava.”

“Really, we don’t have to do this.” I hold up my hand as I turn back to face Sara. “I’m okay Sara. You are who matters. What you want.”

“I appreciate that but you matter too.” Following me into the kitchen, Sara’s brow is furrowed, confusion settling on her face. “Don’t you?”

“Not really.” I shrug. “I know what I want. And you…you need time.”

“I’m messing this up again, aren’t I?” Her shoulders slumping a little, Sara blows out a deep breath and sets her wine glass down. “Thank you for spending time making dinner but I think I have to go.”

“Please don’t.” My voice trembles.

“Whatever I do, I create a bigger mess.” My heart thumping as Sara moves closer to me, I swallow hard and switch my gaze to her lips. Her full bottom lip grazing my own, my eyes instinctively close and a tear slips down my cheek. “I’m sorry.” Sara’s lips press fully against my own. Not enough to feel confident that I should deepen our kiss, but enough to know that this is the last one I will receive from her.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” My voice cracks.

“It’s for the best.” She breathes against my mouth. “I’m not ready, Ava.”

“I’ll wait…” I said with quivering voice.

“Please, don’t Ava.” She gently drags her thumb across my jawline. She fixes her gaze deep into my eyes and wipe my tears. Her own baby blues is also starting to water. “Go and be with someone who isn’t me. I’m a mess. Ava...you... you are beautiful, amazing, smart, elegant and wonderful. Be with someone like you. Look for that someone who will be able to return your love as fiercely as you deserve. Any woman you will love will be so lucky to have you.”

“Sara….” Before I even start with any pleading words, she kissed me deep and soulful that I can feel she is pouring everything that we can’t say in that kiss. Every emotion and every feeling coursing through us at this moment is wrap in that kiss. I can’t help but cry even more when it lasted.

“Goodbye Ava.” Turning around, she walks away from me. I don’t have enough strength to leave the place where I am. I heard the soft click of the door and I know that my heart is shattering into pieces right now. Despite the pain, I understand Sara and my only hope is that one day she would heal and would be able to move past from everything that Nyssa caused her. Perhaps, I am not what she needs right now, and as hard and as painful it is, I have to let her go. 

“Goodbye Sara” Maybe one day will see each other again. Maybe…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the chapters that is tough to write. I struggled on this one but I hope you will still continue reading the next ones. Tell me what you think about this chapter cause I would like to hear from you.


	9. Now isn't really a good time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be a flash forward. It is in Sara's POV as she tells her side of story on what happened to her after she said her goodbye to Ava.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to endure. I am keeping my promise.
> 
> My sincerest apologies for the change in pace of the updates. Going back to work means little time to write and this story has more words than the other story that I also have. I don't want to post a half hearted chapter just to give a new update. I want you to enjoy it and go through with the emotions that our beloved characters are feeling.

SARA LANCE

Five months later…

The thought of having to exist in that state of having to ‘get over’ the relationship, while in constant fear I’d run into my ex – on the subway, in the streets, round every corner – was unbearable for the first months. I was sure that a fresh start is what I need to mend myself. I may not have much money for some professional therapy, but I immersed myself in – for want of a better phrase – ‘heart therapy’. I walked for miles, I swam on the pools of Chelsea Recreation Center, and I sobbed my heart out. I worked harder than I had ever worked before and I played the violin. Yes, my old and once forgotten piece of myself.

Managing the withdrawal symptoms is a real struggle. The temptation to get another hit – to call my ex, and to return to her. In emotional terms, getting over with Nyssa plunge me into the five stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, bargaining and finally, acceptance. Trust me, it was not easy. It was loads of hard work and support from friends and Family. 

I managed to call Laurel and told her everything about what transpired on my relationship with Nyssa. As calm as my sister is, I can tell that she would want to skin Nyssa alive should their paths cross. Zari, my best friend, never left me especially on the darkest days. I will always be grateful for her support. She is also the one who encourage me to widen my circle. Making a choice to reconnect with old friends can reinforce that sense of belongingness. 

As with any relationship where there is vulnerability, there’s always the possibility that the other person won’t feel the same way. That goes along with the chance you take. The opportunity to have that person back in your life might outweigh the risk of being brushed off. I know where the fear is coming off but I keep telling myself that old friends are different. 

With renewed confidence, I managed to send a simple DM to Amaya. My closest friend for a long time before Nyssa took a hold in my life and her jealousy even with my friends. While wanting to get some positive response, I also tried my hardest to manage my own expectations. To my relief, it turned out alright. I put my foot forward further and invited her to go out for some drinks. At first, it felt awkward but before we said goodbye, it’s like we did not lost some time at all. The next time we met, Amaya brought her twin, Charlie, and Nate, her boyfriend. I managed to convince Zari to come with me and we all had a good time. Now, we see each other every other week and I am happy that the chance I took paid off.

Now, for the violin, it is something that I brought with me when I left Nyssa’s place. It was one of my cherished and perhaps the most expensive possession I’ve got. Laurel was the one who is so eager to play the violin when we were young at the age of 9 and 7, but she outgrown her love for it. I, however managed to continue playing the instrument until Nyssa told me that it is only a noise and a nuisance. 

When I stepped to New York, the Daniel’s Music Foundation has been my life and my work. I work with my heart and passion, teaching some group classes. I left it all for Nyssa and even stopped playing my violin too, all because of her. The violin was a Christmas gift from Laurel. I still remember the day when I opened it. Laurel told me that it was a birthday and Christmas gift rolled altogether. I know how much it cost and I promise her that I will use it and take care of it. But I broke my promise and chose to keep and hid it instead. I saw it when I was packing for things that I will bring to Zari’s apartment six months ago. Zari saw it but did not ask. I did not dare open it until five months ago.

Five months ago, I came home to the apartment I shared with Zari crying my heart out. I said goodbye to Ava that night. It breaks my heart to say it but I know its for the best. I need to work things out for myself. As much as I want to give Ava a chance, it will not be fair to both of us. I don’t want Ava to be my rebound relationship. Obviously, I need to settle some personal issues that life dumped my way after spending unhealthy relationship years with Nyssa. I know that now. 

When I get home, I went to my room and my eyes darted to the case at the corner. I took and opened it to reveal that familiar piece of myself. It has been more than three years since I last played it. I took it into my hands, violin and bow. I closed my eyes and drifted my thoughts to Ava. Her beautiful face, grey blue eyes, her warm smile, her hands and long legs, and even perfume. I am trying to remember the way she talks, her elegance with the way she walks, the confidence she has and the way her lips feel on mine. My hand and chin held the instrument and the bow on my other hand started to slide on the violin. I started playing Annie Laurie. The melancholic melody filled my room and the entire apartment. It seems that the muscle memory in my fingers has never forgotten the chords. When it came to an end, my eyes are filled with tears. I heard a clapping coming from Zari. She crossed the room and hugged me.

Moving forward to my life now, I still work in the coffee shop during weekdays, but the difference is during the weekends. I managed to call the Foundation two months ago. After reconnecting with some old friends and colleagues in there, I was offered to teach some freelance classes in the morning teaching violin grades 1 to 3. 

Ava Sharpe.

Not a day that passes that I don’t remember her. Zari would sometimes hear me playing Annie Laurie. Those are the days that I remember her intensely. I am not yet completely mended but I am getting better. I can confidently say that I already moved on and moved past from Nyssa. The anxiety and insecurity hasn’t totally managed to dissolve but I already started to test the waters. Last week, Charlie and Zari, arranged a date for me. The date was okay. It was polite. I have nothing against John but he is definitely no Ava Sharpe. And that’s what my big mouth told Zari when she interrogated me for details. Since then, she is trying her hardest to encourage me to call Ava. More so today when I get home after my morning class.

“Are you ever going to call her?” Zari throws a cushion at my head. “You're really bugging me now.”

“Jeez, thanks.”

“Come on, you know I've got your back.”

“It's not the right time.” I sigh.

“It's been five months since you bolted from Ava’s place, Sara.”

I'm aware of how long it's been. I've counted every day that I've avoided Ava. Refused to call her. Breathe the same air as her.

“You think you'll ever call?” Zari persisted.

“I don't know,” I say, honestly. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“You're better than this Lance.” Zari gives me a look of disappointment. “So much better than this.”

“Zari, drop it please.” I growl.

My best friend has been on my back for over a week and it's becoming an issue for us. I want to call Ava. I want to hear her voice and see her smile. I want to kiss her, but I don't think she would even want to see me. It's not that I don't want to see her and be with her, but I told her not to wait for me.

I appreciate that she wanted to, but I'm not sure she expected to wait five freaking months. And without some communication too. I'm not sure that she expected any of this. I went to her place that evening with the intention of talking and figuring this out, but instead, I bolted. I felt like I could be happy with Ava, but the longer I left it, the less hopeful I was. Maybe five months have been long enough and she already found someone. That though breaks my heart.

She doesn't even come to the coffee shop anymore. She hasn't in almost four months. Last I saw her, we spoke briefly, and then she left with her usual order. I figured she would come by again. Her usual routine. That never happened, though. It never happened and it’s my fault. Now, I am in turmoil. I know in my heart that I want Ava. There can be no hesitation. If I want her, I have to be all in. It's what she deserves. It's what love should be like. Love, what is that? where is that coming from?

It may be a little hasty of me to even think about love, but I know that in a short time I have known and spent with her, I've fallen for her. I've fallen for her more than I ever thought I would. The more time we've spent apart, the more my body aches for her. It aches for her, yet I've never actually been touched by her. Her kiss was more than enough for me to know that I wanted more, though.

Her kiss…it was everything. It stole my breath. It made me dizzy. Every day, for the last five months, it creeps to the forefront of my mind and I cannot block it out. How my hands settled either side of her waist, and her own gripped my elbows, pulling me in closer. That kiss is the only thing I have to work with, but it's enough. It's more than enough. Ava gave me the inspiration and the motivation to work on my issues and to love myself again. 

“I should call her…” The realization of how much I want Ava hits me. Hard.

“Well, shit!” Zari jumps from her seat beside me. “She speaks. She actually speaks.”

“Kiss my ass Z.” Flipping the finger, I roll my eyes and Zari gives me one of her smiles. That smile that tells me I'm making the right decision. “I should, right?”

“Personally, I think you should just show up at her place, but what do I know.” Zari shrugs. 

“I couldn't show up.” I shake my head in disagreement. “That's inappropriate.”

“No! What's inappropriate, is how long you've kept delaying.”

“Alright, I get it.” I hold up my hand. “I messed it up and I should be there on my hands and knees, groveling.”

“Your words, not mine.”

“Tell me what to do Z? Please.” My best friend can see the pleading in my eyes, her own is mirroring it. “I know you've been here and you've helped me more than you ever should've, but please…tell me what to do.”

“How do you feel?”

“I want to see her, touch her face, hug her, inhale her scent and like I want to kiss the face off her.” I sigh.

“Yeah?” Zari wiggles her eyebrows. “That's all you wanna do?”

“Ewwwwww!, Zari!”

“What?” She gives me an incredulous look. “Ava is a very hot and sexy woman. And she wants you”

“She isn't running around after me anymore,” I say, a laugh slipping from my mouth. “You're deluded if you think that will ever happen again.”

“I told you. I told you how she looks at you. I can feel that Ava is still waiting so please don’t let that girl wait anymore”

“You think I was in the right frame of mind when she first pursued me?” A tear slips from my eye and I internally chastise myself for letting my emotions to get the better of me. “You really think it would've worked out how it was supposed to when I was just figuring out my life after Nyssa?”

“Maybe not.” Zari gives me a small smile. “Probably not. It can now, though. Sara, I know how hard the past months are but I have seen the changes in you”

“I hope so.” I run the palms of my hands down the front of my jeans. “I just hope she will speak to me.”

“You know she will,” Zari says. “She's waiting for you, I know it.”

“So, I'm going over there?” I stand, puffing out a deep breath. “I'm going over, not calling?”

“Pfft. Calling is not how you go about this one.”

“If you're sure?” I arch my eyebrow.

“Leave…now!” Nudging me away, I stumble through my best friend’s apartment and head for the bedroom I've spent the past few months sleeping in. I really need to find a place of my own.

Heading into my room, I think about changing but I don't want to look too desperate. I have my grey skinny jeans on and my band tee. Pulling my hair up into a messy bun, I perfect it and spray a little light perfume.

It's Saturday so Ava is possibly home, but if she's not…I'll call her. Maybe just leave her a text message asking if we can talk. I'll figure that out if I come up empty at her place. Her gorgeous stylish place. A place I never imagined me inside of. I'm still mad for leaving when she invited me over to dinner, but I cannot take that back. I can only move forward, and five months on…I feel like I'm ready to do exactly that.

I really need for her to be home right now.

***

Pushing the button on the elevator that will take me to Ava’s floor, the heavy doors close with a thud and I press my back up against the carriage wall. I was okay until I reached the entrance to her block. I was okay until I suddenly wasn't. I'm not turning back, though. I'm here and I'm desperate to see her. Every night I've laid awake thinking about what could've been. Every night, I've thought about calling and hoping Ava would take me in her arms. Every night…I decided against it. Every night, I've fallen apart when I've climbed into bed alone.

The doors opening when the ding signals my arrival, I blow out a deep breath and fix the lapels of my jacket, straightening myself out a little. I've got this. If I keep telling myself that, maybe I will have it. If I try to see the positive side of this, who knows where it will lead.

Ava’s door coming into view, my heart rate increases and the scent of her home suddenly cocoons me, settling me. Telling me that everything is going to be okay. Curling my hand into a fist, I knock…a little louder than I probably should.

Please be home.

The door opening, my life suddenly turns into slow motion. Everything that is happening, I'm not sure it's real. I've thought about this woman every waking hour since I left her standing in this very apartment, and I'm about to see her. Touch her.

“Sara?…” Ava’s brow creases.

“Hi.”

“Ahmmm….is everything okay?” She asks. “Is there something you need?”

“Yeah...you.” I shove my hands into the back pockets of my jeans. “Can we talk?”

“Now isn't really a good time.” Her face giving me nothing, her tone of voice is cold.

“Right, yeah.” My mouth slightly curls on one side. Embarrassment, maybe? “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shown up here unannounced.”

“It's okay.” Those grey blue eyes holding nothing for me, I'm about to ask Ava how she is, when two arms wrap around her waist from behind, a flash of red hair coming into my line of sight.

“Aves, are you coming back in? You promised me some breakfast” Oh god. No. Please, no.

“I should go.” My eyes well with tears as I focus on the arms holding Ava. “It was good to see you. Bye.”

Turning on my heel, I've never left a space so quickly in my life. Of course, Ava isn't single anymore. Of course, I totally missed my chance with her. Of course, I'm about to break down. Pushing the elevator button repeatedly, I glance back but I find no signs of the woman who I've thought about constantly. I find no signs of the woman who I've imagined waking beside since I left. Damn it.

Rushing inside the elevator, tears slip from my face but I can't control them. I built myself up to come here and say what I needed to say, and now it's crashing down around me. I'm crashing. I can feel myself falling into that void. That void I've experienced before, but never this intense. Never this hard.

Relieved when the doors open and I find myself within distance of the street, I wipe the tears from my jawline with the back of my hand and breathe a deep breath. I mean, how can I fall for a woman I don't even know? How can my heart twist in my chest when we have only kissed once? How can I feel like this when this isn't my life anyway? The idea of being with someone like Ava. The idea that we could be happy together. I'm fooling myself and this is the entire reason I distanced myself from everything that she was when we first met.

Of course, I saw how she looked at me. Seems I'm good at playing stupid when I need to. Those times when Zari told me that Ava was into me and would wait for me. Maybe leaving five months ago was the right decision and this is just a final acknowledgment of that.

My feet pounding the sidewalk beneath me, the coffee shop is within distance. The harder my feet hit the floor, the more my heart crumbles in my chest. The faster I walk, the quicker the tears fall. I was doing good. Not good enough it would seem. I thought this was the perfect time. Nyssa has stopped contacting me and I felt like I was already in a good place now to start something new. Clearly, I was wrong. Clearly, I'm still not worthy of happiness. This, though…this is my own doing and I own that. I accept that.

Rushing across the street, the palms of my hands lay flat against the heavy glass door to the coffee shop and I push hard. That familiar aroma attacking my senses as I weave through the people inside, Zari catches my attention from her seat and I head straight towards her.

“It didn't go well.” 

“What do you think?” I scoff.

“What happened, Sara?”

“She already met someone else.” My head drops into my hands, tears pooled again in my eyes. My elbows is resting on the table between us. “Fuck!”

“I'm so sorry…”

“Yeah, me too.” I whimper.

“Did she look happy to see you?”

“I don't know.” I glance up at my best friend. “She was too busy fucking her girlfriend Z.”

“O-Oh.” Yeah, oh!

“I should've known.” I sigh, wiping the tears away once again. “Why the hell would she wait for me?”

“Honestly, I thought she would.” Zari settles her hand over mine. “You wanna get out of here and drink?”

“No, thanks.”

“So, what do you wanna do?”

“Go home. Sleep. Forget this day ever happened.”

“You know, she used to stop by here…watching you through the window.”

“Now isn't the time to bullshit me.” I give my best friend an incredulous look. “It's really not.”

“I'm not bullshitting you. For the past five months, every now and then she will stop by” Something in Zari’s eyes tells me she is being honest, but I don't understand any of what has happened today. I don't know why Ava would watch me. Because she always did. That's why.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Maybe wait it out? Wait for Ava to come to you?”

“What if she doesn't?” A whimper falls from my mouth.

“Then…I don't know Sara.” Zari looks just as lost as I feel right now. “I'm so sorry.”

“This is all on me.” I stand. “All of it.”

“You said it yourself, though.” She squeezes my hand before I tug it away. “You weren't in the right place when you met her.” My best friend knows this discussion is over. “You headed back to our place?” 

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well…be safe, yeah?”

“Always.

Zari pulls me into a hug and I know she's got my back. Just like she has since my life became a mess and I found myself alone. I may not have the woman I so desperately want, but I have my best friend and with best friends, you can never go wrong.

Heading back in the direction I took to get here, I drop my head and pull my jacket around me tighter. My life may have gone into a huge mess but I managed to pull right up. At least I'm not with Nyssa anymore. At least I'm not settling simply because I believe it's the right thing to do.

Even if Ava doesn't see what my life has turned out, she gave me all the inspiration that I need to persevere and bring back my confidence. She told me that I deserve better….that I am better than settling. I am better than being talked down to. I'm better than the control and the demand. Okay, I may not be good enough for Ava and today has shown that, but I've got what and the people who I need right now. Somewhere to call home, kind of. Somewhere where I feel safe. A support system. Maybe that should be enough for someone like me.

Taking a left when I find myself on the street outside the coffee shop, I lift my hood up onto my head and shove my hands in the pockets of my jacket. There is a light breeze in the air today but its chilling me to the bone. I feel cold. My body and my heart.

Pulling out my keys to gain entry to our apartment, I take my phone out along with it. I slip the key into the lock of the apartment building. Deciding to take the stairs, I unlock the screen of my phone and my heart pounds between my ears. Hard.

Can we talk? - Ava

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kindly picture the look of Alex Danvers in Season four of Supergirl for this chapter.
> 
> I know that this is still heartbreaking but what do you think?


	10. Am I already too late?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been three days since Sara dropped unceremoniously at Ava’s place. Three days and Ava still haven’t heard from Sara. Ava got an advice and much needed help from both Nora and Zari on her predicament.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no one way to feel or heal after you leave a toxic relationship. What you went through is not who you are. Healing is a process and through it, you will remember how strong and capable you really are. 
> 
> Every day free from abuse is another piece of yourself that you get back and eventually, those pieces will come together.

AVA SHARPE

It has been three days. Three days since Sara came to my place and I unintentionally hurt her. I never wanted her to see me with another woman, regardless of the fact that I’ve not done anything wrong. After all, her last words to me before her unexpected visit was to find someone and not wait for her. I never wanted her to rush away and leave with a scenario in her head. Alex is a no strings arrangement and she always has been. We don’t have anything between us. At least, nothing worth exploring.

I didn’t think she would ever return. I didn’t think she would ever show up but she did. She did at a completely wrong time. Isn’t that how it always works, though? The most inappropriate moment. A time when you don’t have the chance to explain yourself or try to fix something. Alex Danvers and I aren’t in a relationship and we will never be. 

I have to leave for a business trip tomorrow, and I need to fix this before I leave for my own peace of mind. Glancing at the clock, it’s seven minutes to one and I’m planning to leave the moment those hands hit the hour. My phone in my hand, I bring up Sara’s contact information and begin a new message but also deleted it. I know I’m wasting my time, but I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what to say to her and I don’t know what could possibly make this any better. 

I told her I would wait for her before she walked out and told me not to wait. That she was a mess. It still hurts when I think about it now. It was five months ago. I turn to work and made sure that Nora booked me loads of business trips. I dated but nothing worked out. I haven’t found that person I can share that connection I am longing. 

The clock finally hitting one in the afternoon, I power down my computer and stand, taking my purse from beside my desk as I do. Come on, Sara. Give me something. Anything. I am about to leave when I heard a knock on my door and I saw a head peeking. 

“Come in Nora.” 

“Hey Aves.” Nora greeted me with a smile. Nora is part of my team for years now. When Ali and I decided to put this business some years ago, Nora was already part of the small core team that we established. She is diligent, patient and trustworthy. She had also become one of my closest friends especially when Ali died.

“What’s up Nor?”

“Just routine checking. You ready for tomorrow?” I made a deep sigh at her question.

“I don’t know Nor.”

“She still haven’t answered your message then.”

“Nope. I don’t know what to do and I know it will only bug me more as days passes without talking to her. She freaking went on my place to see me at the wrong time. I was very surprised to see her at all.”

“Mmmm…. And she saw Alex.

“Yes, she did.” I groaned after the admission.

“How was she Ava?”

“She looked good, she looked gorgeous but more so now. Her body was more toned but she looked radiant. She stood at my doorstep armed with confidence and sporting a huge smile when I opened my door.”

“That took guts. So what do you intend to do?” Nora inquired.

“I don’t know. I want to talk with her but she is not answering my message. It has been three days.”

“Have you heard the famous phrase… If there’s a will, there’s a way.” 

“Nora…”

“Look Ava. It’s not my place to tell you what to do but you said it so yourself that you wanted to talk to her. From what you have shared to me, it seems that your feelings for her hasn’t left despite all the trying to go on dates with various women.”

“I’m scared Nora. I don’t want to push her and you know me. I am too persistent. I understand her though. I really do. Trust me, the Sara I saw three days ago was different from the Sara who left my place five months ago. The time apart did wonders for her and in a way, I am happy and proud of her. She reminds me of Ali, you know.”

“Listen to what she will say and be honest with her. Sara has gotten out of a relationship but also suffered domestic abuse from it. She needs people who will be in her corner to give her strength and people she can trust. I know you Ava. You may have respected Sara’s boundaries for the past months and even tried going out with other people but you are still longing to be with her. Don’t go too fast for both of your sakes. Give her the time she needs to get to know you. It won’t be easy but if you think she is worth it, then be that someone who will show her what it really feels to be loved, valued and respected. You need to be a part of her support system. You already know the drill Aves.” Nora said pointedly and look at me with understanding.

“Since when did you get so smart?” I gave her a smile and a hug.

“Oh before I let you go…..You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you will drop by to your old coffee shop.” She gave me a wink and a smirk. “I will see you next week Aves. Have a safe trip.” Nora turn around and left me at my office pondering on what she just said.

After a few internal monologues, I head straight for the door, I shut off the lights in my office and breathe a sigh of relief when I glance back at the paperwork sitting on my desk. I don’t have the right mindset for any work right now and until Sara comes through, I’m not sure I will.

“Miss Sharpe, is everything okay?” Gary has a look of concern on his face.

“Yeah, I’m leaving for the day.”

“Are you okay Ma’am?”

“I’m fine, Gary.” I give him a slight nod. “Can you put an out of office on everything for me?”

“Of course, Miss Sharpe.” He scrambles around behind his computer.

“Thanks, I’ll see you next week.”

My legs are taking me straight to the elevator, I rub at my temples before fixing my purse on my shoulder a little better. I have to go to the coffee shop once more. If I don’t, I will go insane. The elevator doors opening, I head inside and push the button that will take me away from all things work related.

A relief washing over me as it sends me to ground level, the doors open and the view of the street is in my line of sight. Thank god. Making my way outside, I take a right and walk the two blocks it will take for me to reach the coffee shop.

If I go home and leave things how they are, I won’t sleep tonight. My sleep and my routine are already suffering because of the blonde who paid me a visit three days ago, but I need to talk to her. I’m fooling myself into believing that I’ll ever be that lucky again, but I have nothing else to hold onto.

Rushing across the street as a light drizzle falls between the tall buildings around me, I push through the door to the coffee shop and glance around. She isn’t here… Damn it! I don’t know what else to do. Sighing as I weave through the crowd of customers, I make my way towards Zari. I’m not even sure if she even wants to see me, but I need her help. I’ve decided, I definitely need her help. She knows Sara better than me. Of course, she does. I don’t know Sara at all. I don’t know anything about the woman who manage to turn my life upside down. Nothing. Nada.

Watching Zari’s familiar form behind the counter, I move towards the front of the queue, garnering some looks from the people who have been waiting. I’m not here for coffee, though. It isn’t the same when Sara isn’t here.

“Ava, hi.” Zari gives me a broad smile as I appear in front of her.

“Is she here today?”

“No, I’m sorry.” Zari’s voice is laced with disappointment. “She’s at our place.”

“Oh, right…she won’t answer my message. I even tried calling but it won’t get through”

“I know.”

“What should I do?” I ask Zari. She must have some kind of suggestion.

“You should go to my place and drag her ass from the couch.” Zari laughs.

“Ummm, I should?” My brow creases. “I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate that.”

“Yeah, well I don’t appreciate her ruining my sex life.” She rolls her eyes playfully.

“Right, yeah.” I clear my throat as customers step around me.

“Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll grab you the key you will need to get inside the block, okay?”

“Y-You would do that?” My eyes brighten and Zari gives me a soft smile.

“Sara is stubborn. She doesn’t often back down.” Shrugging Zari asks her next customer to wait a moment and disappears out back.

I don’t know why Sara’s best friend is offering some kind of resolution in all of this, but I appreciate it. I appreciate it more than she will ever know.

“Here you go.” A set of keys fall into the palm of my right hand, a post-it wrapped around them. “The address is there, too.”

“Thank you so much, Zari.” My heart rate settles for the first time in days. “Just…does she hate me?”

“Sara?” She arches an eyebrow. “No, she doesn’t hate you.”

“She’s going to freak out, isn’t she?”

“I don’t think so.” Zari shakes her head slightly, a small smile curling on the corner of her mouth. “Just…be honest with her. Tell her how you feel. It’s what she needs right now.”

“Thank you.” I give Sara’s best friend an appreciative smile. “Really, though.”

“No problem.” I received a wink from Zari. With her blessing, I find myself turning on my heel and heading straight for the exit. 

Reaching the sidewalk, the light drizzle I was faced with on coming here has turned into a light shower, but I’m not concerned. Glancing down at the paper in my hand, I’m only a block or so from the place that Zari shares with Sara and the weather is the last thing on my mind right now.

Sara Lance.

She is the only thing that matters right now. I’ve never been the woman who chases others. I’ve never been the woman who falls head over heels in love with someone else. I can feel myself falling though and I don’t know if I would be able to stop it. 

Seeing Sara again has been a huge surprised, but she looked oh so good. Sometimes when I pass their coffee shop, I can’t help but glance and search for her. I know she doesn’t want to see me, so I just look from afar. Looking at her closely in my doorstep was something else. She is still the same beautiful Sara, but I can’t deny the changes too. Her body physique has changed in a good way making her even more sexy. The way she stands and greeted me shows confidence but her eyes….her eyes hold so much more. It is filled with some joy and hope that I haven’t seen before. But then those eyes also conveyed hurt when she saw Alex.

***

The silver keys gripped in my hand tight, I’m safely inside their apartment block and my heart is pounding between my ears. I’ve never felt this way. I’ve never felt so sure, yet so nervous about anyone in my life. Sara does something to me that I can’t quite explain but I know it could be good. I know that I am craving for love and meaningful intimacy and connection with a woman who will also love me for who I am. 

The heavy metal doors of the elevator opening, I blow out a deep breath and give myself a moment to center myself. To breathe. I don’t know what is about to happen, but I know Sara is behind the door marked 230 and I cannot wait another minute to see her. I cannot wait to just look into those intense blue pools.

Reaching the required door at the end of the hallway, I curl my hand into a fist to knock lightly. My ears are filled with music coming from a violin. It is beautiful. The way it was played was soothing and I wonder who is playing it. Is Sara not alone? I am sure I get the right door. Well, here I am and I have to brave what will come from this. I knocked firmly as my heart pounds. The music stopped.

“Ava?” She cracks the door open, confused.

“H-Hi, can we talk?”

“How did you get in here?” The creases in her brow become more defined. Deeper.

“Zari.” I clear my throat of any emotion. “Could I just get five minutes with you?”

“Okay.” Her eyes focused on the space between us, Sara steps aside and opens the door wider. “Come in.”

“Thank you.”

Making my way inside, I move into the couch and set my purse down on the center table. A violin was also placed on it and I wonder if Sara was the one whom I heard playing. I’ve suddenly become lost for words, but I’ll figure it out as I go along. I have to.

“Why are you here?” Sara wraps her arms around herself, her beautiful blonde locks are pulled up into a messy bun. 

“That woman you saw…in my apartment…we’re not together.” Great start Ava. I groaned internally.

“You should be.” Sara nods slowly. “I think, you looked good together.”

“I don’t want to look good together…I want to be good together. Feel good together.” I said with defiance.

“Well, I hope that works out for you.”

“Not with her.” I say with certainty.

“Yeah, right.” A slight scoff falls from her mouth.

“Hey, I’d never lie to you.” Her uncertainty about me is breaking my heart. “You mean too much to me to ever lie to you.”

“That’s sweet.”

“No, it’s the truth.” I take her hand in my own. “You said you wanted to talk to me.” A small smile curls on my mouth at that thought alone.

“Yeah, I do.” Sara’s head drops on her shoulders.

“So…….” I dip my head to meet her eyes and I can see that she is still weighing things out. I need to start something going to encourage her “I am happy to see you again Sara.”

“I’m sorry I took so long.”

“I’m not.” I shrug. “Believe it or not, I understand that you need the time for yourself. I can see that it caused a lot of good for you.”

“It did.” She gave me a small smile. “It hasn’t been easy you know.”

“I know.” She gave me a challenging look. “You remind me of my sister Ali.”

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yes. Ali is my baby sister. She is strong-willed just like you.” I offered her a small smile. Not many knows the story of my sister but I want Sara to understand that I do know what she has gone through and still going through. “She got married right after college. She used to go out and see bands with her friends and in one gig she met this guy and has fallen head over heels. After a month into that relationship, she moved in with the guy. My sister quit her stable job three months after that. When our Mom conveyed to her that she didn’t like the guy, Ali drifted from our family. I saw less and less of her. She also lost contact with our friends. I don’t know what is happening to her during those times because they would often move from place to place and she would often change her number. She also took different assortments of part time jobs. Little did I know that my sister was already suffering abuse. In two years that they were together, her confidence with people disappeared. All her energy was spent on keeping her boyfriend happy. She felt miserable and the guy held her self-esteem at the palm of his hands. That bastard, he manipulated her.” Little did I know that a tear has rolled in my cheeks. I felt gentle fingers wiping it.

“Ava…you don’t have to…”

“But I want to….just please…” Sara gestured for me to go on.

“Christmas, three years into that relationship, he gave her a surprise present for each of the twelve days of Christmas but on Christmas eve, he tried to tricked her into going to some midnight party and she said no. He got angry and violent and punched her at the face. Ali decided then that the relationship was over but still, it took her seven more months to get up the courage and leave. She finally walked out one night after she’s been to a function. She went to their home almost midnight and when she got into bed, he got up and opened all their lights and told her that he stayed awake waiting for her now it was her turn to stay awake. Ali told him to stop acting like a child and packed a few things and left. He even joked that she wouldn’t survive without him and she will be back. That night sent my sister to my doorsteps. The effects of that relationship took a long time for Ali to get over. Her relationship with family and friends also took time to heal but my sister persevered.” I looked for Sara’s blue eyes and I saw understanding in them. I took her hand and held it in my own. “You see Sara, in a way I know what you have gone through. I respected your decision to take some time for yourself. But please know that I am here for you. I can listen and I can be part of your support system.”

“Oh Ava.” I can see tears flowing in her face and she pulled me into her to hug me. I didn’t know how long we stayed like that. I stroked soothing patterns at her back until her sobbing ebbed. “I’m sorry, I already ruined your blouse.” She tried to retract herself but I keep her in place.

“Nothing is ruined Sara.” I squeezed her lightly and move a little to wipe her tears. 

“Thank you.”

“So….I am curious who’s playing the soothing music that I heard before I knocked to your door.” I inquired and she gave me a cute grin.

“That would be me.” She admitted.

“Really? Can I make a request?” 

“What is it Ava?

“Can you play something for me?” I can see a slight hesitance in Sara’s face but cave in.

“Suuurre” 

Sara picked up her violin and bow. She thought for a moment and then proceeded to play. She closed her eyes and a beautiful melody filled the room. It was as beautiful and soulful as the woman whose playing its chords. This woman didn’t deserve what was thrown at her but she managed to take it in and stood her ground. I hope the future ahead will be kind to her, to us. 

All of us have scars, past hurt and broken bits. Sometimes we feel unworthy, but that is a lie we tell ourselves. No one is too broken to be loved. No matter what the voices say, we are good enough. Our scars are warrior paint, showing the world our strength. And that is what I am seeing right now in the woman in front of me. Her scars simply means that she is far stronger than whatever it is that tried to hurt her. Scars are wounds of a warrior not someone who is weak. They mean that you survived. 

There is a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. I think of the flowers growing through the concrete. That is how I see Sara. The light got through a crack in the concrete, and now she is sprouting through the surface. 

The piece came to an end and I clapped enthusiastically. I appreciate the woman, musician, survivor and warrior. Sara gave a shy bow but gave me a full smile.

“That was beautiful Sara.”

“Ahhhmmm…Thank you.”

“I didn’t know you play violin.”

“I always love playing the violin. In fact, I am back to teaching it as a freelance during weekends.” She said it with excitement evident in her body language.

“That’s great.” We heard a growl and we both laugh.

“I guess all the crying and playing made me hungry. Would you like to stay? I can order some pizza.” Sara said. 

“That would be nice.” 

Sara grabbed the phone and ordered some pizza for us. She returned a few minutes sporting a grin on her face. We chatted on anything about random stuff until the pizza came. We continued our conversation in the open kitchen where we set the pizza. Sara grabbed two cold beers from the refrigerator and handed one to me. We ate in comfortable silence while taking glances and smiling at each other. 

“So, here we are chatting bout everything and nothing but I still haven’t asked about you. How are you Ava?”

“I am all good. As usual work is keeping me busy. In fact, I am about to leave tomorrow for some business trip and will be back next week.”

“Oohhhh!” She gives me a smile that causes my heart to crumble in my chest. “I’ve missed you.” It was so faint but I heard it.

“I missed you too.”

“Who was she?”

“Oh, Alex.” I noticed Sara pulled a little from the counter. “She doesn’t mean anything to me, Sara.”

“Looked like she did.” She gives me a half smile.

“We went to college together,” I state. “We just always kept in touch like…no strings.” I shrug. “She was in town. We went for drinks. One thing led to another…there is nothing more between us, at least nothing worth exploring.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I asked her to leave when you came by.” I moved into the counter and Sara shifts a little closer. I saw her hand and settles mine on top of hers. “I wanted to see you but after what you said to me before, I couldn’t do it.”

“Sorry.” She releases a deep breath. “I just didn’t want you to come here and tell me you didn’t want me. Not after I’d found the courage to come to you.”

“You think there was a time when I didn’t want you?”

“Hard not to think that when you opened the door and she was there.”

“Hey…” I curl my fingers under Sara’s chin and lift her head a little. “I’ve spent every waking minute hoping you would call or text. Anything.”

“But I gave you nothing.” She sighs. “I’m a bitch, I know.”

“I got it though” I admit.

“You got what?”

“Your need for some space. To think things over.”

“But five months, really?” Sara rolls her eyes. I laugh a little.

“Yeah…what can I say. You need the time. I’ve been watching you whenever I pass the coffee shop.” My thumb grazes her knuckles. “I had no idea of the extent of what you had been through with your ex, Sara. Had I known; I never would’ve pursued you so soon.” Time briefly passed and we just looked into each other’s eyes. Sara took a deep breath and focused those baby blues on me.

“Ava, I don’t know if… Am I already too late?... You in here at this very moment is beyond anything that I have ever imagined, nor I could ask for. I know that what I have been through will take time for things to get better and I will need lots of patience, comfort and support from family and friends. I want you to know, right this very moment that I want you to stay in my life. Let’s face it, we love who we love and we’re attracted to who we’re attracted to. There are people that we just feel a unique and undeniable connection with – and sometimes our minds and hearts can’t be at ease unless we take that plunge. I just hope that I haven’t missed my chance.” 

“Oh Sara.” I cupped her face close to mine. “You are not too late nor you miss the chance.” I enveloped Sara in a hug and kissed her in the forehead. I want to frame this very moment if I only can.

“Ava, will it be alright if I see you next week when you return from your trip?” She pulled a little to look at my face.

“Of course.” I said positively.

“And now, I really need to kiss you...like so bad.” 

“Do it.” She smiles as my lips brush hers. Her breath tickling my skin.

“Yeah?” I narrow my eyes, my hand tilting her head back a little as Sara takes her bottom lip between her teeth. “You sure you want me to kiss you?” She said teasingly.

Sara’s hand fisting in my crisp white shirt, she pulls me in painfully close and presses her lips hard against mine. Hard, but so good. So much better than the last we shared and much…much…much… better than anyone else who has ever kissed me. I could kiss her for the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the update but it is not yet over. Don't hesitate to leave comments. Would love to hear from you.


	11. I dare you to love me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara and Ava are finally dating. Both are onboard in allowing their relationship to grow at its natural pace and making sure that they establish a balanced dynamic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If a good relationship is what you want, spending quality time with someone is the best way to get there.

SARA LANCE

After Ava returned from her business trip, it seems that we are always longing to see each other. The messages and calls have been a constant reminder for me that this is really happening. I don’t know how I came to be in the position I am in right now, but I’m taking it with both hands. It’s my time to be truly happy and I know that Ava is the one who brings that happiness. How she looks at me. I see it now more than ever. The softness of her lips as they graze my own. Yeah, Ava is the one I want to be with. Not Nyssa or anyone else from my past. Just…Ava. 

Eight weeks of constantly seeing each other, I feel like I am in the clouds. I know that there’s a constant smile that graces my lips. The more that I get to know and spend time with Ava, the more addicted I am to be with her. I’ve never felt a connection so intense before, and honestly, it kind of scares me. Not a run for the hills kind of fear, but a fear that I’m going to mess this up somehow. Surely, it’s inevitable. It’s what I do best. Everything is good and then I say or do something which completely blows everything out of the water.

I know I’m worrying about nothing, but Ava feels too good to lose. This feels too good to let her down or hurt her. Sometimes, I mess things up without even realizing it. But Ava doesn’t seem like the kind of woman who backs off at the first sign of trouble. If anything, she appears to be the total opposite. She is willing to take the challenge and she is also sweet.

She makes me comfortable on my own skin. At first, I thought that dating Ava can be hard. She is financially well-off after all. Let’s face it, money can be something that brings people together or pushes them apart, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I have to accept that Ava worked very hard to achieve what she has now. I don’t want her money to push us apart. 

I made an extra effort with our date activities that involve middle-of-the-road costs. I don’t want Ava to think that I am after for a free ride. We took turns on date ideas. I brought her to a restaurant that I love. It may be a common one and not a five star but I want to send a clear message that I am interested in getting to know her not trying to milk her. Ava is someone established career wise and I have to make peace with that. The real bottom line is that there is no fairness in the way people get paid or earn a living. Some professions are paid extremely well while the others are paid minimally. 

Ava doesn’t have any qualms with my ideas. She was there with each date that we planned. She would show up always excited just like I am. She knows how I feel with the difference in our economic bracket and I am glad when she suggested that we could take turns in paying for our date activities. I remember how touched I am when she told me that the way I earn my living is no reflection of my overall merit or worth as individual. This woman is really something. 

Introducing Ava to my friends is another matter that made me anxious because I know that it is a big deal. I lost most of my friends because of Nyssa. Well, it’s a big deal at least for me. I know that Zari already adores Ava, but I want Amaya, Charlie and Nate to also like her especially Amaya. I know that Ava is not Nyssa and she will not push me away from my friends, but I just want things to be alright. All of them are important to me and I want all of them to get along with each other. 

Once I told Ava how important she is to me and how much it means to be able to introduce her to my friends, she affirmed on meeting them. It is a good thing that it is only a small group because I want Ava to feel comfortable too. I was able to ask my friends if I could bring Ava to one of our get togethers and they all agreed, and I was tasked with the planning. I wracked my head and so the best idea that I got was a laser tag on a Saturday afternoon for the group. 

Right after my violin class that Saturday morning, Ava picked me up and we had a simple quiet lunch before we went to meet the gang. Ava and I had gone to different teams. Since there are six of us, it only means that there are three members for each team. The game proceeded with Ava, Nate and Charlie on one team and Amaya, Zari and I on the other. Playing on opposing teams get Ava a chance to interact with them on her own. Everyone had fun and it was a very happy event for me even if my team lost. By the next activity that the group had, everyone is even more at ease and I can sense that Ava is already enjoying being with the group. It makes me happy that my friends are becoming fond of her.

Ava knows the places where I work and live but it’s another story for me going to Ava’s familiar spaces. I have reacquainted myself on her 5th Avenue place. I guess I will never get tired of the view. I learned pretty quickly that Ava loves to cook, and she is quite good at it. Impressive actually. She told me that it was her Mom who showed and taught her the ways in the kitchen. For someone with money, one would think that she would love to eat out but that is not the case. She loves preparing meals and even Zari was surprised when one time I invited Ava to come over. She brought groceries with her and made us helped out. The outcome is a very delicious meal that we three shared for our dinner. 

Going to Ava’s place of work is something that I wouldn’t exactly like to be dipped into. I know that Ava is the boss and there will be definitely curious eyes that will fall on me and I don’t exactly like that kind of attention. Most unfortunately, as much as I want to evade it, Ava happened to left some work files at the coffee shop one time and when she called me asking a favor if I can bring it to her I know that I won’t be able to say no. I am grateful to Gary and Nora though. Gary assisted me to a rather secluded path that leads to Ava’s office. I managed to meet Nora who happened to be in briefing with Ava that time. 

I am well aware that Ava is beautiful, elegant, smart and sophisticated with her work outfits, but the pantsuit and high heels were definitely doing something to me. If Nora was not in there, I am not sure I would be able to control the hormones coursing through my body. Ava’s smirk is telling me that she knows what she is doing to me though. After a brief introduction with Nora and Gary, I managed to excuse myself that I am needed back at the coffee shop. I don’t know how I managed to get out of Ava’s office alive.

After eight weeks, I was able to gather some courage to invite Ava to our place last night. Zari was staying in Charlie’s, so it was just Ava and me. We cooked a simple dinner and did some Mistresses marathon. What can I say? I have this crush on Josslyn Carver. 

Last night was something else. Sharing a bed with Ava. How I slept in her arms all night. Safe. Protected. She is gentle and soft. Waking beside her this morning was like being in heaven, and I need for that to continue. Honestly, I don’t know how I kept my hands to myself. When she climbed in beside me in nothing but an oversized tee and panties covering her body, I could feel myself ready to explode. I could feel my heart pounding harder than ever before. Did she sense that? Does she know what she does to me? I suspect she does, the smirk on her mouth as she kissed me before she left this morning confirmed that for me. 

I could spend my life waking beside her. I really could.

All these musings on what life has bestowed to me for the past eight weeks. Sitting at my regular table, I swirl the remainder of my coffee in the bottom of my extra-large cup and sigh. If she would just show up here now, my day would be complete. If I could just grab her scent for five minutes, her presence, I’d be set for the rest of the day.

“You look like you could use a refill.” Zari pulls me from my thoughts.

“Thanks.” Focusing on the fresh cup she has set down in front of me, I glance up and give her a thankful smile. “You need me?”

“No, we’re pretty quiet right now.”

“Yeah.” I scan the small crowd of customers and nod slowly.

“Take an extra ten, okay?” She squeezes my shoulder. “You look like you could use it.”

“Thanks, Zari.”

“Busy night, huh?” She wiggles her eyebrows, and that familiar look is in her eyes.

“Actually, no.” I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. “I told her we should take it slow and she was onboard with it.”

“And do you want to take it slow?” She arches an eyebrow.

“Nope.” I laugh. “But it’s the right thing to do.”

“Uh, says who?” My best friend gives me an incredulous look. “Huh?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug slightly. “Just figured it was.”

“Hey, if you want your girl…have her.” She gives me that motherly glare before turning on her heel and leaving me alone again.

I appreciate my best friend and the advice she gives me, but I’m genuinely trying to do the right thing. Even if it is killing me slowly inside, I know it will be worth it. I know that the moment my hands touch Ava’s skin, they will never touch another woman again. That’s how she makes me feel.

I’m probably totally off base with my expectations for this relationship, but if I don’t go wrong anywhere along the way, maybe Ava will fall for me too. Maybe she will sit in her office and think about me the way I’m sitting here thinking about her. Maybe, just maybe…this could be the rest of my life.

“Hi, pretty lady.” My palms suddenly becoming clammy, Ava’s scent hits me and a full smile greets her as I lift my head.

“H-Hi.” I clear my throat. “Didn’t expect to see you.”

“You should always expect to see me, Sara.” Setting her purse down, Ava takes a seat beside me. “Everything okay here?”

“Sure, yeah.”

“Just…you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders right now.”

“No, just thinking.” I grip my coffee cup, my eyes focused on the distressed wooden table it is resting on.

“About?”

“You.”

“Ah, can’t get me off your mind, huh?” She leans in, nudging my shoulder.

“Seems not.” I glance her way.

“Well, in that case…would it be alright if I see you tonight?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Our fingers lace together beneath the table. “Any plans?” I arch my eyebrow.

“Figured we could enjoy a walk together. You know, just be?”

“Sound’s perfect.” I lift Ava’s hand and press a kiss to her skin.

***

A message from my phone alerted me.

Hurry up. I miss you. - Ava 

God, this woman is killing me. She drops by at the coffee shop earlier today as if she sensed that I need to see her and she wants to see me this evening. I didn’t even know what cosmic powers this universe is working on but there are some days that I still couldn’t grasped why this amazing woman will give me the time of her day.

I know she isn’t the woman who has it all and knows it. I know she isn’t one of those women who expect life and what it has to offer to just fall at her feet. Yes, she may live on 5th Avenue and yes, her heels may probably cost more than my last home, but Ava was right. She doesn’t see what I see. She doesn’t think of herself as some big shot in the city. She is just Ava. Ava Sharpe…the woman who is breaking my heart with her kindness and her incredible personality.

Deciding that I look presentable enough, I spray a little light perfume to accompany my look for this evening. A simple pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a grey form-fitting hoodie is my choice of clothing tonight, but I feel good. I’m not worried about what Ava thinks of my appearance. She is attracted to me for who I am. Not my clothing preferences. So long as I remember that, this relationship is going to be so much more than my last.

Heading out of the bedroom that I’ve been occupying for far too long, Zari is sitting up on a kitchen stool, scrolling through her phone.

“I’m leaving.” I take the single lily, a Tiger lily from the counter that I bought after my shift.

“Well, shit!” She laughs. “Sara Lance buying a lady flowers?”

“Zari, It’s just one.” I try to prevent the blush I can feel creeping up my neck.

“Mmmm, until it’s a whole arrangement next time.” She purses her lips together.

“So?” My forehead creases. “So what if I want to buy Ava flowers? She deserves flowers. Every damn day.”

“Whoa.” Zari holds up her hand. “Who pissed on your chips?”

“Just…Sorry.” I drop my gaze, toying with the rose in my hand. “I’m trying, okay?”

“I know you are…I am just teasing you, Sara.”

“Right, yeah.” I give my best friend the slightest smile. “I should head out.”

“You coming home later? Should I put aside some dinner for you, or?”

“I don’t know yet.” I grab my jacket from the back of the chair pushed under the small four-seater dining table.

“Mmmm, so I’ll just see you when I see you,” Zari smirks. “Go have fun, Lance. God knows you deserve it.”

“I’ll call you okay?” I pull my best friend into a hug. “And thanks.”

“For what?”

“Being you, Zari.” I pull back and give my best friend a full smile.

Making my way to the door, I set Ava’s lily down on the table close the stack of shoes I almost tripped over this morning and slip my jacket over my shoulders. Ava is downstairs already and I am making her wait and I don’t want her to wait any longer, and honestly, I’ve been desperate to see her since she left the coffee shop earlier today. I won’t lie, though…it feels good to be wanted. It feels good to be me and not hated for it.

On my way down. - Sara

Stepping out into the corridor, I close the door and grip Ava’s lily tight in my hand. Deciding to take the stairs, I push through the door and take them two at a time. The less time I spend worrying, the more time I have with Ava.

Reaching the lobby, I step out onto the sidewalk and find Ava waiting for me, leaning against the bare brick, her leg bent at the knee and her foot pressed against the wall behind her.

Damn, she looks just so good in a pair of jeans, simple white tee and classic denim jacket.

“Hi.” I give her a broad smile as our eyes meet.

“Hi, yourself.” Her smile mirrors my own. “What’s that?” She points to the lily in my hand. “You have another woman to meet?” She asked me teasingly.

“Nope. Just the one…” Handing it over, I press a kiss below Ava’s ear and linger a little longer than usual. “For you.” I feel her shudder.

“It’s beautiful.” Ava’s soft fingertips stroke the petals and my mind begins to wonder how would it feel to have those fingertips on me. My skin. My body. Just roaming. Stop Lance! Remove those eyes from the fingers. I then decided to focus my gaze on that curious cute expression on Ava’s face. “A lily?”

“Yes, a lily. Not just any lily but a Tiger lily.”

“So? Are you gonna tell me why you are giving me a flower and why chose a Tiger lily?” I pondered on Ava’s question and took a deep breath.

“Okay, please don’t ask me why and how but in the middle of the day at work, I was kinda thinking of giving you something. And all that came to my mind was this amazing exchange between a couple in the movie called ‘Imagine Me & You’ that I watched awhile ago. It’s a gay themed movie trust me. One woman is a florist and she tells her lover that giving someone a lily means ‘I dare you to love me’. So, I googled it and discovered that Tiger Lily actually does mean that. I mean, I have gone through this dreary pessimistic phase and the optimist needed to breakthrough.” I looked deep into Ava’s grey blue pools. “The Tiger Lily is a loud, vibrant but also crass flower implying the need to bare all of your ugly self to another soul, daring them to love you, just the way you are.”

“Oh Sara.” Ava seemed at loss for words at that moment. I choose to stare at her blue grey orbs with such depth as if to bare my soul to her daring her to accept me as me, Sara Lance, with all my flaws, strengths and weaknesses. Ava cups my face in both of her hands. “I am determined to prove what I feel for you through my actions and words. I don’t want you to ever doubt in your mind about my affection for you Sara.” I gave her a full smile as I tuck some loose hair behind Ava’s ears. I tiptoed and gave Ava a soft kiss but pulled sooner. 

“So, where are we headed?”

“Central Park?” Ava suggests, her eyebrow raised.

“Let’s do this.” My hand slipping to her own, our fingers lace together, and we crossed the street. “Hey, um…Sorry I made you wait.”

“I don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” She side glances at me.

“Ava…” She squeezes my hand and shakes her head. 

“Nope. We’re not doing this.”

“Okay, sorry.”

“If you say sorry once more, I’m going to drag you to my place and make you forget all about the reasons you’re apologizing.”

“Tempting,” I smirk.

“So tempting.” Ava agrees. Her bottom lip suddenly between her teeth. “And not completely impossible.”

“Yep, very…very tempting.”

“Sara. You’re gonna be the death of me.” Ava groaned in frustration. “Slow, remember?”

“Right. Yeah.” A groan rumbling in my throat, I know she is struggling. I am too, though. This isn’t all totally one-sided. “Are you busy later this evening?”

“Only with you.” She shrugs before her eyes suddenly shoot my way. “I mean, dating…you know.”

“Ava…mmmm.” My thumb grazes her wrist. “I just…never mind.”

“What?” She stops us as we approach the entrance to Central Park. “Sara?” Ava tugs my hand and lightly squeeze it to encourage me.

“I kinda enjoyed waking beside you this morning.”

“Oh, you did huh?” Ava’s eyes narrow but a smile grazes her lips.

“And I thought maybe that could happen again.”

“Done deal.” She fists her hand in my hoodie and pulls me into a searing kiss.

I don’t know why kissing her feels so good, but it does. The ones before…nothing. Absolutely nothing compared to Ava. Heaven. That is exactly how her kisses feel. Like heaven. The softest, most delicate touch my body has ever experienced. Euphoric.

“Oh shit.” I breathe out, my fingertips pressing against my lips, savoring her taste.

“You ready?” Tilting her head a little, Ava motions her thumb in the direction of the park. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Taking a right as we reach the footpath, Ava tightens her grip on my hand and pulls my body a little closer to her own. When this year began, I didn’t for one second imagine I would have someone in my life. 

Thank god I left my horrible relationship. Look what I’ve gained.

“So, tell me something more about you that I still don’t know.” Ava nudges my shoulder.

“Ummm…”

“Anything. It doesn’t have to be personal and it can be totally random.”

“Okay…I play violin.” I shrug. 

“Well, that’s impressive.” Ava smirking at my reply. “But I already know that?”

“I love playing violin but I stopped when I met Nyssa,” I admit. “It wasn’t her kind of thing.”

“Did it have to be her kind of thing?” Ava looks at me with complete confusion. “I mean, did she have an allergy towards music or what?”

“No.” I laugh. “She just didn’t like it. I was out late some nights especially when attending night recitals or when the foundation held or take part on concerts and she wanted me home with her.”

“Asshole.” Ava scoffs.

“W-Who?” I ask. “Me?”

“No, beautiful.” She removes her hand from my own and instead wraps her arm around my waist. “Not you…”

“So, I just stopped anyway. No big deal.”

“But you enjoyed it, right? I mean I already heard you play and you are really good at it and please take the compliment.”

“Thank you. I love it.” I agree. “It was my escape. You know, just a getaway from the outside world.”

“You should totally play more and perhaps you can take in more classes if you only want.”

“Yeah, I don’t really…I don’t know.” I try my hand at nonchalance, but Ava sees right through it. She knows that I also love teaching the violin.

“What’s the issue?” She asks. “Because I love hearing you play. And I also know that you like teaching the kids. The way you describe them after your classes is filled with such joy and excitement.”

“Maybe one day I will talk to Gideon so she can give me a regular load but that would also mean changing schedules in the coffee shop.” I smile. “I have enough going on right now.”

“With me?”

“Mmmm…yeah.” I nod. “I wanna concentrate on us too.”

“And you can do that.” Ava shrugs. “I’m not worried about losing you to the violin, music and all.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Think about it, okay?” She asks. 

“Gosh, you’re nothing like her at all.” I laugh, shaking my head.

“Who? The ex?”

“Yeah.” I say. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring her up on our date.”

“No apology needed. Remember when I told you that I am here to listen when you need it? I am part of your support group Sara. Don’t forget that.” Ava holds up her free hand. “Tell me some more about her?”

“What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know. Just…anything.”

“Honestly, I don’t really have anything much to say about her.”

“Wow, she must have been so exciting to be around.” Ava laughs. “Sorry, I don’t mean to bash her.” She gives me an apologetic smile.

“It’s about time someone did.” I roll my eyes.

“What does that mean?”

“Her friends love her. Worship the ground she walks on.” I say. “They didn’t have to live with her, though. She was a complete and complicated bitch.”

“She really knocked you, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, like you couldn’t imagine.” I drop my gaze, my eyes focused on the gravel beneath my feet. “I stayed, though. My own problem, really.”

“Not at all.” Ava disagrees. “Everyone wants to work it out, Sara. Sometimes, things are just too far gone to ever get to a good place again.”

“I’m not sure I was ever at a good place with her,” I say honestly. “Just hoped.”

“And there is nothing wrong with that. You clearly loved her.”

“I did, in some way.” I glance Ava’s way. “But I wasn’t in love with her.”

“And that right there is the difference.” She gives me a half smile.

“What is?”

“You can’t stay just because you love someone. You have to be in love, too.”

“I know.” I stop us close to a bench and turn to face Ava fully. “I am good with what I have, I keep on telling myself?”

“Huh?” Her brow dips in confusion.

“Me. I know that I am good with what I have. I’m not vulnerable and I’m not needy. She just…that’s what she used to tell me. She used to tell me that I needed her. That I was nothing without her.”

“Hey.” Ava cups my face with both hands, her lips pressing against my own. 

“You are so much more without her.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I watched you, remember?” She arches her eyebrow.

“But how does that show you anything?”

“Your eyes…” She smiles as her thumb grazes my cheek. “They’re different. There is more life in them.”

“You think?”

“I know.” She says with a confidence. “Honestly, when you had that ring on your finger, you looked miserable, Sara. Yes, beautiful…but miserable.”

“Wow.” I release a deep breath. “You know me better than I thought.”

“No, I just remember how much I hated seeing you sad.”

“You’re something else, you know that, right?” Wrapping my arms around Ava’s waist, my head settles against her shoulder, her scent intoxicating and enveloping me.

“I want to take you home.” She whispers, her lips pressing against the top of my head. “I want you to stay the night. Would that be alright?”

“Sounds like the perfect end to this evening.” I sigh.

“Maybe we could enjoy some good coffee and light dinner together and then I have this gorgeous bottle of red at home waiting for us.”

“Lead the way then…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much dear readers who have been kind in leaving kudos, comments and even for bookmarking this story. Thank you to those of you who immersed themselves in the POVs of both characters and appreciating them. Your support means so much to me to continue writing and updating. I know that this story is filled with so many emotions so if you want to consider reading a lighter one check my other story "Breaking my Neighbor's Walls".
> 
> So....please tell me what you think about this update. Would love to hear from you.


	12. I’ll take my chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Sara’s relationship continues to progress in the direction that they both want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains adult material so please be warned.
> 
> \- I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.
> 
> \- If you could read my mind, I’m pretty sure you’d either be traumatized, sexually aroused or both.

AVA SHARPE

Tempus fugit. Twelve delightful weeks with Sara have already passed so quickly. We did movie and tv series marathons, cook, play games with friends, go out with friends, walk and ran together, talk about random stuff and sleep together for the past four weeks. Yes, sleeping but not what you have in your mind. 

Every time spent with Sara seemed to draw us more together. It makes both of us happy and connected. We don’t spend every day together but on those days that we can’t, we made sure to either text or call each other just to update how our day went. 

I like seeing Sara in her element. The months that flew by were kind to both of us. I appreciate that Sara wants to also focus on us. The truth is a good relationship does not just happen naturally. Like anything that you want to succeed in life, it must be worked on and tended on a regular basis.

I guess I do miss Sara, but it seems that I won’t be seeing her until this flu that I contracted passed. I seldom get sick, but I think I picked something yesterday from Gary who reported for work after two days on sick leave. I noticed that he was still sniffling and sent him home. By afternoon, I am already sporting a headache and was already sneezing. I managed to finish the day but as soon as I get home, I changed into comfortable clothes and sent Sara a hurried text informing her that I will turn early to bed because of a massive headache. I did not wait for a reply. As soon as my head touched the pillow, I was already out.

Today, with a coarse voice, I informed Nora that I will not report for work. She offered to drop by and check on me, but I refused her offer for I don’t want her to contract whatever it is that is making me ill right now. I dropped myself on the couch in my living area and pulled the blanket tighter around me. Grateful for the comfortable furniture, I wonder why is it that sick people often preferred the couch over the bed. My thoughts stopped as a round of wracking coughs consumed me and I struggle to catch my breath. 

Nose stuffy and runny at the same time, I had no choice but to breathe heavily through my mouth. My eyes slipped shut as a wave of dizziness hit me. It hurts to move but it also hurts not to move. Eventually the dizziness passed, I coughed and sneezed again. My throat sandpaper scratchy. Being sick really sucks. I hated to call Sara so early, but I knew she was already up. 

“Couldn’t wait to talk to me?” Sara teasingly greeted me.

“Yep, that’s it.” I heard myself croaked. I sounded horrible than I thought.  


"Whoa! Ava you don’t sound so hot.”

“Oh, I’m always hot, though right now it’s mostly because of fever.” I can hear Sara chuckling on the line.

“Do you need me to bring you anything?”

“No, I’ll be okay.” My sandpaper throat further inflamed with each word. “Just going to stay home and try to get better.”

“Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

“Yeah. Talk to you later.” Talking hurts so much. Even though I want to hear Sara more, my throat was not exactly a willing participant at this time.

“Okay. Feel better Ava.” 

The call disconnected and I put the phone on the side table. I lay down on the couch and spread the blanket over me. I am desperately hoping to catch a few hours of much needed sleep. 

Unaware of how much time had passed, I woke with a start to a noise in my kitchen. I took my phone, stood and crept towards the kitchen. I catch a glimpse of Sara’s figure. Close to the kitchen, my nose began to itch. I did my best to stop the hurricane-force sneeze but to no avail. The noise in the kitchen ceased.

“Ava?”

“Sara?” I sputtered as she came around the corner. “What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Sara said as she stepped closer and gave me a quick peck on the cheeks.

“Don’t do that! You’re going to get sick!” I protested too late.

“I’ll take my chances. Besides, it’s worth it.” Sara smirked and she turned back to the kitchen. “Hope you don’t mind that I let myself in with the key you entrusted to me. I texted you before I came and knocked when I got here. You didn’t answer so I used the key. Then I saw you on the couch and didn’t have the heart to wake you.” 

I followed Sara, curious on what she was concocting in my kitchen. She is facing the stove and I can tell from her arm motion that she is stirring something in a pot.

“You’re making me soup?” I asked.

“Well, yeah, isn’t it customary to have soup when you’re sick?” Sara looked at me amused. “Now, please behave, take a sit. The soup won’t be long.” My stomach growled at the mention of food. I haven’t had any dinner nor breakfast.

I did as requested and watched as she comfortably moved around my kitchen easily finding everything she needed. A slight smile grazed her lips as she does the task. I love watching her like this.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked as she placed a bowl of soup and spoon in front of me.

“What? Oh…Mmmm…nothing.” I pulled the bowl of soup closer. “Too bad I can’t smell anything. This looks wonderful though.” I eat as Sara watched me. A few minutes of silence passed. “Sara, you never told me why you are here.” My eyes met her bright baby blues.

“To take care of you.” She simply replied. “Speaking of, have you taken any meds yet?”

“Actually no. I just only slept.” And after the words left my mouth, a sneeze followed. Sara took the box of Kleenex in the countertop and hand it to me along with a paper bag.

“I took the liberty stopping to the pharma on my way here. There’s something in there for fever, colds and cough."

“What have I done to deserve you?”

“You’d do the same for me.” She gave me a smile. I kinda liked being taken care of after so long of being alone.

“Wait, how did you get the afternoon off?”

“Zari covered for me. Told the boss that I needed to take care of some personal things.”

“Oh, so I am a thing?” I said teasingly.

“Just eat your soup so you could take your meds.” I can see the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. I am already feeling a little better.

***

I have regained my strength back after a week with Sara’s help. I mostly dozed off but I can feel Sara’s presence in my place. She would drop by to make sure that I have something to eat, take my meds and I am hydrated. My only worry is infecting her with my contagious state. It seems that her immune system though is far better than mine. To say that I am grateful is an understatement. Each passing day that I get better, it made me realized how lucky I am that this woman is choosing to give me her time, taking care of me. I can’t even start how many feelings her actions stir in me.

When we started sleeping on each other places, I decided to give her a key to my own place. I trust Sara. I seemed to make the right decision after the event that just followed. I miss sleeping beside Sara whether it’s in her bed or mine. On the duration that I am not well, I did not let her stay longer than necessary. So last night was something that we have both looked forward. After making sure I disinfected my place, I invited Sara to stay the night. 

Last night. Wow. How Sara slept in my arms. Safely. Soundly. How her breath tickled the skin of my neck as she slept pressed against me. I'm no stranger to women and I'm no stranger to having them in my bed, but I know this was different. We fit too good. Our bodies, molded together like we were created for each other. My eyes closed last night and everything felt exactly how it should. Like I've always wanted it to feel. Just…pure contentment coursing through me.

I don't know how Sara is feeling this morning, but she didn't seem to complain last night once I'd reiterated my desire for her to come to my place and stay the night. Honestly, a part of me still expected her to decline but when she said yes…I could feel my heart beating out of my chest.

Does she realize the effect she has on me? Does she think that I don't get hot under the collar just looking at her? Because I do. I totally do. Her skin is the softest my hands have ever touched. I hope she knows just how drop dead gorgeous I find her. It isn’t just her body or how she looks. It’s everything. Her personality. Her entire being. It’s the little things she does that make me smile. How she even perfectly breathes.

“Good morning.” Sara's sleep filled voice startles me, my coffee cup almost smashing to the floor.

“Good morning.” A broad smile plastered on my face, I round my kitchen counter and set my cup down. “Did I wake you?”

“No.” Sara closes the distance between us and my eyes land on her chest.

Last night, I gave her some clothes to sleep in, but now…now I want to take them off her body and throw them to the floor. Hell, I want to throw her to the floor and climb on top of her. Her hardened nipples poking through the fabric of my white tank top, I clear my throat and my hand settles on Sara’s hip.

“Can I share breakfast with you?” I ask, my voice low. Trembling.

“I'd like that.” A kiss pressing below my ear, I grip Sara’s hip a little harder and prevent her from leaving this space we're sharing right now. She took my coffee cup and sip from it and gave me a sweet smile before placing it on the table.

“Mmmm….Can you put your hoodie on?” I whisper. I pressed my bottom lip close to her own. “You're driving me a little crazy in here.”

“Mmmm….Maybe that was my plan all along.” Her sleepy voice sending a shiver down my spine, goosebumps prick my skin and my eyes close.

“Was that your plan?” I swallow hard. Please, say yes.

“Yes.” A slight draft tickling the skin of my stomach, my oversized tee is suddenly being lifted over my head and thrown to the floor behind me.

“Shit.” Gasping as Sara’s fingertips trail my lower stomach, I'm standing in my kitchen wearing nothing but my panties.

“You're so beautiful Ava.” Pressing her lips to my collarbone, Sara’s right hand travels up my stomach and her thumb brushes my nipple.

“Sara…” I still her hand. “Are you sure you want this?”

“You?” She pulls back and arches an eyebrow. “Am I sure I want you?”

“Yeah.” My eyes closing as her breath washes over my right nipple, her thumb toys with my left and I'm suddenly feeling a little unsteady on my feet.

“So sure. Very very sure. One hundred percent sure.” The flat of her tongue tasting my skin, Sara sucks my nipple into her mouth and I grip the kitchen counter for support. “Mmmm… perfect.”

“Oh my god.” My knuckles turning white when Sara rolls her tongue over my sensitive bud, she sucks it between her lips and tugs. “O-Ohhh.” Trailing the tip of her tongue up between my breasts, it reaches my jawline, and finally my ear.

“Do I make you wet, Ava?”

“Oh…shit.” Her nails gently dragging up my inner thigh, she pushes my panties to one side and glides a single digit through my folds. “Sara, fuck!” My legs trembling, I feel her smile against my neck before pressing her body against my own, forcing me back against the counter.

“You want me, right?” A slight hesitation in her voice causing me to furrow my brow, she pulls back and chews on her bottom lip. “Ava?” Crushing my lips into her own, our kiss is heated and more than needy. It's everything. It's animalistic and it's complete desperation for one another's touch.

“I want you so much,” I reassure her. My hand cradles the side of her neck, my thumb resting on her cheek. “You make me crazy.”

“I need you out of these…” Tugging my panties down my thighs, they slip the rest of the way down my legs and I step out of them. Sara’s soft hands worshipping my body, she wraps them around the backs of my thighs and lifts me up onto the counter. I don't know where the hell her confidence has come from, but I'm taking it. Whatever she gives me, I'm taking and never giving it back.

“You've no idea how long I've waited for this.” Standing between my legs, she pulls me in by the back of my neck and kisses me with everything she has. I don't know what she has been through in the past exactly, but she isn't going to feel that way with me. 

“I need to taste you Ava...” Spreading my legs, Sara’s fingertips dance over the skin of my thighs and my palms plant flat against the marble surface beneath me.

“And you will baby.” Lifting my hips a little, encouraging what I know is about to start, she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and moans.

“You're this wet…for me?” Sara presses her thumb to my clit.

“Damn right I am.” Sitting back on my elbows, Sara lifts my right leg up onto the counter and opens me up to her. “Please…”

“Mmmm… begging will get you everywhere.” Her head disappearing between my legs, she blows gently against my clit before taking a long firm lick along the length of my soaked sex.

“Oh, shit.” My fingers tangling in her gorgeous mane, I'm living for this moment. This. Sara. She is my oxygen right now. How anyone could ever hurt her is a struggle for me to understand.

A single finger teasing my entrance, a whimper falls from my mouth and I drop to my back. Sara knows exactly what she is doing to me right now, and I suspect she has craved this too. That connection. Caring about someone and that care being reciprocated. It’s just who she is.

Pushing two fingers inside of me, my back arches from the kitchen counter I'm laid out on and her tongue works my swollen clit. Her concentration firmly on me, my hips buck against her mouth and her pace increases. That familiar sensation when that special spot has been given the attention it craves, my eyes close and my mouth falls open slightly.

“Right there…S-a-raaaaa.”

My grip in her hair tightening a little, my thighs tremble and that familiar burn in the pit of my stomach rises. The intensity of an orgasm never felt like this before for me, my muscles tighten, and the grip of her left hand becomes more noticeable as it wraps around my thigh a little more.

Bucking and writhing against my counter, Sara doesn't let up with her movements. She pulls back, her thumb resting on my throbbing clit. One simple gentle movement and my orgasm rolls through me. My body trembles. My legs give out. Sara…she watches on in delight. I can feel her eyes on me. I can feel that intense burn of her stare mixing with the intensity of my orgasm.

“Oh, god!” My chest heaving and my breathing erratic, I place the palm of my hand over my forehead and try to ground myself. I'm not in my body right now.

“You okay?” She takes my hand and pulls me up into a seated position.

“You…are…never...leaving.” I press a kiss to Sara’s forehead as I cup her face, my legs wrapping around her waist. “Ever.”

“That good, huh?”

“Incredible.”

***

Still. We're lying still and Sara’s heart is pounding against my own. I'm not entirely sure how this day happened, but it did. It happened and we're tangled up in one another's embrace. Our legs wrapped around each other. My arms, holding Sara close. Tight. Like I never want her to leave my place again. We managed to go back in the bedroom, breakfast all forgotten.

I think she is beginning to understand that she deserved better than what she was getting from Nyssa. I know it isn’t my place to have an opinion on her last relationship, but I don’t want her to ever think that she is less than anyone else. Nobody should ever feel that way. We’re all unique. We all have different things to give. 

Someone like Nyssa doesn’t deserve to have Sara in her life. She doesn’t deserve the happiness I know Sara can bring. I just hope this isn’t short-lived between us. It would devastate me. Do I believe that we will be good together? For sure. Am I worried that she won’t always feel the same way as me? Unfortunately, yes.

I can see how hurt she has been in the past. I can see how she is still guarding herself even though she knows she doesn’t need to do that with me. I felt it in her hesitation when she asked me if I wanted her. Those eyes. The insecurity that would still sometimes flash in them. Nyssa did that to her, and I don’t ever want Sara to have to think about that woman again. Not while I’m around, and I’m going to be here for a long time. I love it every time she takes a bold step breaking the mold that her past confined her. I admire her courage in building back herself.

My fingertips trailing up and down Sara’s naked back, her skin is the softest. That curve of her hip as she lays on the side just inviting me to settle my hand there. We haven’t left my bed. We haven’t moved. I took my sweet time showing her how I feel. I know that her glow is a mirror of my own.

Honestly, I didn’t know how I would feel once I got my hands on her. I didn’t know if the mystery of this woman would disappear and I’d be left with nothing but the truth is, that didn’t happen at all. I find Sara just as intriguing as I did before she took control in my kitchen earlier.

“You’re quiet.” She whispers.

“Just enjoying you.” I press a kiss to her hair.

“I don’t think I can ever leave this bed again, Ava.” Her grip around my waist tightening, I can feel every emotion seeping from her being.

“So, don’t.” I close my eyes, a small smile curling on the corner of my mouth.

“If only it were that simple.” Sara sighs. “We don’t need to move yet, right?”

“Not at all.”

“I’m not interrupting your day, am I?” Those eyes finding mine as she tilts her head up a little.

“I wouldn’t call this interrupting anything.” I shift down the bed and face Sara a little better. The crisp white sheet falling below her breasts, I have to concentrate on anything other than her gorgeous body. “This is all perfect, in my opinion.”

Sara’s finger and thumb take the pendant locket that opened in my necklace, she studies the picture and inscription on it and glances back up at me.

“My sister, Ali.” I give her a small smile. “Drunk driver.”

“I’m so sorry.” She places it back perfectly on my chest before settling her palm over it.

“It was a long time ago…”

“Still.” Her hand finds the side of my face, her thumb brushing away a tear I didn’t know had fallen. “I imagine it’s hard.”

“At times…” I clear my throat of any emotion.

“I’m sorry…I made you cry.” Sara leans up and kisses a tear from my cheek.

“Hey, it’s okay.” I take this opportunity to pull her down on top of me. Our skin touching in all the right places. “Don’t feel bad.”

“Is there anything I can do?” She braces herself on her hands.

“You could kiss me…” My smile widens. “You know, make me feel better.”

“You….” She rolls her eyes playfully. “But..you just read my mind.”

Our lips meeting softly, my hands find Sara’s back and I pull her body flush against me. I don’t know how she does it, but she calms me. She makes me feel like the best version of myself I could ever possibly be. We may have only known each other for a short time, and dated just a few months, but I feel like I’ve known her all of my life. I feel like I was made for her. Everything just feels so right with Sara.

My past lovers, they don’t exist. They don’t interfere with my thoughts anymore. Since this woman gave me the time of day some months ago, I feel like my life has come full circle. I don’t know why or in what way, but I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. In this bed. With this woman. Holding her close and just giving my all to her. Hoping that one day, she will allow me to love her wholeheartedly. Fully. With everything that I am.

“You feel so good against me.” My lips trail Sara’s jawline.

“I know.” She moans, her legs straddling my hips.

“I never want to let you go.” Sitting up, my arms wrap around Sara’s waist and she glances down at me, her hands finding my hair.

“Then don’t.” She gives me a sweet smile, her bottom lip brushing mine.

“Maybe I won’t,” I whisper against her mouth.

Her hands on my skin. Her nails grazing the base of my neck. Every sensation Sara creates shoots me into oblivion. Every moan. Every breath. All of it is for me. How she looks at me, her eyes focused totally on my own. How she kisses me like I’m all that she has. I want to make this woman mine forevermore. I have to make her mine.

Guiding Sara’s body down onto the bed, her legs are still wrapped around my waist, a slick wet heat covering the skin of my lower stomach. Her eyes are burning bright and, in this moment, the world could end, and I wouldn’t notice. The floor could fall out from beneath me and Sara would still be all I could see.

My lips softly trailing her collarbone, Sara’s legs fall open either side of my body and grant me all the access I need to the masterpiece before me. A delight. Her chest rising and falling in anticipation, my lips trail lower before my tongue takes the path to her soaked sex. Soft trimmed curls sitting perfectly in place, I veer to the right and nip at her protruding hip bone.

Her thighs trembling as the palm of my right hand smooths the sensitive skin of her left leg, she spreads a little wider for me and my lips press a gentle kiss to her inner thigh.

“I’ve got you baby.” My words are barely above a whisper, but I know she hears me. I know she is taking every word in. Every movement. Every breath. She is fully present and I have to have her. I have to touch her. Taste her. This woman is mine.

“Ava.” She breathes out, a neediness in her tone. “I need you to touch me.”

Smiling as my tongue pokes out, I settle comfortably between Sara’s legs, my mouth salivating at the thought of having her to myself. Her glistening center just drawing me in, my thumb presses against her sensitive clit and her back arches.

That low groan which sends me insane filtering through the room, a smile curls on my mouth and I know that I’m doing something right. I know that Sara is comfortable here. With me. As one. Separating her folds, the tip of my tongue teases her aching bud, her body begging for my touch. For more of this. More of me. That pleasure. The ultimate high.

“Y-Yesss.” Those beautiful hips lifting from my bed, Sara fists her hands in the sheet beneath her body and buries her head deeper into the mattress.

“You taste divine.”

“Oh god.” Sara’s breath catching in her throat as I take her clit between my lips, a single finger slips inside of her and her body shakes in desperation.

Slipping in a second finger, her walls throb around them and I know that Sara is ready for me. I know that she is ready to let go whenever I provide her with a little more. That something extra to tip her body over the edge. Curling my fingers, they find that spot I know drives women wild.

“F-Fuck.” Sara’s hips meeting my every thrust, they lift from the bed and rock against my mouth. Her arousal coating my tongue so perfectly, I lap up whatever I can get before pushing a little deeper. A little harder. A little more.

Her walls pulsing, I stroke her clit with the flat of my tongue and her moans are like music to my ears. Everything about Sara is what I see in my future and this right now…I have no words to describe it. To some, it may be the simple act of sex, but to me? To me, this is what I’ve dreamt about since I found her at the coffee shop.

“I-I, Ohhh…. Avaaaaa.”

“God, I want you to come so hard for me, Sara.”

“Shit. That feels so good.” Her knuckles turning white, she removes one hand from the sheet and tangles her fingers in my hair, forcing my mouth against her a little harder. “Y-Yes. Please.”

Her chest heaving, I pull back and replace my tongue with my thumb. Every emotion coursing through my veins, I’d happily spend my life making Sara feel good. Whether that is in bed or in her everyday life…I’m completely here for it all.

A gasp falling from her mouth, it hangs open slightly and her eyes slam shut. Shaking and writhing against the soft mattress we have both occupied since last night, I could really get used to her being here. In my home. Comfortable and protected.

“O-Ohhhh…..fuck!....Avaaaa!” Sara trembled. Her orgasm struck her hard. Her hips eventually slow their pace, I slowly pull out of Sara and lap up her juices. God, she tastes so good.

My lips working their way back up her stomach, a smile curls on my mouth as I reach her neck. Her pulse prominent.

“You.” I press a kiss to her lips. “Just…you.”

“Don’t move yet.” She whispers as my body settles on top of her own. “Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I stared at her bright baby blues.

“That was mind blowing. And You, you..are..amazing Ava Sharpe. The wait was definitely worth it.” Sara punctuated and breathed the words before bringing her lips to mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the progression of my outline for both stories, it so happened that both Chapter 12 contains a deeper intimate interaction for our beloved characters. I hope that the variation on how things progresses will not get lost.
> 
> Thank you for your continuous support. Would love to hear what you think on this update.


	13. No, not good enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava and Sara are in a good place but a question from Zari turned Sara’s thoughts upside down. She started to evaluate where her relationship with Ava really stands. It also helps that she was able to get some good advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. – Arthur Somers Roche

SARA LANCE

Three weeks later…

“So, why are you sitting at my kitchen counter?”

“You know why, Zari.” I roll my eyes, playfully.

“Ava will be back today, right?”

“Yeah.” My heart skips a beat at the thought of seeing the gorgeous blonde.

“So?”

“So, what?” My forehead creases. “Why the twenty questions?”

“Because you should be out buying sexy lingerie or something, right?”

“Uhhh…ha… no.” I scoff.

“You have to keep your woman happy, Lance.” Zari shakes her head in disappointment. “You don’t want her attention landing on someone else.”

“Yeah, because you are a shining example, right?” I glance around at the apartment.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She stops in front of me, her hands on her hips.

“Well, where is your woman?” I arch an eyebrow. “I mean, you’re so interested in my relationship, but what about yours?”

“I’m good.” She shrugs. “Don’t need someone else to complete me.”

“Neither do I.” I say in a matter-of-fact manner.

“Alright, look....” She pulls herself up onto the stool beside me.

“Here we go.” I look up to the ceiling, feigning interest. “Saint Zari.”

“Hey…” She frowns. “I just want this to be your happy ever after.”

“Things are all good, Zari.” I settle my hand over her own. “Great, even.”

“But you have to keep it that way.” 

“And that is your concern because?”

“Because you’re my best friend and I don’t want to see this turn to shit.”

“I appreciate that but….” I laugh. “We aren’t even exclusive right now.”

“Y-You’re not?” Zari looks at me in horror.

“No, and that is okay,” I say. 

“You guys have been dating for almost four months and banging each other for the past month and you aren’t exclusive?” She sounds concerned but I don’t understand why. “That’s not good.”

“Okay, what do you mean?” I hold up my hand. “Seriously?”

“You guys should totally be together by now, Sara.” Zari shakes her head before pinching the bridge of her nose. “Have you even discussed it?”

“Well, no,” I reply. “Things just feel good how they are. I’m not planning on sleeping with anyone else and I don’t think Ava too. Maybe it’s just an unspoken agreement we have going on, I don’t know.”

“No, not good enough.” Zari disagrees.

“Uh, but why?”

“Because if she finds someone else…she will throw that back at you.” Zari sighs. “She will tell you she didn’t think it mattered ‘because you’re not exclusive’.”

“Ava wouldn’t do that to me.” I scoff. “We know what we have.”

“Fine.” Zari throws up her hands. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

A silence falling between us, I can feel a heaviness settling in the pit of my stomach. I know I’m only beginning to worry because Zari has put a fear in my mind, but I don’t like this feeling I have. I don’t like feeling unsure about what Ava and I have at this moment. Our relationship has been perfect these past few months and I didn’t believe we had to have any sort of discussion to make us official.

I spend almost every waking hour at Ava’s arms. I share dinner with her most evenings. We are quite literally always together. Surely that says we’re together, right? Surely, we don’t need to have a discussion about what we are.

Damn it, Zari.

Why can’t my best friend just leave me well enough alone? Why does she have to come out with the things she sometimes says? I know she means well and I know she just wants what is best for me, but now I’m worried. Now I’m not sure what Ava wants. I took my phone and began typing a message.

What time are you back in the city? - Sara

Setting my phone down on the kitchen counter in front of me, I watch my screen, intent on burning a hole through the device with my stare.

Not too sure yet. Everything okay? - Ava 

Yeah, can I see you tonight? - Sara 

I don’t know when I will be home, but you can use your key Sara. - Ava 

We don’t usually decide on our plans based on the time. We don’t usually sleep until the early hours. Yes, I’m barely functioning the following day, but I rally. I rally because the thought of not having Ava all over my body is too much to take.

“You’re quiet.” Zari nudges my shoulder. “Wanna talk about it?”

“No. Zari please. You just create scenarios that don’t even exist.”

Climbing down from the kitchen stool, I head for the bedroom door just to turn back to Zari.

“You know, we don’t all play around…”

“Huh?”

“You. You just can’t be happy for me, can you?”

“I-I am happy for you.” Zari’s brow creases. “Why would you think that?”

“Why did you have to say that to me?” My voice breaks.

“Hey, Sara.” My best friend rushes to my side. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Do you believe that this is going to work out?”

“I believe that you deserve to be happy…and Ava makes you happy.”

“That isn’t what I asked you.” I study her face.

“I just…I don’t understand why you haven’t made it official yet.” Zari sighs.

“We are just taking this how we want to, Zari. Can we not do that?”

“Of course, you can.” She gives me a small smile. “I’m sorry for interfering.”

“I think I’m going to dress and head out for a few hours.” Pushing the guest bedroom door open, I glance over my shoulder and find my best friend watching me. “See you later.”

Closing the door, I lean my body against it and look down at the phone in my hands. Is there a reason we haven’t made this official yet? Do I have something to worry about? I haven’t felt like I need to worry but then Zari happened and now I don’t know anything.

If Ava wants to be something more, she is forward enough to ask me, right?. She is more than confident in that department. I know this isn’t all on her shoulders and I know it isn’t on her terms, but I’m not good at this kind of thing. A message from Ava interrupted my thoughts.

I’m aiming to be home for five. I’ll call you when I get home if you’re not there. - Ava 

No problem. It can wait if you’re tired. - Sara

I’ll call you. - Ava 

Ava knows I don’t barge in her unit even if she had given me a key already. I will wait for her call before I come over. Releasing a deep breath, I throw my phone to the bed and drop down on the edge of it. Lying back, my body connects with the mattress and I close my eyes. Maybe Zari is right. Maybe this is just how Ava wants to keep it. I wouldn’t usually be concerned if she told me she would call me but I can feel myself falling into panic mode and I really don’t want to. 

***

I’ve been walking around New York for a little over three hours and honestly, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing. A little window shopping kept me occupied for a while but now Ava is back on my mind. She is always on my mind, but I’m trying to push my fears away. I’m trying to think less about what could be and focus on what we have right now. A good relationship. Sure, we aren’t called anything just yet, but does it have to be that way? Do we have to label us?

Should we be in an actual relationship because society says it’s the right thing to do? I don’t know. I do know that the more I think about it, the more my head hurts. It hurts and I’m over it.

Are you busy? Can I call? – Sara

Give me 5 and I will call you. – Laurel

Laurel can definitely help me. I know that I can always rely on my sister. My relationship with my sister was the only one left that I kept from Nyssa. Given Nyssa’s background with her family, I don’t want her to keep me away from Laurel. I made sure that my communication lines with my sister is always intact. I must admit that I kept things from Laurel. Part of me doesn’t want to but I don’t want my sister to be dragged in whatever drama that was happening in my life with Nyssa back then. 

It was only when I properly took the time to have some heart therapy that I managed to tell Laurel everything that happened in my relationship with Nyssa. I have prepared myself that my sister will get angry at me for not telling her but none of that happened. Yes, she told me that it hurts her that I didn’t tell her what I have gone through but mostly she told me that she understands me but made me promise that it will not happen again. Laurel told me that whatever I need, she will always be there for me. She even offered that I visit her in Boston with everything on her account but I declined.

While my relationship with Ava is getting better and better, I can say the same thing is also happening with the relationship I have with my sister. I share more on what’s happening in my life to her, including Ava. I haven’t gotten to the part of introducing Ava to Laurel yet in one of our video calls, but I am hoping that will happen soon. Even better if they actually meet face to face.

My phone alerted me of an incoming call and I immediately picked it up.

“Hey!” 

“Hello to you too baby sis. Everything alright?”

“Actually, no.”

“Alright. Talk to me. What happened Sara?”

“It’s Zari….no it’s Ava.”

“What happened to Ava? If I am correct, Ava is on a business trip, right?

“Yeah, that’s right. Okay I am not being clear so let me try again. Everything is going good between Ava and me but Zari….Zari told me something that made my head hurts right now.”

“So what did Zari said?” 

“She asked me why Ava and I aren’t making things official yet?”

“Let me guess. It made your mind start running if you already need to put a label on your relationship?”

“Yes.”

“Have you talked with Ava about it?”

“No. Not yet anyway. Laur, I don’t know. Would Ava want that with me? What if she doesn’t want to be exclusive?” Suddenly an image of a redhead woman wrapping her arms on Ava popped into my head and suddenly my chest hurts.

“Sara, do you think Ava doesn’t want an exclusive relationship with you? From what you have told me so far, most of your free time are spent with her. Ava gave you the time that you needed and was very patient.”

“Mmmm…I don’t know Laur.”

“Do you want to know what I think? I think, Ava is just waiting for you. She will not get ahead of herself. As confident as she is, she is following your lead on this Sara. When you want things slow, she was all in, remember?”

“But…but she has this friend.”

“What about the friend? Ohhh…. Was that the friend that you were jealous of?”

“Laurel!”

“I am just teasing you baby sis. Look, that happened before you started dating and sleeping together. Do you think that Ava is the kind of woman who just sleeps around?”

“No.”

“Good. And tell me, has Ava done something that breaks your trust on the duration of your dating?”

“No. She is amazing Laur.”

“Then talk to her Sara. The woman gave you a freaking key to her home. If you two decide to put a label on your relationship, that’s between the two of you. But I get Zari’s concern for you. All things are comfortable now and you don’t want to change that but is it all what you want? Are you already contented, or do you want more? Be honest to me Sara.”

“Arrrgghhhh… I hate it when you rile me with your lawyer probing skills…but…Yes. I want more with Ava.”

“Ha!...so there it goes. You have to initiate the talking soon. It may be uncomfortable, but I know that Ava will listen to you.” 

“Thanks, Laur.”

“Anytime sis.”

“I hope that you would meet her.”

“I would like that very much.”

“Bye Laur and thanks again.”

After ending the call, it was then that I saw Ava’s message.

Hey you. I am trying to reach you but your line seems busy. Just got home. - Ava

Deciding to be brave, I glance down the street I’m standing on and I can see Ava’s building in my line of sight. I want to be brave and bold and just show up at her place. Kiss her. Tell her how much I’ve missed her. I want to fully take my life back once and for all and to do that, I have to stop worrying.

Smiling at the thought of seeing Ava soon, my feet pound the sidewalk and I head in the direction of her home. I’m not looking overly attractive right now, but I know Ava likes me regardless of how I’m dressed. Whether I’m wearing makeup or not. She likes what she sees despite everything I believe about myself.

Reaching the entrance to the expensive 5th Avenue home Ava owns, I straighten myself out a little and approach the double glass doors. My brow creasing as I catch sight of the elevator, I quickly move out of sight and press my back against the wall. Ava is home. 

Standing on Ava’s door, I can hear my heart pounding. I knocked; something clicks then the door opened.

God, I’d fallen in love with her. Ava’s smiling face greeted me. 

“It’s you.”

“Yep. It’s me.” I can feel that my face is about to break with the huge smile on it. I immediately launched myself to Ava. Her scent surrounding and comforting me. Ava chuckled but hugged me. 

I saw Ava’s luggage near the door. When I removed my eyes on it, it landed on a familiar face watching me so intently. Alex. This is a big deal. For me, anyway. I’d like to believe that I’m going to be perfectly fine when I walk back to this place, but I don’t know right now. I think I’m going to fall apart. Why? Because Ava had gotten inside of me. My head and my heart. My thoughts and emotions are racing as if competing in a marathon. What is Alex doing in here? How long have she been here?

Damn it. I need to think. I’m not sure I can do this right now but Ava’s hold on me is where I am getting my strength. A moment of fight or flight. I can do this.

“Hi, Alex…right?” I untangled myself from Ava.

“Yes, hi.” She stands and holds out her hand.

“Alex this is Sara…..” Ava was about to say more but stopped herself.

“Great to meet you.” I took out the offered hand.

“Alex, make yourself at home. I will just need a five with Sara.” 

“Sure.” Even before the reply came out from Alex’s mouth, Ava already took my hand and ushered me to the bedroom.

When the door closed, I was pulled into an earth-shattering kiss. All insecurities and worries abated. When Ava pulled, I can see the smirk on her face, and she winked at me and my heart is doing some backflips. God, what this woman can do to me.

“That is how I want to be greeted when I get home, so you would know. Better keep that in mind for future reference Ms. Lance.”

“So bossy Ms. Sharpe.” And we both laughed. “Missed you.”

“Missed you more.”

“You had plans with Alex?” I am trying to be nonchalant, but I know that Ava caught the meaning of my question.

“Let me get rid of her and we will talk.” With that said, Ava left the room leaving me with my thoughts.

I know we live totally different lives, but if Ava had plans, she would tell me, and I wouldn’t shown up here. I did not show up here unannounced and Ava informed me that she was already home. 

What time did Ava got home? When did Alex got here? Maybe nothing is going on between them. I feel uneasy knowing that her best friend is the woman she used to bang whenever they both needed someone. No strings, she said. 

My chest tightens and my knees weaken so I decided to sit on the bed. The bed that I am now getting used to sharing with Ava. I know that she is just outside of this room, but I miss her already. I miss her smile, her grey blue eyes, those soft pink lips and her arms surrounding me. Ava gives me that feeling like I had something in my life worth sticking around for. Ava is something special, but she isn’t mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in awe with the support you are giving me on both stories. For those who keeps on giving this kudos and even for the bookmarks, thank you so much. To those who even took the time to leave comments, be it known that I appreciate it so much. Thank you for the compliments and for sharing your thoughts.


	14. You are more than good enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava had that much needed talk with Alex and later on with Sara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears. – Mark Anthony

AVA SHARPE

I left Sara in the bedroom and I may have a good guess on what’s running on that head of hers and I can’t really blame her. It doesn’t take a genius what she is trying to ask if I have plans with Alex. Sara and I will definitely have to talk but I need to talk to Alex first. I know that both of them are surprised seeing the other in here. Sara’s change in breathing and temporary stiffened state was already an indicator of her shock. Alex was also equally perplexed when she saw Sara jumped into my arms. So far, nobody has bolted yet. 

“Hey Alex.”

“What did just happen?” Alex’s hand settles on my back, but I shrug it off.

“No! Alex please. It was already bad enough that she thinks you’re here and I was…or have plans to sneak around with you.”

“You told her who I was?” Alex asks, shocked. “Why would you do that?”

“Because Sara deserves the truth.” I sigh. “She isn’t just some lay.”

“No, clearly not.”

“You told me that you will drop by and I texted her the moment I got home.”

“Why?” She asks. “You texted me that I can come here Ava when I asked you.”

“Because I needed your help. I want you to meet her.”

“Help with what exactly Ava?”

“With Sara” I say. “How I feel about her.”

“How do you feel about her?” Alex shifts uncomfortably beside me.

“I want a relationship with Sara.”

“If she can’t trust us being around each other. No, don’t think she is worth it?” Alex scoffs. My forehead creases.

“You don’t even know her yet.” I give Alex an incredulous look. “How dare you!”

“You know what?” She stands and shakes her head. “I’m not fighting with you on this. If you want to pursue a woman who has trust issues, you’re batshit crazy. You know it will never work.”

“Why are you so concerned?”

“Because I want the best for you,” Alex says, her hand settling on my shoulder. I glance up at her. 

“But only if what’s best for me is you, right?”

“We have a good thing Ava.” She shrugs. “You know we do.”

“But I need more, Alex. I need love. A home. A life partner.”

“Shit! That just got deep.” She laughs.

“And this is why you and I are totally different.” I smile when I realize that I’m wasting my time. “Just…go. You know what, I can figure this out myself.”

“Sure, looks like it.” She arches her eyebrow. “Why did you tell me that I can come here today?”

“Because I want to tell you that I’ve fallen for her, Alex” I admit.

“Really?” She scrunches her nose. “Already?”

“Yeah, we have been dating for almost four months now. She’s special.” A smile curls on my mouth. “She just…she’s the one I want.”

“I know I’m not much around Aves. So, why did you need my help?”

“I guess as my friend, I was looking for your approval.” I study Alex’s face. “I don’t know why…maybe, because you have been one of my few oldest and longest friends.”

“I don’t have an opinion, Ava. You know I’m not into all that fairy tale shit. I like to fuck and that’s where it ends.”

“I know.” I nod slowly. “As my friend, I thought maybe you could tell me what to do.”

“About what? Loving her?”

“Yeah, loving her. Sharing to you how I feel for her. What I see in our future. Even asking her to move in with me and the whole nine yards. Isn’t that what friends are for?” I clear my throat.

“You guys have been together for like what….a few months.” Alex scoffs. “You’re not serious.”

“Do I look like I’m not serious?” I stand, throwing up my hands. “I can’t live my life how you do, Alex. I need so much more than this.”

“Then I don’t even know why you are asking my opinion.” She sighs.

“No, I don’t either.” I laugh. 

“I think I’m just going to leave.”

“Yeah, that would be best.” I agree. “I just…I’ll call you.”

Taking her purse from my kitchen counter, Alex heads for the door and turns back to face me. 

“Maybe I should avoid being around while you do what you’re doing.”

“If you feel you need to do that, okay…”

“I-I do.” Alex agrees.

“Alex, why did you want to come see by the way?” I narrow my eyes.

“Usual.” She gives me a half smile.

“I’m sorry, Alex.” I pull her into a hug. “So sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just…I should go.” Alex steps out into the corridor and clears her throat. “See you around, Ava.”

“Bye, Alex.”

Closing my door and locking it, I need a few minutes to process what has happened since I arrived back from my business trip. I hated being away from Sara and it was at that point when I realized just what she meant to me. That I love her. When Alex sent me a message that she is in the city and would like it so much to see me, I have no problem with it because I want her to meet Sara. Being one of my longest friends, I thought that Alex would be happy for me. We haven’t seen each other for months because of our busy jobs though we message each other just to check how the other was doing. I have yet to tell Alex about Sara so I thought saying yes to Alex to come to my place will be nice. As it turned out, it’s not. I have to admit that I am disappointed.

All I wanted was Sara and she haven’t left. I’ve missed her more than I thought I would, and I just needed some advice. Some words of encouragement. I’ve wanted to make us official for a couple of weeks now, but I wasn’t sure Sara would be okay with it. Everything was good. Everything felt like it was moving forward…at the right pace. I didn’t want to put any pressure on her or what was growing between us. She meant too much to me to rush this. She meant too much to just assume.

Honestly, I want to confess my undying love for her. I want to shout it for all of New York to hear. Problem is, I’m not too sure she loves me back. I can feel myself falling faster than ever before. Sara isn’t the same person I am. She has been hurt.

Yes, I’ve been hurt too. I’ve been cheated on and had my heart ripped out, but Sara has been emotionally abused by the woman she believed she would one day marry. By the woman who was supposed to love and support her unconditionally. It’s no surprise to me that she doesn’t trust easily. I wouldn’t either. When Sara is hurting and when she is thinking things over, I know how to give her space. It wasn’t always that way. In time, all of this uncertainty and fear will be a distant memory, I know it will.

How do I know? Because I see a future with Sara. I see her waking beside me in our home. I see us going on vacation together. Sharing milestones together. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Birthdays. I see it all with her and that is something I’ve never been overly confident about during past relationships. This woman has gotten to me and she’s gotten to me good. If she could only see how happy she makes me.

***

Sara and I decided to have some dinner out. I don’t think we both have the energy to fix some meal for us. Plus, it will give us the time together before we have that talk. Dinner was good. We chatted on what we did during our time apart. Taking the elevator back to my place, we have walked here in silence, but I’m not concerned. Something about how Sara is holding my hand feels different. Like she is safe. 

The bell signaling our arrival startles me from my thoughts, and I glance to my right to find a peaceful look on Sara’s face. She doesn’t look hurt or upset. She just looks…contemplative. She looks like she is processing, but not too hard.

“You okay?” I tug her hand and pull her into the side of my body.

“Yeah, I am.” She nods, a smile settling on her mouth. “I guess I have some apologizing to do, huh?”

“For what?” I furrow my brow.

“For the things I said.”

“No, not at all…we do need to talk, though.”

“I know.” Sara sighs. “I know.”

Stepping off the elevator, I take my keys from my pocket and pull Sara along behind me. I don’t know what is going through her mind at the moment, but she is here, and she is willing to talk. I know this can’t be easy for her but I’m not leaving her. I’m not running and I’m not backing down. Unless she tells me she doesn’t want me in her life, I’m not going anywhere.

“I’m sorry.” She cries, her head burying in my chest as she pulls me closer. “So sorry.”

“Hey…” I press a kiss to the top of her head. “Please, don’t cry.” Sara shakes her head but still doesn’t remove her head in my chest.

“You make me feel happy” Sara pulls back and wipes the tears from her face. “Every day….”

“Does this feel good?” I ask, my lips pressing against her own. “Regardless of everything else that is going on in your life…does kissing me feel good?”

“So good.” Her eyes close.

“Then I’m here to be whatever you need.” My thumb grazes her bottom lip. “I’m here for you. Always.”

“I just…I feel like everything is going to come crashing down if I let myself be happy.”

“When my sister died.” I pull Sara towards the couch. Taking a seat, she drops down beside me. “My world fell apart.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I felt like my life was passing me by in slow motion. I felt like I had no control over anything. My emotions. My anger. My body.”

Sara’s hand squeezes my own and I know she is telling me that she’s got me. I’ve never doubted that. 

“At the same time, we were turning off my sister’s life support machine, my girlfriend at the time was sleeping with my then best friend. We all grew up together. The same neighborhood. We were inseparable.”

“No…”

“I knew.” I shrug. “I’d known for a long time. We discussed it. It wouldn’t happen again.”

“But it did?”

“Mmmm...” I nod slowly, my eyes focused on the coffee table. “She said she needed more. That I wasn’t giving her what she needed. I wasn’t good enough for her. As I called her to tell her my sister had gone…that’s what she told me. That was her speech.”

“Ava…”

“I spent eighteen months pushing everyone away. My family. Potential love interests. I felt like I’d never be good enough for anyone again. I lost my sister, my girlfriend and my best friend all in a matter of minutes.”

“You are good enough…”

“And so are you.” I turn to face Sara. “You are more than good enough.”

“You’re not like the others.” She sits forward, her hand cupping my jaw gently. “You are so much more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Alex was there to pick me up when everything fell to pieces,” I admit. “She was there, but we have been good friends since high school. She was there for me.”

“You don’t have to explain, Ava.” Sara shakes her head slightly. “I’m sorry for what I said and what I was thinking about you and Alex.”

“But it was understandable,” I say.

“That doesn’t make it right.” She pushes me back against the couch and straddles my legs. “Ava, I love you…and I’m not prepared to let someone who means nothing to me influence my life. I was coming here tonight because I missed you so much. When I saw Alex, I wanted to run away” She admits. “But before I even saw Alex, I knew I had to come here so I brave myself to stay.”

“And you did.” My smile widens.

“I did.” Sara’s hands are braced against the back of the couch, either side of my head. 

“I wanted to see you. To touch you. To make you mine once and for all.”

“Prove it,” I smirk.

“I plan to.” Sara’s bottom lip brushes my own. “I plan to spend the rest of my life making love to you…but I need to ask you something first.”

“Anything,” I whisper against her mouth. “Anything at all.”

“Ava, I kinda need to make this exclusive.” She smiles against my mouth. “I need to take you off the market.”

“We’re exclusive.” My hands find Sara’s back beneath her jacket. “You’re all mine baby as I am all yours.”

“Feels good to hear that.” She trails her tongue across my bottom lip. 

“Yes, it is.”

“This is me and I want to love you, Ava. I want to just drop every guard and love you.”

“I know you do.” My lips trail Sara’s jawline. “And I want that, too. I want you to trust me Sara.”

“From this moment…” Her eyes turn a darker shade of blue. “From this moment I’m giving my all to you.”

“Yeah?” My voice breaks. “You’re here for the long haul?”

“The longest.” Sara smiles, her blonde hair framing her face beautifully.

“You mean the world to me…I hope you know that.”

“Deep down, I’ve always known.”

“You know, when you’re not pushing me away and refusing to believe how incredibly beautiful you are…your honesty is the most attractive thing to me.”

“Good to know.” She sits back on her knees. “And thank you for opening up to me. For sharing your past with me. I can feel that it was not easy for you, but you did. And for that I am grateful.”

“I just wanted you to know that we aren’t so different.” I shrug. “We all have really shitty times, but how we come back from them and rise again shows who we are. How strong we are.”

“She just…she broke me.”

“And now I am the one who was honored to help you put yourself back together.” I sit up and forward, my arms wrapping around Sara’s waist. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“I just want to be happy with you, Ava.”

“And we will be.” I smile into a kiss. “So happy…”

“Did anyone ever tell you how amazing you are?” Sara rests her forehead against my own, her eyes just making me fall in love with her all over again. “Huh?”

“Just one…” My voice breaks. “My sister.”

“Well, your sister knew exactly what she was talking about.” Sara gives me one of her gorgeous soft smiles. “And I’m proud of you for becoming who you are after what you have been through.”

“Me too.” I agree. “It means I get to have someone like you in my life. My end result.”

“Yeah? You really believe that?”

“I believe that everything happens for a reason…and what we have both been through has led us to this moment. This relationship.”

“God, I love you.” 

“And I love you too.” I pulled Sara into a languid kiss.

Tasting her and being here with her…I thought I would never have that opportunity again. I truly believed I’d lost her forever, but we were given another chance. I don’t know what the future holds for me and Sara, but I feel like we’ve taken a new path tonight. I feel like our lives could become something amazing and I’m going to do everything in my power to make that happen.

This woman…she’s mine. She is totally mine. I know because I’ve never felt so sure about anything else in my life before. The women I’ve dated and the past relationships that I had have served some kind of purpose in my life, whether that be a mistake or not, but Sara is everything I never imagined I’d find.

I pull back for air. 

“L-Let me take you to bed…”

Climbing off my lap, Sara takes my hand and pulls me up to my feet. Her bright blue eyes darkening by the second, my heart is pounding just as hard as it was the first time I laid my eyes on her naked body. Beneath me. Writhing and moaning.

My mission is to know this woman inside and out. My mission is to make her happy. For her to feel incredibly loved. Above all else, I want her to feel safe with me. Safe and home.

Sara Lance is my home…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	15. It is time to fully move on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara’s life is constantly changing but now for the better. On going realizations keep her in good spirits most especially having the support of her loved ones. But what will happen after she collides with someone from her past?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future. – Daphne Rose Kingma.

Sara Lance

“I cannot believe you convinced me to do this.” My girlfriend for a month now groaned. 

I was clutching Ava around the waist, the bands tying our legs together. I felt a gust of wind on my face and prayed that it wasn’t enough to push us over the edge.

“Ready when you are.” said the man behind us. He stepped back, the sun glistening on his bare torso. 

I looked down and then internally cursed. The ground was both too far and too close. Far enough that I didn’t want to take a step, and close enough that the rope couldn’t possibly stop us before we hit it.

“We don’t have to jump,” said Ava.

“Yes, we do.”

“No, this was all your idea, and we can stop anytime you want.”

“But it’ll be fun once we’ve done this part, I know it will,” I said, screwing my eyes closed and feeling a wave of dizziness.

“So, all we need to do is take the first step.” Ava’s voice sounded calm, but I could feel her trembling.

“I can push you if it helps,” offered by the man.

“Nope, we can do this.”

It was suddenly important that I did this myself with Ava, that we do this together. No outside help. My stomach quivered at the idea of it, my whole body felt sick and shaky. But by all accounts, the payoff was going to be wonderful. All I needed to do was take the first step.

“Ready?” I looked up to meet Ava’s grey blue pools.

“No, but we’re doing this anyway.” She tensed her muscles to lift her foot and hesitated for just one second, heart beating in her mouth, stomach churning with terror. And then we both took the step together.

I held tight to Ava as we fell. Wind whipping through our hair and bringing tears to our eyes. We both screamed, not realizing that we were doing it, first with fear and then with elation as the rope reached the bottom and then snapped us back up again, yo-yoing us up and down and up again.

I was laughing now, squeezing Ava tight and laughing until I was crying. That moment of freedom, that sensation of flying, it had all felt so right.

“Let’s do it again!” I laughed heartily.

“We’re not even on the ground yet. We’ll do it again, but not today. I think I’ve had as much excitement as I can handle for one day.”

One of the bungee instructors was coming for us, brandishing a long stick with a hook to pull us down to the ground where we could be unstrapped. I held Ava tightly not wanting her to let go and let my heart rate calm.

“There’s one thing ticked off the bucket list.” I said with a grin plastered on my face.

“I dread to think what the next item on that list might be.” Ava said amusedly.

The sun had set in a blaze of color, and the reds and purples were fading from the sky to leave it a velvety blue when Ava and I head out the Fly High Indoor Trampoline Park. It was my turn to choose an activity date and here we are in the amusement park.

“Hungry yet?” asked Ava.

“Yeah, it’s time to head back home.” We walked in comfortable silence.

“Ali would have loved it here too,” Ava said, after a while.

I smiled. I liked it when Ava mentions Ali, I knew that she only did it when she was truly happy, when her guard was truly down. Ali’s passing is something that caused pain for Ava. I know that she loves her and misses her.

“What’s not to like?” she asked. “It’s fun here. Perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Well, perfect-ish,” I said. “And perfect-ish is as good as it gets in my book.”

“Pure perfection would be boring. It’s the little surprises that makes it more exciting.” Ava said warmly.

“Do you miss Ali?”

“Yes, I do.” Ava said. “I’m not sure there’s a day that passes that I do not miss her. I am pretty sure though that she will like you so much.” Ava squeezed my hand gently.

“I hope she does. From the things that you shared about her; I think she was amazing.

“Yes, she was.”

“And speaking of sisters, Laurel will be in the City next week.”

“That’s great Sara”

“Yes, it is. I miss her so much. It’s already been too long since we last saw each other. It’s work related though, so we only have the weekend to catch up”

“You know, we can cancel our bowling date next week. We can reschedule it. You need to spend some quality time with Laurel.”

“That’s the thing.”

“What thing?”

“I want it so much for you to meet my sister, if it’s okay with you. But if you think that meeting the family is too soon….” I did not dare look into Ava’s eyes as I keep on rambling.

“Sara, hold it. Stop baby.” Ava cuts my winding speech held my chin and tilts my face upward so that our eyes would meet.

“Huh?” 

“Let me get this clear. You want me to meet Laurel?”

“Mmmm…Yes. Very much so.” A silence passes and suddenly I see the corner of Ava’s mouth curving into a smile.

“I would love that.”

“You do?”

“Yes, but I don’t think Laurel will appreciate being dragged to our date activities. Perhaps we can cook for her in the apartment. We can also bring her in Central Park if you want.”

“God! What have I done to deserve you? Thank you.” I pulled Ava for a deep kiss to show her how much I appreciate her. I really love for her to meet Laurel. I am sure that they will adore each other. All of a sudden, I can’t wait for next week to come.

Laurel is the only family I’ve got. My parents aren’t too keen on my coming out, but my sister supported me. My parent’s marriage isn’t exactly perfect. My Mom walked out on us while I was still in highschool and I wasn’t able to see her again. Dad took the divorced badly and immersed himself at work. Being a detective, made his life constantly being at risk. I was nineteen then, a buy bust operation gone wrong leaving a bullet lodged in his back. He already expired while being transported to the hospital. Since then, it was only Laurel and me. 

So much has happened in my life but Laurel was always there cheering me. All I know is that I’m extremely fortunate to have such a down-to-earth and loving sister to lean on. Laurel knows how to pull me out of my miserable moods and putting a smile on my face. As I look back, I realized that my sister became a second mother to me. I understand how Ava feels for Ali. For me, nobody can take Laurel’s place. Her worth is immeasurable. I will always be grateful for having my sister.

I am not exactly confident that Ava would easily agree meeting Laurel, but I am relieved and very glad that she did. I know in my heart that Laurel will love Ava. Meeting the family is an important milestone in any relationship and I know eventually, I will meet Ava’s Mom and Dad. I know that Ava just said yes but I also do know that as confident as my girlfriend is, I am pretty sure that she will either get nervous, excited and stressed about it but I am confident that my sister will not terrorize my girlfriend. 

My girlfriend. It doesn’t feel good to be in a nerve-wracking fog of assumptions and hopes, nor does it feel good to feel like you need to withhold affection or dodge certain type of activities. When you’ve agreed on what you’re doing with each other, you can both stop having to dance around the unspoken truth and simply enjoy the relationship. And that’s what Ava and I are doing, enjoying our relationship. It maybe new but I already have a good feeling about us. I think this is something that will last. 

So much in my life have change and will continuously change. Change comes in both expected and unexpected ways. Somehow, during my last year with Nyssa, a breakup is something that the future hold for us, something expected. Meeting Ava on the other hand while moving on is something unexpected. Changes in other areas of our lives come in planned and unplanned ways, as well. Unanticipated changes can create stress, but so can planned and expected changes. A decision to move on, or enter a new relationship, while desired and planned, can nonetheless initially create stress. Growth is not only optional but stressful. 

Instead of being rigid towards change, I learn to make space for new opportunities. To welcome the new change wholeheartedly and create a healthy atmosphere by equalizing the two ends. 

Not only my relationship with Ava changed, soon the nature of my work will also change. I love the coffee shop and I love Zari. Ava and I both do. After all, we met in that coffee shop. It will always hold a special place in both of our hearts. A few months ago, I told Ava when I feel that I am ready to go back to full time teaching I will ask Gideon. I have been teaching part time on weekends for seven months now and Gideon was actually offering me a full-time load. Two weeks ago, I told Ava about the offer. Ever the supportive girlfriend, she encouraged me if that’s what I truly want then I need to grab the opportunity. I hate leaving Zari, but I need to do this for me. 

***

“Hey. How are you?” I greeted Zari as she crosses the living room and rests against the kitchen counter.

“Fine.” She shrugs. 

“You want to take a walk?”

“No, I’m good.” My best friend gave me a small smile.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure.” She studies my face. “Is it about Ava?”

“No. Ava and I are actually good you know.”

“Good to know because that woman clearly loves you.”

“I know Zari. I love her too.” I smiled thinking of my girlfriend.

“So, if it’s not Ava…”

“Yeah, you do know that I am always grateful for you right?” I shake my head, a slight sigh slipping from my mouth. “I am really thankful for everything that you have done for me Z.”

I’ve spent most of this week trying to figure out how to tell Zari that I am leaving the coffee shop. My stomach is not really doing so well. I don’t want my best friend to think that I just used her and now that I am in a much better place I will leave her.

“Lance, that’s what friends are for. I know you will do the same for me if the situation was reversed.”

“Mmmm…please don’t hate me.”

“Sara is there something wrong?” Zari inquired.

“Maybe not something wrong but I don’t know if you will get mad or hate me.”

“Breathe, then start from the beginning.” I took the advice and it made me a little calm.

“Okay.” I look sincerely at Zari’s brown pools. “I was offered a full-time teaching load for the next semester and I accepted. There said it please…please…please don’t hate me.”

“Sara, first things first.” Zari reaches out and pulled me in a bone crushing hug.

“Congratulations! You did it.” A tear slips down my face. “I am so proud of you.”

“Uh, you are?”

“Yes.” I upturn my hand and lace our fingers together. “I truly am. You have come a long way and I am so proud that you turned your life to everything it was once before and even more.”

“You don’t hate me? You know, I am going to leave the coffee shop soon.”

“No. I want you to be happy Sara because you deserve it. I know that music and teaching make you happy. It was something that Nyssa rob from you.”

“Thank you, Z.” I face my best friend and place a kiss on her cheek. “You are right.”

“The coffee shop is not your life Sara…it is not mine too. Who knows? Maybe one day, it’s my turn to leave too. You are not leaving me Sara I know that. You might be leaving the coffee shop, but we are still sharing this apartment. And even when the time comes you move in with Ava, I know that you will never leave me, not really. I know that I will always have you. It is time to fully move on.”

“I am really glad that you are okay with this. Ava is right. She said that you will understand and will be happy for me.’

“Mmmm…it’s good when you listen to that girlfriend of yours.”

“Yeah, she is amazing.” I focus on the kitchen counter. 

“How about, I order some pizza and beer. We need to celebrate.”

“That would be nice. Anything that you want to watch in Netflix?

“Brooklyn Nine-Nine so set it up and I will join you right after I placed the order.” 

“I knew you’re going to say that.”

Maybe I did fret for nothing. I am just glad that my conversation with Zari turned out more than fine. I don’t know how I would feel if Zari would’ve reacted differently. I am just relieved. Finally, I think things are starting to go my way. 

It did not escape me that Zari mentioned that I will move out one day to be with Ava. The thought itself is scary but exciting and it is one future that is filled with full of promise. A life with Ava. I am not expecting that my relationship with Ava will be a pure bliss. I know that there will always be bumps on the road but when the time comes that we are about to make that big plunge, I know that we will be doing it for the right reasons.

***

Zari was in the counter already and I am anxiously waiting for my shift to finish. I know that Ava and I just spent time together yesterday but after our date, I went home to be with Zari and shared my news to her. Tonight though, I want to be in Ava’s place and in Ava’s arms. The remaining fifteen minutes is passing by very slowly for me and it is excruciating. I decided to bust the tables to pass the remaining time.

Rushing around the corner, my body collides with another and I let out an ‘oomph’. Rubbing at my shoulder as it hits the wall, I groan and find my balance.

“I’m so sorry.” I said politely and I hold up my hands.

“That’s okay, Sara.”

Glancing up, I roll my eyes and find my ex standing in front of me. Her perfect tailor-made suit intimidating me as she brushes herself down.

“What are you doing here?”

“Meeting a friend.” Nyssa shrugs. “Are you already off the clock?”

“I am.” Not bothering to say more.

“You going someplace?”

“Home.” I state and try to move away from her. 

“Wait up.” Nyssa grips my wrist as I attempt to step around her. “Home?”

“Yeah, let me go Nyssa.”

“We should meet for dinner.” Nyssa says, leaving little room for a discussion.

“I have things to do, but thanks.” Shrugging her hand from my wrist, I give my ex a small smile. “Ava is waiting for me.”

“I’ll call you…Tonight.”

“Don’t bother.” I hold up my hands. “We have nothing to say to each other.”

Seeing Nyssa has only confirmed that I already felt nothing for her. Ava, though…Ava is a totally different story. My heart aches for her. It pounds for her. Right now, I’m certain it is beating only for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear from you.


	16. Now, here we are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava finally met Laurel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be with someone you’re able to grow with. Your past is just a lesson, not a life sentence. Be with someone who embraces your goals, not destroy them.

AVA SHARPE

“Mmmm, I need coffee…”

Reaching my arm out, I’m met with cold sheets. Sheets that once had my incredible girlfriend’s body spread over them. Her soft skin. Her blonde hair. Sheets that no longer hold any of those things…just a coldness.

“Sara?” I sit up on my elbows and furrow my brow.

Nothing.

The sound of running water settling me as it filters through from the en-suite attached to my bedroom, I drop back down onto the mattress and sigh. It’s not often that I don’t wake in my girlfriend’s arms, but when I do, I feel lonely. Sure, she is usually only somewhere close by, but it’s not the same. 

It’s been kind of incredible the past several weeks, really. After making things official for both of us, Sara has been sleeping in my apartment more than at her and Zari’s place. We need this to build our relationship. Okay, it mainly involves a lot of sex, but sex is good. Sex is hot. Especially with Sara Lance. So hot.

I shake my head as I remember that I am under strict instruction never to return home in heels and skirt again, at least, not when she is here. After the last time that I did. Wow! One thing led to another and I am literally screaming Sara’s name for the next several hours. I discovered that my girlfriend has a fascination and obsession for my legs and ass. There is something about them that tip her over the edge the moment I arrive home from the office.

Smirking as I climb from the warm confines of the super king size bed I’ve come to know and love more with my girlfriend on it, I round the edge of the bed and approach the half-closed door of the en-suite. We both have to work today, but this is still a little early for her. I usually wake up earlier than her, so I need to know if there is a reason why she woke up so early. I already know that she met Laurel yesterday. Meeting Laurel. If I will be honest, I am a ball of emotions and I am frantic with meeting said perfect sister. I don’t know if Sara can detect my nervousness at the prospect of meeting her lawyer sister.

I have been running scenarios in my head since Sara told me that she wants me to meet Laurel. I didn’t know why I even think of saying yes. Well, I know why I said yes. I don’t have the heart to say no to her request. I know in my heart that me meeting Laurel is important to Sara. At least I have two more days to condition my mind. It is only Thursday and Sara and I agreed that we will invite Laurel here for lunch on Saturday. 

Slipping inside and remaining as quiet as I possibly can, my girlfriend has her back to me and her ass is all I am seeing right now. Biting my lip, I step up behind her and press my lips to her shoulder.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Mmmm, good morning babe.” She turns in my arms and presses her lips to mine.

“Why the early shower?”

“Early morning shower…early morning sex.” She winks, her back connecting with the cool tiled wall. “Genius, really.”

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” She takes my bottom lip between her teeth. 

“You’ll just have to wait…”

“Oh, I don’t think so.” Her hand trails my soaked stomach, bringing her lips to my ear, I smile. “Turn around.”

“Oh.” I feign shock.

Turning my body, her lips take the path of my spine and I shudder. I feel my body tremble in anticipation. The effect she has on me…it’s something else. 

“Your skin tastes delicious.” Working her way back up my body. Sara sucks on the skin at the crook of my neck. Her teeth grazing gently as a low moan rumbles in my throat, the vibration sending my own pulse skyrocketing.

“And you…you feel amazing.” Sara gasps as my fingertip trails the curve of her ass.

“I love you.” Sara says breathlessly turning me around to face her and connecting our mouths into a kiss.

“I know. I love you, too.”

***

I just finished meeting a very demanding client that Nora scheduled for me. Good thing that I have worked my way around and we get to agreed on everything before closing the deal. I can hear my stomach rumbling. I only had coffee this morning. When Sara and I finished our delightful activities, we hurried up almost getting late for work. So much for waking up early but I have no regrets. All I need is to get some meal in this part of town and I will return to the office. I have a pretty good idea what I want to eat and where I would grab it.

Alma’s was located a few blocks away, tucked down a side street. The short walk lifted my spirits; the streets were busy in the middle of the day but I am still a little early for lunch time so I could probably get a nice spot. I actually walked with a spring in my steps. The café wasn’t very busy when she arrived but that will soon change. An older couple sat at one table indoors, and outside two of the four smaller tables were occupied. 

I know that this place had the best Portuguese custard tarts in town. I haven’t been here in a while, but I’ll be leaving with two boxes. One box for me and Sara and the other one for Nora. I placed my orders and waited patiently. It didn’t take long for my grilled chicken salad sandwich, orange juice and custard tart to arrive. As I start to munch on my sandwich the place starts to be filled and soon there are no vacant tables left. Some customers had their orders for take out since there is no more room even outside. 

My eye was caught by the person at the table nearest the door. The brunette was eyeing me and was now sporting a smirk on her face. I realized that the woman and I are both sporting power suits. I averted my gaze and it landed on another woman. A blonde this time. She is on the counter and placing her order. Unlike the others, she is alone. After paying she turn around and scout the area. After noticing that there is no vacant table, she eyed her options. There are some vacant seats, but she is sizing up who to ask if they would share their table. A man on the opposite corner is also sitting alone for a table that is good for two. Obviously, he is sporting a toothy grin and was expecting the woman to ask if he could share. 

The woman is beautiful just like the brunette who is still keeping glances at me. My observation was halted when my boxes to go came and I tucked it on the empty space on my table. My gaze was soon met by a green pair of eyes.

“Mmmm…Hi. Sorry to bother you and I know that table sharing is not for everyone, I would understand if you decline but I was hoping that you would consider and share this spot?”

“Sure.” I arrange my plates and boxes more closely to give room for her orders. 

“Thank you. You’re a life saver.” The woman smiles at me. She looks closely at my orders. “I can see that we both ordered the same. I was told that this place had the best Portuguese custard tarts in town.”

“Yes, they do. I haven’t been here for awhile and I will be leaving with two boxes in tow.” I return the smile. We ate in a companionable silence.

“You know, the woman at the table near the door is ogling you. On the other hand, I swear, she is staring at me with contempt.” 

“Yeah, she is not actually subtle right?” We both laughed. 

“She is pretty though.”

“She is but I am very much happily taken.” Sara at the forefront of my mind made me smile fondly at the thought of whatever she is doing right now.

“Your eyes definitely show that you are. Some lucky guy or gal?”

“Girlfriend. No, I am the one who is lucky.” 

“Beautiful and humble too. Are you working in the area?” 

“Thanks, I guess. I happen to meet a client in this part of town. What about you?” I don’t know why talking to this woman feels light as we exchange small information about us back and forth. I am usually privy about myself when it comes to strangers, but this woman is easy to talk to.

“I work in a firm in a different city, but I am excited to be transferring and moving to this city. It had taken longer but I just can’t wait. I will only be here up for a few days so hopefully when I return, I will be staying for good.”

“Wow! A lawyer. Beautiful and smart.” I think it’s time for me to return the compliments.

“Thank you.”

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, from what city are you from?”

“I am from Boston. Actually, I wanted to transfer here for months already. You have no idea how relieved and elated I am to be transferring in our firm here.”

“Need a change?”

“Well, you can say that. My sister is living in this city and it’s been too long that we are apart. After the events of what my sister has been through, I know that I want to be there for her anytime she needs me. Though I know that she has an amazing person who supports her now, I still want to be near her.”

“That’s really sweet of you. I am sure your sister must be very excited.” The woman looks a little thoughtful and sigh.

“That’s the thing though. I haven’t told her yet. I want to finish signing up everything before I tell her. Then we could probably look for a place where I can stay for long term in here.”

“I can help you in there. You see, I work in real estate. That is if you want?” My only objective is to fill my tummy when I walk in here, getting a client is more than I could hope for. 

“Wow! That’s great. I was hoping to look around sooner before leaving. I do appreciate if you could help me with that problem, I really am.”

“This is my card, give me a call so we can talk and I’m sure we can arrange something before you leave for Boston.” I handed her my card with my contact number and email. The woman’s eyes bulge at seeing something on my card.

“You’re Ava Sharpe?” 

“Yes, guilty as charged.” The woman suddenly burst laughing. She must have seen the confusion in my face.

“Ava, you have no idea how delighted I am to meet you. I am Laurel Lance.” She offered a hand to me that I accepted and gave me a warm smile.

“Laurel Lance? You’re Laurel, as in Sara’s sister?”

“The one and only.”

“Small world huh?” I gave Laurel a beaming smile.

“Yes, it is.”

“I mean wow, it is great to finally meet you. I heard so much about you from Sara.”

“Likewise.” I finally put the pieces of our conversation.

“A lawyer, from Boston, with a sister here in NYC and a beautiful blonde. How did I miss the clues?” We both chuckled. “So, you are really moving?”

“Yes, I am.”

“And you haven’t told Sara yet?”

“I am trying to finalize everything before giving the news to my baby sister. That would be either tomorrow night or probably Saturday.”

“She would love that so much Laurel.”

“You think so?”

“Yes. Do you know how much she misses you?”

“I know. And I miss my baby sister so much. When I received her phone call months ago when she finally opened what happened to her relationship with Nyssa, that got me thinking. Sara is all the family I have, and it pains me not to be there for her.”

“Laurel, you have always been there for her. She is always excited whenever you call.”

“I know what you mean but that’s not enough. It’s different seeing her and not being miles apart. And thank you. Thank you for being there for my sister and for not letting her push you away. And don’t downplay your efforts Ava. I know how stubborn Sara can be. Now, I can see for myself why my sister has fallen in love with you.”

“I agree with you that Sara is stubborn even for her very own good. You don’t have to thank me because I will always do it in a heartbeat. Alright, I won’t divulge anything to Sara about your plans. Now, what do you say if I arrange something over the weekend for you to look up some places? You, Sara and Me?”

“Perfect. It’s a date.”

I’d say meeting Laurel Lance have been wonderful. The way the universe arranged it for me is something that I am truly grateful. It eradicated all apprehension. The small talk giving to an eventual revelation on how we are connected by that same person that we dearly love. I don’t want to keep secrets from Sara, but Laurel’s plan is her story to tell. I know in my heart that Sara will be very very happy for that eventual news.

Laurel and I talked on some things that she prefers for a home to settle before we said our goodbyes and heading back to work. She on the firm and me driving back to the office. Nora screamed in delight as I gave the box of custard to her with an instruction to prepare a list based on the specs and other information that suited Laurel’s preferences. I received a bone crushing hug and a promise that she will arrange it ASAP. Now, this day is surely going out well for me and I will surely thank my lucky stars tonight when they appear in the vast New York skies.

***

I don’t know how to tell Sara that I’ve already met Laurel and the days quickly passed and it was already Saturday. Laurel and I talked yesterday before I left the office to confirm our plans for today. Since Sara will take on a full load in three weeks, someone already took over her weekend classes. She asked Gideon to give her time to accomplish her employment requirements, say goodbye to her current employer and to prepare for her full-time schedule. Laurel visiting just coincided with the schedule, so it was all good for us to go house hunting. I am sure that Laurel hasn’t told Sara about our meeting too so I am quite curious on how things will unfold today.

I am prepping to cook for an early lunch, and I know that Sara is with Laurel right now. Today is the revelation day and I find myself buzzing with energy thinking how happy Sara would be once she learned of Laurel’s plans. I made myself busy in the kitchen with my menu. A vegetable lasagna that Sara loves, garlic bread, Caesar salad and a buttermilk pie. After pulling the lasagna and placing the buttermilk pie in the oven, I changed to some skinny jeans and long sleeves tee. I was setting the table when I heard the chime. That must be Sara and Laurel.

“Hey you.” Sara has the habit of launching herself to me when I open the door and this time is no different even with Laurel in tow. I chuckled as I enveloped her in my arms.

“Hi baby.” I gave Sara a peck on the lips and turn my gaze to Laurel who is grinning while looking at us.

“Ava, I want you to meet my sister, this is Laurel.” She then looks at Laurel. “Laurel this is my girlfriend, Ava Sharpe.” Laurel and I look at each other and we burst out laughing before we pull each other into a hug. 

“Hey Ava. Smells good in here.”

“Hi Laurel.” Sara was now staring intently at us.

“Okay. I don’t know what’s happening in here. I would love for you to meet each other and be close but seriously, both of you laughing in tears is not what I have phantom on the first meeting. What did I miss?” My girlfriend adorably pouted.

“We can eat while we talk so let’s move this to the dining area. I cooked your favorite veggie lasagna so wipe that pout away babe.” Sara’s face sported a grin in a matter of seconds.

“You did?” 

“Uh-huh. Come on. 

I ushered Laurel and Sara followed. Sara and I worked in tandem in preparing the food. Laurel offered to help but we refused to let her. Soon, we are exchanging stories while having a hearty meal and Sara was budging us that we are keeping a secret from her. Laurel and I gave in and told her the whole ordeal that happened on Thursday. 

“And both of you did not tell me? My sister and girlfriend ganging and conspiring on me. Mmmm… that’s a crime.” Sara’s smile however says differently. I know that she is not offended.

“Sorry babe. In my defense, I don’t know how to tell you that I met Laurel without spilling her plans so I waited on how things will unfold. Now, here we are.”

“Thanks Ava and I’m sorry too Sara. I just wanted to surprise you after everything was already signed and finalized. I don’t want to give false hope. I have no idea that I will be meeting Ava ahead of the plan.”

“Good thing that I love you both, so you are both forgiven. I have a feeling that this is not going to be the last time that you will gang up on me. It’s also good that you met that way. This one is already full of nerves at the prospect of meeting you.” I chuckled at my girlfriend’s last statement. So much for keeping things cool.

“Well, now that we know that I don’t bite, let me say that I am very happy finally meeting you Ava. You are everything that my sister is gushing about and more. I have no reservations or qualms why this one is head over heels in love with you. And I can confidently say to you sis that the feeling is mutual. And Ava, thank you for preparing this wonderful meal and for arranging our house hunt for today and tomorrow.” 

“You are most welcome.” 

Underneath the table Sara is clasping my hand. From her beaming smile, I know that she is very happy that Laurel and I quickly got along. My heart swelled with emotion. I dared to allow myself to love this woman, yet feared, deep down, that my feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated as intensely as I felt them but Laurel confirming that Sara is head over heels in love with me and Sara throwing me a look filled with affection and love is making my heart expand by the moment. 

I’m in a very happy place right now. I love holding Sara’s hand. I love how our fingers fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. Life is most certainly a puzzle, usually one that will give you a hard time until you figure it out. If you are a simple person with a clear goal and idea of what you want to achieve in your life, as well as a set of rules that will help you get there, then your puzzle will be much easier to complete. You’ll probably make mistakes along the way, but the determination will keep you persistent and help you win that challenge.

For those who are struggling with certain things in life, things won’t be easy. There will be pieces that do not fit where you initially put them, and at a moment it will be much more difficult to continue with the puzzle. You are not facing a dead end. You have to make a decision whether to give up or start all over again. It is at that moment when you rethink what you are doing. And although it might sound difficult to start from point zero, the good thing is that you have the experience, and know what to avoid, which pieces fit or don’t fit.

In other words, starting all over again and failing made you better at this and now you have the chance to make it right. Sometimes life doesn’t go smoothly. The most logical answer would be that the puzzle is not arranged properly. It can either be several pieces or the entire puzzle. Obviously, Sara and I fall on the second category of puzzle but we both brave and choose to start all over again.

In all of this, I learned not to be afraid of the challenge and change that is about to come because it is the best way to experience life fully and evolve. I quickly learn that failing and experiencing difficulties in life is all about growth. 

Right at this very moment, having Sara in my life is a very satisfying accomplishment that I will ever have. My jigsaw puzzle is starting to get assembled properly. It takes guts to start your puzzle, and even more so when you realize that something doesn’t seem to fit in it. Sara and I are both working on ours. After several missed pieces, we realized that we need order out of the chaos in our life. Our puzzle is not yet complete, but we are not giving up. There are still many things left to be done, many things are yet to be improve but quitting is not an option. My dream is to complete it with this amazing human. I want to experience every challenge and success with her. I know that in my puzzle Sara is the missing piece that made everything else magically click into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost done. This is almost bittersweet for me. Thank you so much to all of you who stick with me. To those who have constantly supported this story, giving kudos, and even to those who have enjoyed it so much to even bookmark it, please know that I am grateful. To the compliments, cheers and kind words of those who even manage to leave a comment for each update, you made my heart full. Even on cycles when my health is failing, you encourage me to persist and finish this and you made this journey more fulfilling. To one AvaSharpe, words are not enough on how you made me feel with your comments.
> 
> To my favorite authors/writers (bisexylegend, stellarose, directorsharpie, Nopejune, LadyXana, LanceALotz, Writer_of_time, CoffeeAndArrows, sharksandmermaids28, TheTruthAboutLove, dontshootmesara and to the most kind and amazing human Catz2020) if you manage to drop by in here or any of the readers in here know these people who can relay this to them, my utmost thanks to your beautiful minds and kind hearts. You made some darkest days and nights bearable. Even when my entire body is helpless for days and giving up on me, your stories made me laugh, cry, fall in love, hope and gave me courage. 
> 
> Each battle with sickness is completely different. If you feel trapped between despair and grief, please embrace hope and positivity. Hold onto the words of loved ones in your hearts like totems of healing.
> 
> "Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Take time to care. Let your words heal and not wound."


	17. A home, a future and family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some significant moments in the life of Ava and Sara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life isn’t a matter of milestones but of moments. – Rose Kennedy

SARA LANCE

Nyssa was never the woman for me. I may have known that for a long time, and I know I should’ve left the moment I recognized what was happening, but this? This life I have now is so much more than I ever anticipated. This is so much more than I ever imagined or even hope for. The five years I had with Ava was so different than the five years I had with Nyssa. The Life Ava and I have together is beyond my dreams. On the first year that we became an official couple, Ava asked me to move with her. 

Ava had been on another business trip and I promised to pick her up at the airport when she got back. When we met at the bottom of the stairs, I was slightly out of breath. We stood there facing each other, grinning foolishly before Ava step forward and grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss.

“I miss you.” I said in a whisper.

“Move in with me?” Ava blurted out but grinning.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. Hundred percent sure. I missed you so much and I want to come home with you Sara. Always.”

“I want to be with you too, Aves.”

“So, what do you say?”

“Yes, I would like it very much to move in with you.”

My hand found its way under Ava’s jacket. Our lips slid against each other and after awhile our tongues decided to get acquainted with each other as well. Moving in with Ava most definitely have its perks and there’s of course getting acquainted with some of my girlfriend’s habits that sometimes annoys me such as running even in cold weather.

“You have got to be kidding me babe!”

“Nope, sorry. Get up baby.”

“No.” I snorted pulling the pillow up to cover my head. “Ava!” I gasped feeling icy cold hands on my sides. “What are you doing?”

“Waking you up so you can go jogging with me.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you? Babe its December and winter is already coming very soon. It’s freaking cold outside.”

“I’ll make you a deal. If you run with me this morning, I will fulfill any fantasy of yours when we get back. Think that will help with your decision babe?” Ava began to nibble my earlobe shooting a warm feeling in my core.

“You got me all hot and you expect me to run? You’re a sadist babe.”

“I love you too baby.”

***

AVA SHARPE

The way I envision my life with Sara was exactly happening and so much more. The more time we spent with each other, the more we get to know the other. By the second year of our relationship, Sara managed to convince me that we adopt a dog. It seems that I had no reservations denying such request because I totally want one and we are determined to make things work with the new member that will join our household. That lead us to a trip in a shelter.

“My name’s Ava, and this is Sara. And we’d very much like to adopt a dog.”

“You’re in the right place then.” Astra, the owner of the shelter welcomed us. “We don’t have any puppies right now, but we do have some due in a couple of weeks. Of course, it’ll be a few weeks until they can leave their mother. But you’re welcome to put your name on the adoption list for one of them.”

“Oh no.” Sara shook her head. “We’re not really looking for a puppy. See, we both work regular jobs. I’m not sure that a puppy would be a good decision. We were hoping that perhaps you had an older dog we could adopt. One that’s a bit more sedate.”

“One that we could also take into work without him chewing up all our paperwork or lyric sheets.” I put in.

“Well, why don’t you come back out to the yard and I’ll introduce you to our current inmates.” Astra offered.

“Actually, we were hoping that you could maybe make a suggestion?” I gave a pleading look. “The problem is that if we see all the dogs, well, Sara might just end up adopting all the dogs, if you know what I mean. Could you maybe think of a dog that would be a good fit for us?” Astra chuckled but nods.

“I can. In fact, the second I saw you I thought of just the guy. Why don’t you go out front and wait and I’ll bring him around to you? It’s best to meet on neutral territory, rather than in here.”

“Of course. Thank you.” I said gratefully. A few minutes passed and Astra opened the door with a very excited terrier. 

“This is Jack.” Astra said. “And he’s extremely happy to meet you.” Sara and I stooped down, and he enthusiastically licked our faces. Then he ran around in circles before stopping again to give us kisses. Sara scooped him up and held him close, and Jack looked contented to be held.

“He’s perfect.”

“Yes, he is.” And Jack made both of us fell in love with him.

Jack wasn’t the only animal that my girlfriend loves. One time I found Sara stretched out into the couch and seemed fascinated by the ceiling she was staring up at. When a good fifteen minutes passed, and she did not even move from such intense attention I cleared my throat and asked.

“Babe, what are you doing?”

“Thinking.”

“About what?”

“Life in general.”

“Ohhh… That’s quite profound.” Sara chuckled.

“I’m kidding Aves.”

“So, what exactly are you thinking?”

“I was thinking how much I would like to have some pancakes and watch Finding Nemo or A Bug’s Life or Lion King or Ratatouille or Bolt.” Sara looked at me and laughed. “Wouldn’t have pegged me as a Disney fan huh?”

“Not exactly.”

“So, are you making me pancakes?”

“Babe, for that, we need to go to the grocery store. We already run out of ingredients.”

“Mmmm… no pancakes. I really need to start contemplating about my life.”

“You, poor baby.” I said but immediately saw Sara’s face lit up.

“But you’re watching finding Nemo with me, right babe?” A Disney movie with an overprotective Dad and a blue fish who suffers from short-term memory loss. Not exactly my idea of a fun filled afternoon weekend.

“Sure babe.” And Sara squealed in delight waking Jack from his slumber. 

***

SARA LANCE

When our relationship reached its third year, Ava’s parents invited us to visit them in Pennsylvania to celebrate their Anniversary. We left Jack in the very capable hands of Laurel and Zari who will alternately look for him. It was a two-hour drive that is filled with nerves on my part. I barely slept the night prior and my stomach was queasy. Things turned out well despite all my inhibitions and I was surprised to receive such a truly warm welcome from Pam and Randy. 

After the visit, we didn’t return straight back home. We took a mini vacation for ourselves and spend the weekend in a cozy cabin in New Jersey to celebrate our third year together. I step out of the car and stretch the moment the engine shuts off. Three hours in a car is a bit much for me, but I'm glad we're so far away from the city. The log cabin is set back off the main road and is located right on the lake. There are no other cabins in view so we will be able to enjoy the solitude. Ava walks around the car and pulls me into a hug and kissed me softly.

"This place is beautiful.” Ava uttered while admiring the view around us.

“I can't believe we finally got here." I smile and place my arm around Ava’s waist as we walk side by side up the steps. 

I unlock the door and walk across the threshold. The interior is quite spacious with a fully furnished kitchen and dining area along with a living room with a woodstove. The bedroom is located upstairs in the loft area. We walk over to the rear sliding door to find a deck with furniture and a hot tub. There is a stone path leading down to the lake where a small boat is tied to the dock. Maybe we'll have time to take it out before we leave.

Ava suggests we bring in our things and then take a nap. I awake near dusk and reach for Ava. Finding an empty bed, I get up and put on a pair of sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt. I found Ava at the kitchen. She opens the refrigerator and hands me a beer. She continues to work on what appears to be a vegetarian pizza. Finishing her masterpiece, she places it into the oven and sets the timer. 

After eating our pizza, we settled into the couch to watch random movies. We soon drifted asleep on the couch before the end of Imagine Me & You.

"Babe. It's time to get up and go to bed." She swats my hand. 

"I'm already in bed. Go away." I look down at my sleeping beauty. Her hair is in disarray but looks so adorable. I tried once more to nicely wake her. 

"Babe, there is a nice queen size bed upstairs. It is much more comfortable than this lumpy couch. Your back is going to regret it if you sleep on this couch all night." 

"Go away. Back's fine."

There is only one more option although I have never tried it before. If I can't manage it, I'll just leave her on the couch. Of course, she'll probably give me hell in the morning. I sure hope all my weightlifting pays off. 

I reach down and place one arm under her knee and the other behind her back. If I drop her, I am toast. I'm surprised how easily it is to lift her. She has actually helped a little by hooking her arm around my back and burrowing her head in my chest. Now, if I can just navigate the stairs.

I am halfway up the stairs when Ava begins to squirm in my arms. If I lose my grip, we'll both be rolling down the stairs and be in for a world of hurt. I softly whisper to Ava. 

"Go back to sleep, baby. I'm just taking you to bed." She nods and settles down. I breathe a sigh of relief and quickly move up the stairs.

I awake the next morning to a weight on my chest and breathing in my ear. I tried to untangle myself from Ava. I need to go to the bathroom. 

“Aves, you need to let me get up for a minute. I'll come back when I'm done." 

"Promise?" I answer with a yes, and she releases me. Who knew it was that easy?

I took care of business and decide to step into the shower. Quickly rinsing off, I return to the bedroom to find Ava sprawled diagonally across the bed. It certainly didn't take her long to take full possession of the bed. I smiled and shook my head and move down the stairs. I am halfway through breakfast preparation when Ava makes an appearance. 

"How come you didn't come back to bed like you promised?"

It is a wonder to me how does she do that? She can barely form a coherent sentence one minute and the next she has a mind like a steel trap. I decide to go for the loving girlfriend approach. 

"When I came back to the bed, you were sleeping so soundly I didn't have the heart to disturb you." She gets up from her sit and pulls me into a hug. 

"Thanks babe, but next time wake me.”

Time moves quickly, and we found ourselves packing our stuff to go back home but before we leave, it doesn’t hurt to take one more stroll.

“Want to take a quick look at the lake?" Ava asked me. 

“Let’s go.” I stand and hold out my hand. She takes it as we move to the sliding glass doors. 

We walk onto the deck and down the steps. The lake is clear and smooth. The breeze lightly blows as we stand with our arms around each other's waist. We look out on the water and silently enjoy each other's company.

“This is breathtaking.” I finally said aloud.

“Well, you’re breathtaking.” Ava looks at me and squeezed our joined hands. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”

“And I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.” I said sincerely. Ava then faced me and took both of my hands in hers and looked at me lovingly.

“Sara… I can’t promise that our life will be heavenly all the time, but we will go through with it together. I don’t want to make any grand promises that I won’t be able to keep nor I can’t promise to wipe away all bitter memories of the past, all I want to do is offer myself to you. I want to be there for you when you’re down. I want to share life’s happiest moments with you. I want to pamper you whenever I can, and I want to help you achieve your dreams. You’re the reason for my smiles, the reason for my happiness, the force behind my goals and the meaning in my life. Sara Lance, I love you so much.” My tears are freely flowing when Ava pulled a box on her pocket and knelt in front of me. “Will you marry me?” 

“Yes, yes, yes.” I pulled Ava up and kissed her as our tears continue to flow into our faces. 

***

AVA SHARPE

Communicating is one of the ways that kept our marriage healthy. Sometimes it’s hard to be honest with what we truly feel but Sara and I do our best. Part of good communication is being a good listener too and taking the time to understand what we want and need from each other.

Four years and counting, we already learn early on that we won’t be able to agree on everything, but it is important that we will both be fair and respectful during our disagreements. 

“Babe?…” Sara hesitantly gets my attention as we settle for bed.

“Yes, what is it baby?” 

“Can we have….mmm… another pet?” Sara’s eyes seek mine.

“Babe, we’ve already talked about this.” I groaned frustratingly but that doesn’t mean I didn’t saw the hurt in Sara’s eyes. I want to give my wife everything but within reason.

“Alright.” Sara begrudgingly turns on her side of the bed.

If I am to be honest, I don’t think we need another pet. Jack is very much happy and we both dearly love him. I think there is something more that my wife is not telling me. Now, if I could just figure this out. 

I stood up and went over to Sara’s side, kneeled and cradled her face on my hands. I tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of my hand and kissed the corners of her eyes. 

“I’m being a big baby.”

“No, you’re not.” I assured her. “You okay? You’ve gone very quiet.”

“Just thinking.”

“About what?” Sara just stared at me and took her time to voice out what’s on her mind. 

“Aves, have you ever considered having a kid of your own…of our own?”

Wow. Sara was indeed talking about what’s on her mind. The thought of a toddler with Sara’s eyes or her cute smile made the burning ache in my throat flare up. God, I want to have that. I sought Sara’s lips in a tender kiss. 

“Are you serious about this? You want a baby with me?” I whispered while my chest is pounding. 

“I am but only if you want to.”

My entire body vibrated with happiness with her answer. Sara and I are already sharing a home together. But now... Sara also wanted us to have a child together. 

“I may have told you already, I think I was already old for kids but that was before. And you never said anything about wanting them when we talked about it.”

“Babe, you are not yet old. Plus, we were talking about kids in general, not about having kids together.” Sara said. “And back then, we were only dating. I wasn’t sure kids were part of my life plan. I mean, I never not wanted them, but—”

“Um, what?” My mind was reeling. “You lost me.”

“Four years or so ago, I didn’t feel the burning need for a child. I wasn’t against the idea, but kids were more of a nice-to-have, not a must-have for me.”

“Hmmm... So, what changed?”

“I fell in love with you. And we just fit.” Sara said with the emotional openness that I admired so much. Her eyes are shining. “You’re loving and caring and so wonderful with Jack.” I suddenly laugh at my wife’s revelation.

“Hey, don’t laugh. I’m serious Aves.”

“I know you are baby.”

“But… if having a baby with me… is not what you want, that’s totally okay. This only works if you want it too, and if you don’t, you never have to be afraid that I’ll end up resenting you for it.” I pondered on my next words.

“Hmmm… I guess then I’ll have to be the one to teach her or him soccer, but music is on you.” A grin lurked at the corners of Sara’s mouth.

“Ava, what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours? Honestly, if you don’t want—”

“I do, Sara.” I said in a whisper. “I want to have a baby with you.” I wanted everything with Sara—a home, a future, a family. “I’m just scared to let myself want it. What if something goes wrong?”

“Then we’ll deal with it together.”

***

EPILOGUE

“There’s my two favorite humans in the universe.” Ava excitedly exclaimed when she found us in Central Park after her day in the office. My adorable wife is always grinning when it comes to our child and I can’t help but fell in love more and more.

“Hey, babe.” I stood up from the bench and greeted my wife with a kiss. Ava immediately turns her attention to the child in the stroller who’s amusing herself by blowing bubbles with her drool.

“Was that fun Savvie?” Ava cooed as she asked our daughter in a childlike voice that both amuses and delights me while lovingly stroking her tiny pink cheeks. 

Savvie is the nickname that Ava gave our daughter. I was actually the one who named her. Savannah is a product of an IVF. Ava and I tediously screened sperm donors that would match Ava’s features because I won’t have it any other way. The embryo was then implanted in my uterus. When I first saw our daughter, I can see both myself and Ava in her. That just gave me an idea to come up with a mix of our names and a bit more that would make the name her own. Ava and I both think that it’s perfect for our little girl.

When I was in labor, our dear daughter took her time. Ava brought me to the hospital at six in the morning and it wasn’t until six in the evening that she decided to come out. That was another level of pain that I have endured with the support of my wife. A pain that I will never ever regret enduring. Ava never left my side, murmuring love and sweet words to pacify my fears.

“Oh, she really looks like you babe.” Ava smiled widely and I clasped her hand. 

“Maybe, but she has your hair.” 

“Mmmm…she got your beautiful blue eyes.” Ava replied with her shining grey blue pools while looking at our daughter. I interlaced our fingers together and kissed the back of her hand. 

“I love you Aves.”

“I love you, too. Both of you. Ready to Come Home with me?”

“Always.”

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. We have reached the end and my heart is soaring with gratitude. Thank you so much for all your support. Special mention of thanks to Lela and Amithegamer1 who have always been kind on leaving comments for me. To those who have given their perspective, ideas, opinions and remarks please know that I have valued each and every single one. I didn’t realize before how kind words can mean so much for a writer. Please, if you can go for an extramile, leave a comment for those stories that you like. A kudos is great but a few words from you might bring further motivation and inspiration. @Elihu you are so adorable so please don’t shut the world.

**Author's Note:**

> This is all new to me so please be patient.  
> Chapters will be in alternate POVs of Sara and Ava


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